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View Full Version : Funny story, you guys are gonna love this


Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 09:06 PM
Get this: OUr local county, city governments along with our hospital and police agencies have this "emergency preparedness commitee" or something like that. SO they stage this fake disaster drill with 2 parts. 1st part is like this, fake terrorists take over a local school with some type of chemical warfare, so all the police, fire dept, EMS agencies are to respond to it and demonstrat that they are able to carry out all the necessary procedures to deal with a chemical attack in an effective manner. the 2nd part is, fake terrorists steal a boat from a nearby marina and attack by spilling fake chemicals into the lake and then they are supposed to flee away and the U.S. Coast Guard is supposed to intercept them and the local EMS agencies are supposed to respond the fake spill site to "clean it up". SO I get a call from my buddy today, he says whatcha doing this afternoon? wanna be part of the disaster drill?? I say sure as long as my boss says I can leave work for it, what do I have to do? He says, we need to steal the sheriff patrol's rescue boat and simulate a terrorist attack with fake chemicals in the water. I say sure! So they give us an actual PLAN or script of how this is supposed to go down. (I thought it was supposed to be a surprize) so heres where it gets funny......They posted this in the newspaper a week ahead of time that this "surprize attack" is going to happen so the whole area knows aobut it. THEN, we show up at the marina to "steal" the boat, and the local news channel has a news crew there with cameras, etc. to catch it all for the news. AND we are supposed to take the news crew with us in the boat :rolleyes: How goofy is this?? OH wait! it gets better. so we get the boat out of the marina, do our fake chemical spill, and proceed to flee away. so they put the call in that the fake attack happend, and we have a police radio with us to listen to all the radio play about it. we also have a marine band radio. so we hear all this hubbub about the school fake disaster and NOTHING about the boat fake disaster. We keep "fleeeing" for about an hour or so. NO coast gaurd to be seen. we gone about 20 miles TOWARD the US coast gaurd station. NO CG boats. SO We start to wonder if they cancelled the drill because it was raining. SO I get on the cell phone and call the marina. they have all sorts of fire trucks and police there to "clean up" the fake spill. they are getting to think the coast gaurd cancelled this or forgot about it. SO the marina harbor master gets on the radio and gets the USCG on the line and asks them whats going on. They ask if the "attack boat" is still "at large" and he says yes, it is. SO the USCG says, we been looking for it, but we cant find it. Keep in mind, we are driving right towards their station, we are driving a 30 year old POS MARKED county sherriff boat with a big red flashing light on it. So we are getting tired of cruising around lake superior waiting for them to catch us(it was windy and cold). so the harbor master tells them our position so they can come find us to "intercept and apprehend us". :uglyhamme How warm and fuzzy does that make you feel when you can out fox them with a 30 year old beat up marked sherrif patrol boat driving right to them??? :eek: We laughed and laughed!!! So I call my buddy, the mayor to find out whats up at the disaster HQ. He says, you guys screwed up the drill, we have 3 agencies looking for you and they cant find you!!! yea right, WE screwed up?? so they finally "catch us" and we "surrender". (I do have to say its a bit intimidating when they prepare to board your boat and they all hop out with 9MM's on their side...puts the fear of god in you.) So we get the boat back to the marina, have some laughs about this. then we go to the city haul for the big debriefing of the mission. SO we stroll in and the head guy says, "Ahh our boat pilots have just returned. A big thanks to them for their effort and help with our drill today, even though they had to call the USCG and let them know their position to get caught!!!" EVERYONE in the place busts out laughing, except the cops. :purplaugh What a laugh!! we had so much fun. the comedic value of this was well worth the trip. I just had to tell you guys about this... I am still laughing....

LakePirate
05-10-2006, 09:22 PM
Were you wearing your super hero costume?

If so that explains why you got away.

