Go Back   TeamTalk > Off Topic > Off Topic Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #2301  
Old 09-15-2016, 05:52 PM
lda6339 lda6339 is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: May 2016
Boat: 2016 Mastercraft X-30 6.0L
Location: Dallas Texas
Posts: 1,289
Awesome.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #2302  
Old 09-16-2016, 10:24 AM
JMLVMI's Avatar
JMLVMI JMLVMI is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: May 2013
Boat: 2007 X2 MCX
Location: RDU, NC
Posts: 1,192
A wealthy man took out an ad in the paper for someone to come and do some painting for him. He lived in a really large home with a beautiful wraparound porch, and he needed someone to paint it. "Porch painter needed" the ad said. He didn't get rich by overspending, so he picked the lowest price response out of the bunch.

The cheapest painter showed up and said "I'm ready to get to work!" Figuring the job would take most of the day, the wealthy man goes about the house doing leisurely activities.

The painter comes back to him half an hour later and says he's done.

The wealthy man says, "That's amazing! It only took you 30 minutes to paint my porch?!"

...

The cheap painter said, "yessir, I'm finished. But best I can figure, that car's a Ferrari, not a porch."
__________________
2007 X2 - "The Sun Squirrel"
2000 PS195 - Sold
Reply With Quote
  #2303  
Old 09-21-2016, 01:13 PM
slalomjunkie slalomjunkie is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Boat: NA
Location: West
Posts: 1,315
Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Larry turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave. The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Larry says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"Yep, I have a family alright."

"I'm not done yet.. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual! That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Doug says, "What's that?"

Larry says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

"Nope," replies Doug.

"Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"
Reply With Quote
  #2304  
Old 09-21-2016, 08:08 PM
scott023's Avatar
scott023 scott023 is offline
MC Master Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Boat: 2008 X45 Switch L18
Location: Canada
Posts: 17,197
Quote:
Originally Posted by slalomjunkie View Post
Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Larry turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."

Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave. The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Larry says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"Yep, I have a family alright."

"I'm not done yet.. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual! That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Doug says, "What's that?"

Larry says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"

"Nope," replies Doug.

"Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"
Lmafo
Reply With Quote
  #2305  
Old 09-21-2016, 09:02 PM
hondaprlud hondaprlud is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Boat: 08 SANTE 230
Location: Kent, OH-IO
Posts: 1,032
Quote:
Originally Posted by slalomjunkie View Post



"Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"

Love it!!


Sent from my crappy iPhone 6.
Reply With Quote
  #2306  
Old 09-22-2016, 10:27 AM
slalomjunkie slalomjunkie is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Boat: NA
Location: West
Posts: 1,315
Finally, I got a laugh


====

An Old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"

"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.

"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.

"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"

So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again.

"Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'

"Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much..."
Reply With Quote
  #2307  
Old 09-22-2016, 10:44 AM
gt23's Avatar
gt23 gt23 is offline
MC Maniac
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Boat: 2015 X30, 2008 X15 (sold)
Location: Alberta and Idaho
Posts: 2,608
Quote:
Originally Posted by slalomjunkie View Post
Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Larry turns to Doug and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes."



Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave. The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic.



"Logic?" Larry says. "What's that?"



The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"



"Yeah."



"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."



"That's true, I do have a yard."



"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."



"Yes, I do have a house."



"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."



"Yep, I have a family alright."



"I'm not done yet.. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual."



"I am a heterosexual! That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."



Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.



"Logic?" Doug says, "What's that?"



Larry says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?"



"Nope," replies Doug.



"Yer a h-mo, ain't ya?"


Lol.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #2308  
Old 09-22-2016, 10:46 AM
gt23's Avatar
gt23 gt23 is offline
MC Maniac
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Boat: 2015 X30, 2008 X15 (sold)
Location: Alberta and Idaho
Posts: 2,608
Quote:
Originally Posted by slalomjunkie View Post
Finally, I got a laugh





====



An Old man is walking down the street one afternoon when he sees a woman with perfect breasts.



He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for $100?"



"Are you nuts?!" she replies, and keeps walking away.



He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does.



"Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000?" he asks again.



"Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?"



So the little old man runs around the next block and faces her again.



"Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for $10,000?!"



She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, $10,000... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."



So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.



The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'



"Nah," says the little old man... "Costs too much..."


Brilliant!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #2309  
Old 09-22-2016, 01:00 PM
slalomjunkie slalomjunkie is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Boat: NA
Location: West
Posts: 1,315
There’s a guy named Jack. He has a girlfriend named Wendy. Jack is hopelessly in love with Wendy, and decides to ask her to marry him. To prove how much he loves her, he goes and gets “Wendy” tattooed on his p-nis, as a gesture of loyalty. When he’s erect, his p-nis shows her name, and when it’s limp, it reads “Wy”

So, the next night, they have passionate sex, and when Wendy sees her name on Jack’s member, he pops the question, and she accepts.

They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Once down there, they decide to try out all of the local culture, including a nude beach. They go to the beach, and are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing and go and get something to drink at the bar down the beach.

So, he walks over to the bar, with his limp p-nis, trying not to let his eyes wander; he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. He orders a drink from the guy at the bar, and while making the drink, he notices that the bartender, also naked, has “Wy” tattooed on his limp p-nis as well.

So Jack says to the guy, “Wow, what a coincidence! Hey, do you have a girlfriend named ‘Wendy’, and her name tattooed on your dick too?”

And the bartender looks down at Jack’s member, back to his and starts laughing. He says, “No, mon. Mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a nice day.'”
Reply With Quote
  #2310  
Old 09-22-2016, 01:22 PM
Endurance's Avatar
Endurance Endurance is offline
TT Enthusiast
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Boat: 1998 MasterCraft Maristar 200 VRS
Location: Intermountain West
Posts: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by slalomjunkie View Post
There’s a guy named Jack. He has a girlfriend named Wendy. Jack is hopelessly in love with Wendy, and decides to ask her to marry him. To prove how much he loves her, he goes and gets “Wendy” tattooed on his p-nis, as a gesture of loyalty. When he’s erect, his p-nis shows her name, and when it’s limp, it reads “Wy”

So, the next night, they have passionate sex, and when Wendy sees her name on Jack’s member, he pops the question, and she accepts.

They decide to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. Once down there, they decide to try out all of the local culture, including a nude beach. They go to the beach, and are having a great time, when Jack decides to get up from sunbathing and go and get something to drink at the bar down the beach.

So, he walks over to the bar, with his limp p-nis, trying not to let his eyes wander; he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. He orders a drink from the guy at the bar, and while making the drink, he notices that the bartender, also naked, has “Wy” tattooed on his limp p-nis as well.

So Jack says to the guy, “Wow, what a coincidence! Hey, do you have a girlfriend named ‘Wendy’, and her name tattooed on your dick too?”

And the bartender looks down at Jack’s member, back to his and starts laughing. He says, “No, mon. Mine says ‘Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a nice day.'”
I'm lost. Shouldn't the bartender's tattoo say "Wa?"
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:15 AM.