A dogs prayer

[6ballsisall]

TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG
`````````````````````````````````````````````````
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


And, finally, my last question . . . Dear God:
Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my test-icles back?

[whitedog]

Jeff,
with 3 english setters in the house I can totlally relate to,the dog's prayer.

[6ballsisall]

same here WD, One yellow lab and one German Shorthair pointer. Spoiled rotten they are

[bcampbe7]

Thanks for that Jeff. Those are great.

[whitedog]

Same here. Just let them in after being outside all day, 17F here, first and only stop for 2 of them is the water bed. The other is sleeping on the kitchen floor heat vent.

[6ballsisall]

Get this, our German Shorthair, (the dog I paid 1k for because of incredible show and hunting bloodlines) sleeps under the covers with us. She is a great dog but talk about a wussy The Yellow lab, well she'd show a robber into the house and show em all the wifes jewelry but she's pretty fun to play with.

I wouldn't trade either of them for the world though

[bcampbe7]

Originally Posted by jrandol

Get this, our German Shorthair, (the dog I paid 1k for because of incredible show and hunting bloodlines) sleeps under the covers with us. She is a great dog but talk about a wussy The Yellow lab, well she'd show a robber into the house and show em all the wifes jewelry but she's pretty fun to play with.

I wouldn't trade either of them for the world though

That's hilarious Jeff. Our lab has a mean bark but she's all talk.

My uncle has 2 German Shorthairs and one of them sleeps under the covers at the end of the bed! I would burn up!

[LakePirate]

Well Elvis the Giant Blue Tick Coon Hound will be up and baying at a squirrel fart, but the guys breaking into the car and stealing the lap top.....nothing.


Gotta love him...

Great one JR. After 10 years of begging my wife broke down and her rules went like this with our black lab

[BrianM]

Originally Posted by jrandol

Get this, our German Shorthair, (the dog I paid 1k for because of incredible show and hunting bloodlines) sleeps under the covers with us. She is a great dog but talk about a wussy

Jeff,

I didn't know you had a shorthair. Post some pics. I have two. Great dogs. One of mine is terribley cold blooded. If it is less than 75 degrees outside he is miserable . Just got him a sweater for this winter. He thinks he is in dog heaven now.