Datdude
05-10-2006, 09:33 PM
Real comforting :eek:

erkoehler
05-10-2006, 09:35 PM
That's nice....might be time for a change of my major :(

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 09:51 PM
Oh come on Erk, where's your spirit???? :)

TMCNo1
05-10-2006, 10:03 PM
UMP, you now have a new occupation just in case and you will get all the virgins they say you will get, just get them before you blow yourself up in the POS sheriff's boat.

What will the people in the Upper Michigan Peninsula do for fun next?
Film @11:00

Thank god they didn't want you'all to attack a sewage treatment plant! :uglyhamme :uglyhamme :uglyhamme

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 10:34 PM
The film really is at 11:00 :headbang: I got my VCR ready to tape it! THe news lady said she was gonna have fun with the story!!! I cant wait!!! :woohoo:

6ballsisall
05-10-2006, 10:35 PM
You sure TMC1 wasnt with you? If so it would explain things. I mean with TMC1's farrrrrrrrrrtttttttssssssssssss would you want to come hunt him down and gag yourself? :woohoo:

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 10:35 PM
Were you wearing your super hero costume?

If so that explains why you got away.

Nope Lakey, no costume. I bet the USCG would have loved that!!! How do you explain a man wearing a super hero outfit in the middle of lake superior with a news crew on the boat?? :friday: :D

LakePirate
05-10-2006, 10:37 PM
Nope Lakey, no costume. I bet the USCG would have loved that!!! How do you explain a man wearing a super hero outfit in the middle of lake superior with a news crew on the boat?? :friday: :D

I hope that you atleast had on your goggles
:headbang:

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 10:39 PM
UMP, you now have a new occupation just in case and you will get all the virgins they say you will get, just get them before you blow yourself up in the POS sheriff's boat.

What will the people in the Upper Michigan Peninsula do for fun next?
Film @11:00

Thank god they didn't want you'all to attack a sewage treatment plant!

I would have enlisted you to help with the "gas" portion of the event no1 :wavey: Maybe you could cut the cheese at our next disaster drill?? we could give you free chilidogs and cheeseburgers with onion rings, until you "expelled your chemicals "on our town :friday:

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 10:40 PM
I hope that you atleast had on your goggles
:headbang:
well, had my sunglasses on with my floaty retainer thing on them. does that count?? :confused: :cool:

Hoosier Bob
05-10-2006, 10:41 PM
Sounds like fun but wheres the part where you pull over the yacht full of babes and perform the strip search? No beer, babes or MasterCrafts? That is exactly why I do not watch the news! :D

LakePirate
05-10-2006, 10:41 PM
well, had my sunglasses on with my floaty retainer thing on them. does that count?? :confused: :cool:

I guess you were incognito.

bigmac
05-10-2006, 10:50 PM
You sure TMC1 wasnt with you? If so it would explain things. I mean with TMC1's farrrrrrrrrrtttttttssssssssssss would you want to come hunt him down and gag yourself? :woohoo:

This photo comes to mind

http://mccollister.info/gas.jpg

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 10:58 PM
OK, gotta tune into the 11:00 news to see how funny this is!!! :toast:

88 PS190
05-10-2006, 11:12 PM
every time i see that picture i hope that guy doesn't slip or hit anything.

Hoosier Bob
05-10-2006, 11:12 PM
And you said what I posted was in bad taste! ;) [QUOTE=bigmac]This photo comes to mind

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-10-2006, 11:24 PM
The news was good! They portrayed it in a funny, but honest way that it took the USCG over an hour and 20 miles later to "catch" us. They refrained from saying that it actually took a phone call to alert them to our position, but I suppose they didnt want to make them look bad :rolleyes:

Hoosier Bob
05-10-2006, 11:26 PM
I bet UMP is like Mikey on Monsters Inc! You know those that have kids they put the tv station logo right over where he is standing! Then UMP will run back and say I WAS ON TV!!! Way to go UMP you have done your part to save us all! If that had been Erie I think they would have let the toxins stay! ;)

bigmac
05-11-2006, 07:44 AM
And you said what I posted was in bad taste! ;) This photo comes to mind

You mean the picture of the Amsoil bottle that you posted..?

