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Old 06-18-2013, 02:16 AM
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h2oskifreak h2oskifreak is offline
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Originally Posted by Traxx822 View Post
Man I feel like I'm in your same boat with my mother. I have siblings much younger. And for a long time I helped financially to my mother etc etc. When the money train stopped the problems started. And my mother started using some of these tactics and things I read in this article with my younger siblings.

I understand your pain. I just think any amount of pain is worth the effort to at least try to keep communications going. Even if it's one sided. Eventually, they will realize that they have only seen one side. And yours might be greener

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Didn't hear or see my son yesterday either. It hurts so bad when you love them and have done everything and all you get back is hate and rage. I don't want to give up but I have been through so much with him. I tell him I will always be here for him and I get nothing in return. His mother was a mess (moved recently), grandma is "harboring him", and he won't even see me. There is absolutely no reason, just because I have the most basic of expectations and evidently he has been running my ex's home for the last 5 years. Read the link about alienation and sounds like what I have been through the last 5 years, only now my ex. created a monster and left.
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  #12  
Old 06-18-2013, 08:50 AM
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Traxx822 Traxx822 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by h2oskifreak View Post
Didn't hear or see my son yesterday either. It hurts so bad when you love them and have done everything and all you get back is hate and rage. I don't want to give up but I have been through so much with him. I tell him I will always be here for him and I get nothing in return. His mother was a mess (moved recently), grandma is "harboring him", and he won't even see me. There is absolutely no reason, just because I have the most basic of expectations and evidently he has been running my ex's home for the last 5 years. Read the link about alienation and sounds like what I have been through the last 5 years, only now my ex. created a monster and left.
Like I was saying to TRR.

I know it hurts. I hated my father from about 7-15 years old. My mother played games with him. Would tell us he was coming to get us on random days and he was none the wiser. He never showed and she would use that. Or how when I turned 13 and the week after I had my first gf I said I hated him and never wanted to visit again. I could tell you a hundred stories about the things my mother did to my father. But god and myself have forgiven her.

Now when it was my birthday, Christmas, Easter whatever day a holiday. He always called. Sometimes I'd say thanks for calling and hang up on him. Or just flat out hang up.

Now he always made an effort. Finally at 15 years old I realized my mother was a snake and couldn't be fully trusted. I needed help in a big way. And guess who answered the phone, took me in, loved me unconditionally, and never mentioned word one bad about my mother.

I had the best friend a man could ever have from 15-26 years old. In comparison I've been dating the same woman for 7 years. And I only knew my own father for 11 years until he died very horrible death to cancer.

So all I have to say. Is even though you need and I understand the need to move on with your lives, and keep looking through the front windshield and not back. You need to make the effort to at least let them know you are there. And one day an opportunity might present itself to where they need you. And they call.


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