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  #2131  
Old 10-31-2013, 01:30 PM
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2RLAKE 2RLAKE is online now
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  #2132  
Old 10-31-2013, 01:31 PM
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  #2133  
Old 11-01-2013, 10:06 AM
skitilldark skitilldark is offline
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HELP LINE: " Hello my name is Bob, how can I help you?" Caller: "Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out 'with the girls' a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the prop strut. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"
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  #2134  
Old 11-01-2013, 12:31 PM
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  #2135  
Old 11-01-2013, 01:11 PM
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What do you call a dwarf clairvoiyant who just escaped jail?

A small medium at large
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  #2136  
Old 11-01-2013, 04:20 PM
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Kweisner Kweisner is offline
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Morning Joke Thread

A working man gets a call from his blonde girlfriend. "Honey, I have a real problem. I'm trying to put together a puzzle of a pretty, pretty tiger and none of the pieces will fit! Can you come home from work to help me?" Exasperated, he calmly explains that this isn't a real problem and that he'll help her when he gets home that evening.

He gets home and finds her at the table with the box and all the pieces spread out, and tells her, "Sweetie, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box."
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Last edited by Kweisner; 11-03-2013 at 06:24 PM.
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  #2137  
Old 11-05-2013, 09:30 PM
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A long time ago an Indian child asked his father how his younger brother was named. His father said, after your brother was born I went out of the lodge and heard a wolf howling so I named him Screaming Wolf. The boy then asked how his sister was named. His father answered, when your sister was born I went out of the lodge and saw a loon crying in the water and I named her Singing Loon. Then his father asked, but why are you asking all of these questions Two Dogs Screwing?
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  #2138  
Old 11-06-2013, 01:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DemolitionMan View Post
A long time ago an Indian child asked his father how his younger brother was named. His father said, after your brother was born I went out of the lodge and heard a wolf howling so I named him Screaming Wolf. The boy then asked how his sister was named. His father answered, when your sister was born I went out of the lodge and saw a loon crying in the water and I named her Singing Loon. Then his father asked, but why are you asking all of these questions Two Dogs Screwing?



Heard that many, many years ago. Last word wasn't screwing though...
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  #2139  
Old 11-26-2013, 12:23 PM
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  #2140  
Old 12-20-2013, 12:14 PM
EricB EricB is offline
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Texas A&M Reports Obama is 5th Best President Ever

AFTER SIGNIFICANT RESEARCH BY BOTH THE HISTORY AND SOCIAL SCIENCES DEPARTMENTS AT TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY, THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT OBAMA IS THE 5TH BEST PRESIDENT IN OUR HISTORY!

From a total of 44 US Presidents: Obama is rated as the 5th best President ever!
The publicity release said,"...after only 5 years in office, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best president ever."

The details according to TEXAS A&M:
Reagan and Lincoln tied for first
23 presidents tied for second,
17 other presidents tied for third,
Jimmy Carter came in 4th,
and Obama came in fifth!
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