#47of100TeamMC
05-11-2006, 10:53 AM
Ump, That is Helarious. Last Fall I went with the Fam up to Bayfield Wi. and the marina there has a coast guard. we stopped and chatted with one of the guys on the CG. He showed us the boat and told us all about what it's capabilities where and such. It was pretty neat. I'm assuming the CG that was part of your drill wasn't the same as this. But maybe they would have gotten to ya first anyway!? Hopefully they are working on their search and recover tactics!


Good story thanks.

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 11:31 AM
I would have enlisted you to help with the "gas" portion of the event no1 :wavey: Maybe you could cut the cheese at our next disaster drill?? we could give you free chilidogs and cheeseburgers with onion rings, until you "expelled your chemicals "on our town :friday:


A six pack and a quart of pickled boiled eggs and I could have had planes falling into Lake superior for a real special effect.
Next drill, if you participate, when they have to call and give the location of the terrorists, tell them, they are on the Yadkin River in Central NC already and I'll blast'um, when they get here.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 11:41 AM
A six pack and a quart of pickled boiled eggs and I could have had planes falling into Lake superior for a real special effect.
Next drill, if you participate, when they have to call and give the location of the terrorists, tell them, they are on the Yadkin River in Central NC already and I'll blast'um, when they get here.
Sounds like your farts could be a first line of national defense. :uglyhamme NO1, you need to register your digestive track with the EPA!!!!! :D

Ya know, dont ask me why, but this reminds me of something goofy. My dad told me he read that during the social unrest of the 60's there were of course quite a few public riots with various protests. so the law enforcement officials developed this tool to thwart riots, but he hasnt heard of it since. He said they developed this device that it emmited a specific frequency that caused specific muscles in your digestive track to spasm causing you to loose your bowels in your pants. What an effective tool! why dont they use this? instead of getting cops and civilians hurt in riots, just drop a few of these "crap machines" into a riot zone. Now just how effective are a bunch of rioters with $hit pants? thats gonna take the wind out of their sails mighty quick if you ask me...... :confused:

Ric
05-11-2006, 11:45 AM
ump that may have been like the pool chemical that turns purple if you pee in my pool. It's a rumah..

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 11:53 AM
ump that may have been like the pool chemical that turns purple if you pee in my pool. It's a rumah..
If you let No1's digestive track near your pool after some beer and pickeled eggs, one break of the wind and your pool could be in flames. :eek:

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 12:23 PM
THREADJACK, somewhat!
HAVE A COLONOSCOPY AT AGE 50!

Found out I had colon cancer in 2002 at age 53 and my doctor had not sent me for a colonoscopy at age 50. Had colorectal surgery and after everything [chemo/radiation] had finished, I had a side effect of it all that created ????? a control problem for me. In 2 years, 2 hospitals and 4 doctors went UP that road 16 times trying to find out what was going on and I joke, that the county has my digestive track in the county roadmap. Life goes on and humor helps, if you can't already tell.

Ric
05-11-2006, 12:25 PM
THREADJACK, somewhat!
HAVE A COLONOSCOPY AT AGE 50!

Found out I had colon cancer in 2002 at age 53 and my doctor had not sent me for a colonoscopy at age 50. Had colorectal surgery and after everything [chemo/radiation] had finished, I had a side effect of it all that created ????? a control problem for me. In 2 years, 2 hospitals and 4 doctors went UP that road 16 times trying to find out what was going on and I joke, that the county has my digestive track in the county roadmap. Life goes on and humor helps, if you can't already tell.

jeeeez man... I am glad you beat it though. the farts definitely beat the alternatives

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 12:30 PM
Sounds like your farts could be a first line of national defense. :uglyhamme NO1, you need to register your digestive track with the EPA!!!!! :D


so the law enforcement officials developed this tool to thwart riots, but he hasnt heard of it since. He said they developed this device that it emmited a specific frequency that caused specific muscles in your digestive track to spasm causing you to loose your bowels in your pants. What an effective tool! why dont they use this?


