Morning Joke Thread

[MasterMason]

Hopefully no one is offended, but I found it funny





President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar.

A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that
Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a
real honor! . What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million
Muslims and one blonde with big tits."
The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why
kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you
no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims".

[Hoosier Bob]

I have to say I will be telling that one tomorrow even though it is offensive. I only repeat offensive jokes!
Sorry!

[BriEOD]

Good one!

[JohnnyB]

So this panda is tired of hanging around the zoo and decides one night, when his cage is accidently left open, that he's going to do what people do.

Being after dark, he's heads to the bar for some good 'ol fashion binge drinkin'

So this panda bear is sitting at the bar drinking some beers and is approached by a fine lady who asks him if he wants to go home with her.

So the panda bear obliges and goes back to this gal's place for a night of wild sex.

In the morning he gets up to leave to get back to the zoo, and she says

"You can't leave you have to pay me"

Panda bear says "why would I pay you"

Girl says "I'm a prostitute"

Panda bear says "yeah and I'm a Panda bear"

Girl says "you don't understand".....grabbing a dictionary, she shows the Panda the definition of prostitute: Person who has sex in exchange for money

Quickly thinking, the Panda Bear opens the dictionary to Panda and says "see, Panda Bear : Animal that eats bush and leaves"

"Good-bye"

[BriEOD]

Cute...

[Professor]

Didn't expect that one.

[bradamerry]

A blonde joke, imagine that !

[JEREMY79]

good one

[Ron Grover]

Caution PG-13 rated






The University of Colorado spent $250,000 conducting a study on why the head of a mans ***** is larger than its shaft. At the end of the study they concluded that it was to provide greater pleasure for the man during sex.

Researchers at the University of Kansas did not agree with their findings so they spent $500,000 researching the same subject. Their conclusions were that the larger head was to provide greater pleasure for the woman during sex.

The University of Missouri wanted to settle the issue once and for all. They spent $11.25 on a study and concluded the head was larger to prevent your hand from slipping off and hitting yourself in the forehead.

[bradamerry]

Amen brother !