Go Back   TeamTalk > Off Topic > Off Topic Discussion

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #2141  
Old 12-20-2013, 12:53 PM
scott023's Avatar
scott023 scott023 is offline
MC Master Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Boat: 2008 X45 Switch L18
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,462
Quote:
Originally Posted by EricB View Post
Texas A&M Reports Obama is 5th Best President Ever

AFTER SIGNIFICANT RESEARCH BY BOTH THE HISTORY AND SOCIAL SCIENCES DEPARTMENTS AT TEXAS A&M UNIVERSITY, THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED THAT OBAMA IS THE 5TH BEST PRESIDENT IN OUR HISTORY!

From a total of 44 US Presidents: Obama is rated as the 5th best President ever!
The publicity release said,"...after only 5 years in office, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best president ever."

The details according to TEXAS A&M:
Reagan and Lincoln tied for first
23 presidents tied for second,
17 other presidents tied for third,
Jimmy Carter came in 4th,
and Obama came in fifth!



They were closely bunched there...
Reply With Quote
  #2142  
Old 12-20-2013, 02:01 PM
TxsRiverRat's Avatar
TxsRiverRat TxsRiverRat is offline
MC Maniac
 
Join Date: May 2011
Boat: 93 Prostar 205
Location: Southwest
Posts: 3,441
A little boy says to his mother,"Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"*

His mother replied,* "Don't even go there! From what I* remember about that party,* you're lucky you don't bark!
__________________
What does the fox say?

Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding...

You know they all have a little string hanging out, but it's not a tampon, it's a price tag...
Reply With Quote
  #2143  
Old 12-21-2013, 07:48 AM
MI_Corey's Avatar
MI_Corey MI_Corey is offline
MC Fanatic
 
Join Date: May 2013
Boat: 2008 X1
Location: Michigan
Posts: 507
A zebra dies and gets to the pearly gates in Heaven. St. Peter stands at the gate and asks him if there's anything about life that he always wondered about or wanted to know. The zebra replies, " Yeah, I've always wondered; Am I a black zebra with white stripes or a white zebra with black stripes?" Peter was stumped. "You will have to ask God that one. I'll show you the way." Peter leads him to the throne room and the zebra went in. He walks in very nervous and scared but asks God the question. "I went all through life never knowing who I am. Am I a black zebra with white stripes or a white zebra with black stripes?" God answers, "You are what you are." The zebra walks out dissapointed. When he gets out Peter is there and says, " Well, what did he say?" "In all his infinite wisdom he answered, "You are what you are", so I guess I'll never know." Peter says, "Well that means you are a white zebra with black stripes!" "How do you figure?" "If you were a black zebra with white stripes he would have said, you is what you is!"
Reply With Quote
  #2144  
Old 12-21-2013, 08:15 AM
scott023's Avatar
scott023 scott023 is offline
MC Master Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Boat: 2008 X45 Switch L18
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,462
Quote:
Originally Posted by MI_Corey View Post
A zebra dies and gets to the pearly gates in Heaven. St. Peter stands at the gate and asks him if there's anything about life that he always wondered about or wanted to know. The zebra replies, " Yeah, I've always wondered; Am I a black zebra with white stripes or a white zebra with black stripes?" Peter was stumped. "You will have to ask God that one. I'll show you the way." Peter leads him to the throne room and the zebra went in. He walks in very nervous and scared but asks God the question. "I went all through life never knowing who I am. Am I a black zebra with white stripes or a white zebra with black stripes?" God answers, "You are what you are." The zebra walks out dissapointed. When he gets out Peter is there and says, " Well, what did he say?" "In all his infinite wisdom he answered, "You are what you are", so I guess I'll never know." Peter says, "Well that means you are a white zebra with black stripes!" "How do you figure?" "If you were a black zebra with white stripes he would have said, you is what you is!"
Saw that coming.
Reply With Quote
  #2145  
Old 02-05-2014, 11:42 AM
TxsRiverRat's Avatar
TxsRiverRat TxsRiverRat is offline
MC Maniac
 
Join Date: May 2011
Boat: 93 Prostar 205
Location: Southwest
Posts: 3,441
This is how lotteries really work



A man moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

Come morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, but I got some bad news. The donkey died."

"Well then, just give me my money back."

"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

"OK then, just unload the donkey."

"What ya gonna do with em."

"I'm gonna raffle him off."

"Ya can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

"Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anyone he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with the guy and asked, "What happened with the dead donkey?"

"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2.00 apiece and made a profit of $898."

"Didn't no one complain?"

"Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2.00 back."
__________________
What does the fox say?

Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding...

You know they all have a little string hanging out, but it's not a tampon, it's a price tag...
Reply With Quote
  #2146  
Old 02-12-2014, 06:07 PM
dt37803's Avatar
dt37803 dt37803 is offline
TT Enthusiast
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Boat: 2014 X2 5.7 Pro and Surf
Location: Lake Tellico home of MC
Posts: 336
The Blonde

WINTER BLONDE

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the trucker stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door,

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my names is Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde.

He knocks on her window and after she lowers it, he says....


"Hi, my name is Mark. It's winter in Illinois, and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
Reply With Quote
  #2147  
Old 02-25-2014, 12:21 PM
shepherd's Avatar
shepherd shepherd is offline
MC Addict
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Boat: 2003 Prostar 197 35th Anniversary Edition
Location: South Coast
Posts: 7,341
A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
__________________
/ \

2003 Prostar 197 35th Anniversary
Reply With Quote
  #2148  
Old 02-25-2014, 01:36 PM
thatsmrmastercraft's Avatar
thatsmrmastercraft thatsmrmastercraft is online now
MC Master Poster
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Boat: 1977 Stars & Stripes
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 14,665
Quote:
Originally Posted by shepherd View Post
A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
__________________
Peter

Tandem Axle Wheel & Tire Package $629
4 Matte Black T08 14x6 wheels, 4 ST205/75R14 Kenda Loadstar tires

Single Axle Wheel & Tire Package $379
2 Matte Black T08 14x6 wheels, 2 ST215/75R14 Kenda Loadstar tires
MOUNT, BALANCE & FREE SHIPPING INCLUDED IN BOTH PACKAGES



CARB REBUILDING - FAST TURN-AROUND. $100 +PARTS
LED lights, Hubs, Spare Tire Carriers, Chrome & Powder Coated Lug Nuts - Red, Blue & Black


PM or email me tiresplease@gmail.com
Reply With Quote
  #2149  
Old 02-25-2014, 01:39 PM
mikeg205's Avatar
mikeg205 mikeg205 is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Boat: 1995 Pro Star 205 5.7 Liter
Location: Plainfield - Joliet, IL
Posts: 10,400
Send a message via Skype™ to mikeg205
Quote:
Originally Posted by shepherd View Post
A man received the following text from his neighbor:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".
hmmmm wifey didn't LOL like I did
__________________
...A bad day water skiing still beats a good day at work...1995 Pro Star 205....
Reply With Quote
  #2150  
Old 02-25-2014, 02:01 PM
pmkkdx's Avatar
pmkkdx pmkkdx is offline
MC Devotee
 
Join Date: May 2009
Boat: Mastercraft, X2, 2004, Violet (purple) & white ... previous 1983 black/silver stars
Location: Southwest (Central Texas)
Posts: 1,516
LOL ... I hate autocorrect!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:44 AM.