Saw something to that effect on the Discovery Channel on Non-lethal weapons once!

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 12:32 PM
jeeeez man... I am glad you beat it though. the farts definitely beat the alternatives


For a lack of better terms, it ain't the farts that are my problem, it's No 2 and I ain't talkin' about my wife either!

Tell me about it! I could be pushing up and fertilizing daisies!

BIGBADBLUE
05-11-2006, 12:38 PM
UMP,

Where do you live in the UP. I went to Tech and loved it up there. Great place to live ... I guess just not very prepared for terrorist. What are the odds that they attack the UP?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 12:57 PM
UMP,

Where do you live in the UP. I went to Tech and loved it up there. Great place to live ... I guess just not very prepared for terrorist. What are the odds that they attack the UP?
I went to Tech too. I cant tell you where I live, becuase that would give away my superhero location, Batman didnt even let Commissioner Gordon know where the Batcave was did he? Nope.

as far as da UP preparing for attacks, I dont think its a problem unless they want to take over the world with beat up pickup trucks, snowmobiles, Pasties, Maple Syrup, Old milwaukee beer and Lake Trout. :confused:
I love it here too. Its a skiers paradise if you can hack the cold temps.

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 01:03 PM
If you let No1's digestive track near your pool after some beer and pickeled eggs, one break of the wind and your pool could be in flames. :eek:


I used to be crazy enough to burn one once and a while, till I burnt the frayed ends on the legs of a pair of cut-off blue jeans after eating my share of pinto beans at our place at the lake. The flames didn't go THRU the fabric, they went UP my legs! I don't do that anymore, I grew up, Yea!

Ric
05-11-2006, 01:05 PM
I used to be crazy enough to burn one once and a while, till I burnt the frayed ends on the legs of a pair of cut-off blue jeans after eating my share of pinto beans at our place at the lake. The flames didn't go THRU the fabric, they went UP my legs! I don't do that anymore, I grew up, Yea!
I cannot believe I just read that! :firejump:

Ric
05-11-2006, 01:06 PM
there's probably not any terrorist designs on my town either :rolleyes:

I went to Tech too. I cant tell you where I live, becuase that would give away my superhero location, Batman didnt even let Commissioner Gordon know where the Batcave was did he? Nope.

as far as da UP preparing for attacks, I dont think its a problem unless they want to take over the world with beat up pickup trucks, snowmobiles, Pasties, Maple Syrup, Old milwaukee beer and Lake Trout. :confused:
I love it here too. Its a skiers paradise if you can hack the cold temps.

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 01:07 PM
I cannot believe I just read that! :firejump:


Ain't life great! Only in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 01:10 PM
Ain't life great! Only in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My buddy, the mayor, he lights his farts on fire too. his wife gets SOOO P***ed off when he does it!! He will feel the urge and scramble for a cigarette lighter and let er fly!!! His wife really gets ticked if he does when kids are around :eek: ITs a laugh!!

6ballsisall
05-11-2006, 01:12 PM
My buddy, the mayor, he lights his farts on fire too. his wife gets SOOO P***ed off when he does it!! He will feel the urge and scramble for a cigarette lighter and let er fly!!! His wife really gets ticked if he does when kids are around :eek: ITs a laugh!!

