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  #21  
Old 03-15-2013, 08:56 AM
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great short story! My son is almost 5 and i hope he turns out just like yours!
No kid is perfect, nor am I.

I do the best I can and try to be as involved as possible in their lives. Oh and I get to do this all over again. We had an oops almost 6 years ago, so I have one more son to raise. Just hoping I can get it right!
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  #22  
Old 03-15-2013, 08:59 AM
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Kyle, it was hard for me to read your story. I lost my dad and best friend 2 1/2 years ago and it still hurts not having him around. I pray that there is some event that turns y'alls relationship around and that you get to enjoy the future years with him.
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  #23  
Old 03-15-2013, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Kyle View Post
This is a very very hard thread for me.

I'm not married, never been married, nor have kids. I do not have a relstionship with my father due to his behavior and choices. I'm 32 and he has never been around. It was too much for him to go to football games, baseball games, golf tournaments, or ski tournaments. I've skied tournaments for 10 years and have skied regular class C, regional level, and national level tournaments. He has always been too busy to attend and has never been to watch me compete one time.
Kyle - we are in the same boat. I am married though, no kids either. Im 47, dad is 80. I never got the feeling my whole life he liked me. At my nieces wedding my dad overheard me say I was going to replace the carpet in my boat. He screams...you will Fu** that up too! I left. In his eyes I am worthless (I think because I am not an engineer like him) I have tried to hug him / love him over the years, nothing in return. I think I have a life to be proud of - same job for 13 yrs, have two houses, all toys are paid for, some $ in the bank - never in any trouble at all, not even a speeding ticket. I think I am a good son.
I dread going home for the holidays - Christmas is so stressful!!
No grandparents either, all passed (for the most part) before I came along.
I love my mom to death, talk to her weekly.
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  #24  
Old 03-15-2013, 09:41 AM
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A lot of wireless routers have the ability to do access restrictions based upon the ethernet MAC address. That could get you back to one router. That is how I control my son's devices.
+1, you beat me to it
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  #25  
Old 03-15-2013, 09:51 AM
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I really feel for those that have parents that don't love their kids. I thank God for the parents I had that loved me and made me what I am today.
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  #26  
Old 03-15-2013, 10:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Kyle View Post
This is a very very hard thread for me.

I'm not married, never been married, nor have kids. I do not have a relstionship with my father due to his behavior and choices. I'm 32 and he has never been around. It was too much for him to go to football games, baseball games, golf tournaments, or ski tournaments. I've skied tournaments for 10 years and have skied regular class C, regional level, and national level tournaments. He has always been too busy to attend and has never been to watch me compete one time.


All I can say is no matter how bad your kids piss you off, never give up on them. One day they will realize that they don't know everything and want to be around.

I have not hung out with him on a social level in about 15 yrs and I may speak to him 1 or 2 times per year until past year when it has gone to no communication. Birthdays, holidays, etc and no communication.

Everything that a son should learn from their dad has been missed and I have learned things on my own.

My younger married sister had her first child. He didnt even bother making the 3.5 hour drive from Ft Worth to Houston to be around for his first grandchild or be there for his daughter.

Just support your kids and they will be greatfull in the in the long run.
Different people handle things differently....
I've lost my relationship with my 29 year old son (long story), but I was there for EVERYTHING, whether it was showing animals for FFA, baseball, school activities, boy scouts... When he was younger, I had a job where I got off work at 5:00am, was home by 6:00 am. If he had an activity that day, there were often times where I'd stay up all day for him, then coach his ball team that evening, and go back to work that night without ever going to bed.
Wasn't invited to his wedding in November 2011, and would not have gone if I were.
He's not welcome in my home.
I was hospitalized in November 2012, and I reminded my ex that I did not want him anywhere around. (she brought the 2 younger kids to visit)
It's almost like I divorced my oldest son and the ex-wife, and my bitterness is a result from the choices he's made.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I didn't have much family support for my activities.

