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Old 04-12-2014, 08:52 AM
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1redTA 1redTA is offline
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Funny craigslist ad

2005 Chevy Silverado 2500 HD 4X4 Duramax odometer: 241000 automatic transmission title : clean
Man mobile for sale! This truck is not for some wanna be who wants to use a truck to climb the social ladder. No sir. This truck is for a real man's man, the kind of guy who can get a Big Mac at McDonalds. The kind of guy that has never been to a Starbucks or even cosidered it.

She has the LT package which is top tier options such as leather, power everything, dual power/heated front seats.

This beast boast's right at 600 ponies thanks to a Bully Dog tuner (unit included) and a K&N cold air intake. She is easy on the motion lotion too! I average 24.5 putting around town and 30.1 on the highway. Yes, you read that right, 30.1 MPG with cruise set at 70. I always keep her lubed up for a smooth ride (oil changes, fuel filter, clean the K&N routinely, etc).

Her (white) exterior is fortified to stand up to her surroundings such as hippies, hybrids, vampire kids, and other every day hazards. She has a Ranch Hand "Bullnose" with a pair of KC headlights and a Warn 16,500lb TI series winch to protect the business end. And a Ranch Hand rear bumper and Nfab crawler style step bars to hold down the sides and rear end. She has a UWS low-profile tool box (with keys) to store your manly stuff such as excess swagger (that's what I use it for anyway).

I just put a new set of Firestone all terrains on her and reworked the front end suspension last summer (tie rods, idler arm, pitman arm). The tires are ok in my book. They are smooth riding on the highway (even when steam rolling vampires) and are aggressive enough to get me to the camphouse at the deer woods.
I don't want to sell the truck but my wife said I "should". I have put less than 2,000 miles on it in the last 12 months since I drive a company truck AND she's a hottie so I'm picking my battle and listing her(the truck not the hot wife)... on my terms. I thought I would go ahead and list the known issues for you in an attempt to deter your purchase.

1) After several years of farting on it, the drivers side lower seat cover earned itself an honorable discharge. I looked up a company called The Seat Shop in Texas and they specialize in exact match leather seat covers. This exact match will cost you $190 and their website has Youtube videos to show you exactly how to install all of their products.

2) A dude I used to be cool with over-stuffed the glovebox with an Alabama First Aid Kit (A stack of fast food napkins used as a first line of defense against boogers, spills, cuts, in-the-woods dumps, puke, etc. You smell what I'm steppin' in I'm sure.) and the latch broke. A new glove box door will run you about $40 on ebay.

3) Some low-life decided that his Duramax needed new center caps more than mine did so he decided to take them off my hands with the five-finger discount. My dog had peed on those at least once a day for a couple of years so that's his own bad karma to deal with.

4) The body has some character or tattoos as I call them. Nothing too bad but there are two dents you can't miss. 1 There is a dent on the rear quarter panel where a hunting trip became a Bigfoot encounter where he ended up kicking my truck as we sped out of the woods. I saw him there standing around 8' tall with dark mean looking eyes right next to a curve in the dirt road. There also happened to be a big mudhole in that curve that had been slowly carved out over many many years of traffic so I did what anyone would have done. I sped up, did a sweet power-slide into the mud and splashed Bigfoot in the face with Marengo County gumbo! He kicked my truck as we slid by. My hunting buddy swears it was a tree-stump but he was knee deep in cold snacks so what the hell does he know. I know what I saw and I was sober as a judge. 2 The second dent came from a Marengo County wall hanger of a 9 point. I hit him on the highway and ended up busting his horns up too bad to mount but he ate good. The dent is my trophy.
Brass tacks, if you have a set and think you're man enough to saddle up with this beast then lets talk. Email me thru Craigs please. Yes this was a colorful accounting of my truck's personality but this is a real truck for sale in Mobile, Alabama.

I can email or text all the photo's you want to see in an attempt to spare my time from tire kickers. I am having trouble attaching my photos to the add so to hell with it. If you're interested drop me a line.

*I only trade with cash.
*I'm not the bank and I won't hold a check.
*I won't be handing out any bank information even if your uncle is a Nigerian prince.
-good talk
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1981 MasterCraft
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Old 04-12-2014, 09:08 AM
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Rockman Rockman is offline
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Oh, that is funny!
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Old 04-12-2014, 09:41 AM
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mikeg205 mikeg205 is offline
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lmao - sober as a judge...
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Old 04-15-2014, 03:14 PM
Waterskibum Waterskibum is offline
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Haha! OMG that has got to make the Best Of CL
The frickin part about Big Foot had me rolling on the floor!
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Old 04-15-2014, 03:23 PM
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DemolitionMan DemolitionMan is offline
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That is a good one.
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Old 04-15-2014, 03:38 PM
hondaprlud hondaprlud is offline
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awesome!
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Old 04-15-2014, 05:01 PM
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CBRENT CBRENT is offline
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I kinda wanna hang out with this guy! I bet he tells a great camp fire tale.

The big foot story would be perfect for Jack Links Jerky!
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