Yesterday, my daughter was at work and she texted and asked if I could do her a favor.... my standard reply is "I'll do the best I can".... long story short, I drove 60 miles round trip, so I could use my laptop, log into her TurboTax with my iPhone wifi connection and printer to print out her State Tax Return.
And I'd do it again tomorrow if she asked!
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  #27  
Old 03-15-2013, 11:36 AM
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Milk

You get my feelings 100%.

My family (my grandpa, mom, 2 sisters, and bro n law) know and are ver very clear that if something happens to me to not even let him know about it. If I would happen to have my funeral before his they know not to even call and tell him details. I don't want him there.


My 32 bday is Tuesday next week. He texted me last week saying "I know your birthday is coming up, these are the days I have available if you want to meet up." (Not asking how I'm doing or what my schedule was like, but gave me his convienent times) Now you might ask. Why do you have a problem with that......The sorry bastard is sending me that text so he can continue to show his mother that I have abandoned his family and will not return calls, texts, emails, etc. he does this so she will carve me out of a will or not give me any inheritance. The thing is idgaf about her money one bit and I'm not going to be fake friends so she will leave something behind for me. Frankly I don't need or want anything from them.

The man has tried the "oh you will F up that too" with me. The last time he said something like that I ignored until we were alone and then it was real clear that if he ever talked to me that way ever again then he would need some serious assistance picking himself back up.

This piece of work called me out when I was in highschool one day. I walk in my my parents home and I see my mother and two sisters on a couch and him standing over them verbally and physically abusing all 3 of them. (Slapping them and pulling their hair wille cussing them out). He calls outside thinking he could just go off on me and have his Napoleon syndrome control me too. While I was walking through the door to go outside this chicken chit jumps me from behind like a freaking monkey and started choking me out from behind and punching me in the temple and ear area with the other hand. After the garage door finally made it up I could pin him up on a wall and turn to where I was facing him while he was still on me like a monkey. I took about 3 steps into the driveway to get some space and just jumped forward and did a belly flop and made him land head first into the concrete. As he let go I did a simple wrist lock and told him if you ever disrespect my family again you will seriously have perminant problems to deal with every day or be dead. To this day he has never once physically touched my mother or sisters. He has though verbally torn them down and when they cry I remind him of his head being smacked on a concrete deiveway and if he continued then I would make his headache much much worse this time around. The spineless sob called my sister a "B" and a "C" right before her wedding (like about to walk down the isle 10 min before show time) because she wanted her wedding her way and not his. Another event where he was reminded to watch his mouth before he was picking up teeth. The problem is he does this behavior in a public setting and doesn't cause a scene. He waits for one on one time and verbally goes off. So me wearing him out would look like it was done for no reason because he is spineless.


I don't know where this man lives and don't care either. All I have is a cell number. No work number, no home number, no home addy, that's it. I don't care either. I've learned that this is the life God gave me and I'm supposed to learn something from it. Although I will forgive, I will not forget and I never want to be around him ever again. There is nothing to salvage. I never want to see him ever again or speak to him ever again.


You may ask what does this man do for a living.



Well he was a teacher, then a vice principal, principal, now in admin for the local school district........blows me away too I know
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Last edited by Kyle; 03-15-2013 at 11:58 AM.
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  #28  
Old 03-15-2013, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Kyle View Post
Milk

You get my feelings 100%.

My family (my grandpa, mom, 2 sisters, and bro n law) know and are ver very clear that if something happens to me to not even let him know about it. If I would happen to have my funeral before his they know not to even call and tell him details. I don't want him there.


My 32 bday is Tuesday next week. He texted me last week saying "I know your birthday is coming up, these are the days I have available if you want to meet up." (Not asking how I'm doing or what my schedule was like, but gave me his convienent times) Now you might ask. Why do you have a problem with that......The sorry bastard is sending me that text so he can continue to show his mother that I have abandoned his family and will not return calls, texts, emails, etc. he does this so she will carve me out of a will or not give me any inheritance. The thing is idgaf about her money one bit and I'm not going to be fake friends so she will leave something behind for me. Frankly I don't need or want anything from them.

The man has tried the "oh you will F up that too" with me. The last time he said something like that I ignored until we were alone and then it was real clear that if he ever talked to me that way ever again then he would need some serious assistance picking himself back up.

This piece of work called me out when I was in highschool one day. I walk in my my parents home and I see my mother and two sisters on a couch and him standing over them verbally and physically abusing all 3 of them. (Slapping them and pulling their hair wille cussing them out). He calls outside thinking he could just go off on me and have his Napoleon syndrome control me too. While I was walking through the door to go outside this chicken chit jumps me from behind like a freaking monkey and started choking me out from behind and punching me in the temple and ear area with the other hand. After the garage door finally made it up I could pin him up on a wall and turn to where I was facing him while he was still on me like a monkey. I took about 3 steps into the driveway to get some space and just jumped forward and did a belly flop and made him land head first into the concrete. As he let go I did a simple wrist lock and told him if you ever disrespect my family again you will seriously have perminant problems to deal with every day or be dead. To this day he has never once physically touched my mother or sisters. He has though verbally torn them down and when they cry I remind him of his head being smacked on a concrete deiveway and if he continued then I would make his headache much much worse this time around. The spineless sob called my sister a "B" and a "C" right before her wedding (like about to walk down the isle 10 min before show time) because she wanted her wedding her way and not his. Another event where he was reminded to watch his mouth before he was picking up teeth. The problem is he does this behavior in a public setting and doesn't cause a scene. He waits for one on one time and verbally goes off. So me wearing him out would look like it was done for no reason because he is spineless.


I don't know where this man lives and don't care either. All I have is a cell number. No work number, no home number, no home addy, that's it. I don't care either. I've learned that this is the life God gave me and I'm supposed to learn something from it. Although I will forgive, I will not forget and I never want to be around him ever again. There is nothing to salvage. I never want to see him ever again or speak to him ever again.


You may ask what does this man do for a living.



Well he was a teacher, then a vice principal, principal, now in admin for the local school district........blows me away too I know
None of our family stuff has every been that violent, it's more of a "chickensh*t, behind my back" situation. My oldest knows he screwed up, we see each other weekly, (youngest son's baseball games) haven't spoken in years. He doesn't even have to the balls to look me in the eye.
I won't tolerate a thief and a liar, and if he can't admit his mistakes..... his problem, not mine!
Will I ever forgive him? dunno, but I'm not going to be the one that takes the first step!

The type of relationship you mention is what I grew up with, and I made the commitment in my heart that I would never treat a child or wife that way.

Edit:
76s&s,
We didn't mean to jack your thread, I have a great relationship with my 15 year old son, 17 year old daughter, and 20 year old daughter
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  #29  
Old 03-15-2013, 12:48 PM
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Milk, no problem, glad to hear that everything is great with those three.

Kyle, what you described is not a father, not in my eyes. But it sounds like, despite his best effort to screw you up, that someone raised a good young man. To me, my job as a father is to teach, mentor and advise when asked (just to name a few things). I simply want to do what I can to raise good men, that will have the mental aptitude and skills to go out into the world and make in on their own.

I want to be their friend, but I will always be their dad first, which sometime means that they don't like me much. We get though these times, I remind them that I love them and that I only want the best for them.
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  #30  
Old 03-15-2013, 01:08 PM
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My dad was a do-it-myself type of guy, just like I am now. My mom passed away in 2009 and my dad in 2011, so having my 2 best teachers gone, it is hard sometimes.

But as the tables turn, I am on the other side...I now have 2 "grease monkeys" (and trust me, they do not hold back in terms of getting dirty! ) that I am showing how to take things apart and fix. When the weather is warm, they are always outside in the garage with me or in the back yard cutting the grass, etc.

When I first found the project 190 that we bought last fall, my daughter saw the picture in the ad and said "Daddy, you HAVE to buy that boat...it is pink and blue, my favorite color and JD's favorite color." So that was the deciding factor and the wifey could not object!

The kids have been asking when we are getting the boat out of storage and when the river will be "open" for us to go there...Livi already started showing JD where things are in the boat when we had it in our garage last fall. That was cool to see and hear...

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