Glad to hear of such a "poised" and "proper" politician :rolleyes: :D

Ric
05-11-2006, 01:15 PM
My buddy, the mayor, he lights his farts on fire too. his wife gets SOOO P***ed off when he does it!! He will feel the urge and scramble for a cigarette lighter and let er fly!!! His wife really gets ticked if he does when kids are around :eek: ITs a laugh!!
That just aint right

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 01:17 PM
Glad to hear of such a "poised" and "proper" politician :rolleyes: :D
Oh I could tell you all kids of stories about the Mayor. He and I been buds since child hood. He is my ski bud! He is on the fire dept, and he has lit himself on fire 3 times that I know about, and thats NOT counting burning his farts. He is a blast to party with! :D He also broke 3 of my parents good lawn chairs while drunk, belly flopped on my dad's pool cover while drunk and ruined it, and burned a whole in my dad's water pump hose by leaving the hose on the hot muffler. :rolleyes: He also got my parents into several 4x4 catastrophies when he had his ol 85 blazer. He alwasy called my dad to come resque him.....

Ric
05-11-2006, 01:18 PM
Oh I could tell you all kids of stories about the Mayor. He and I been buds since child hood. He is my ski bud! He is on the fire dept, and he has lit himself on fire 3 times that I know about, and thats NOT counting burning his farts. He is a blast to party with! :D He also broke 3 of my parents good lawn chairs while drunk, belly flopped on my dad's pool cover while drunk and ruined it, and burned a whole in my dad's water pump hose by leaving the hose on the hot muffler. :rolleyes: He also got my parents into several 4x4 catastrophies when he had his ol 85 blazer. He alwasy called my dad to come resque him.....
His name kennedy by any chance? ;)

TMCNo1
05-11-2006, 01:41 PM
You guys are killing me! I don't know if I would go to any of his campaign rallies or not? Apparently this town you live in only has 28 members and 24 of them are his family that can vote. What would this guy do if Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton came to town?
He sound like one of my neighbors. This guy hasn't ever bought a weedeater yet and everyone said he had a drinking problem since he and his wife scalded their daughter in the kitchen with a pot of boiling water. Well, late one sunday evening he was mowing, I looked out and he was trimming the moss off the rear end of this ceramic deer he has in the front yard with a pair if those old hand held grass clippers. He was kinda stumpling around in his attempt to do his trimming and he fell head first toward the mossy deers azz and from where I was standing it looked like his head went up the deers behind. Made my weekend!
Oh, by the way, their daughter just graduated college as a degree in Psychology, go figure!

Kevin 89MC
05-11-2006, 02:31 PM
I went to Tech too. I cant tell you where I live, becuase that would give away my superhero location, Batman didnt even let Commissioner Gordon know where the Batcave was did he? Nope.

as far as da UP preparing for attacks, I dont think its a problem unless they want to take over the world with beat up pickup trucks, snowmobiles, Pasties, Maple Syrup, Old milwaukee beer and Lake Trout. :confused:
I love it here too. Its a skiers paradise if you can hack the cold temps.
I went to Houghton last spring for a weekend - snow skied at Bohemia - that was intense! Saw the Gophers beat the Huskies in hockey - that was cool, and tickets were $3! I agree about any attacks here in MN or MI, they'd have to be pretty desparate to want to come here!

BIGBADBLUE
05-11-2006, 04:52 PM
Not very hard to be the huskies these days ... they are in a 20 year slump. Hockey recruits figured out that you could actually go to a college that it did not snow 300" a year and girls actually attended. But hey ... ya get da good education at da tech.

And can anyone actually drink more beer than a yupper?

BIGBADBLUE
05-11-2006, 04:56 PM
Sorry ... long day ...

Should read " Not very hard to BEAT the huskies ....

See what I mean about education?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 05:00 PM
And can anyone actually drink more beer than a yupper?
Flat out NO! I gaurantee it. you can argue it all day long, but its simply no. My parents used to own a grocery store for 20 years, and they had a liquor license, and they got newletters from the state of michigan every quarter and the newletters stated that our county consumer more alcohol PER CAPITA than any other county in the entire USA. You can choose to believe it or not. I live here, there is nothing to do in the winter but drink. and most people combine drinking with every activity that to do. :rolleyes: Its a serious fact. I'm not proud of it either.

Ric
05-11-2006, 05:00 PM
And can anyone actually drink more beer than a yupper?
there is a hoosier of a certain name on here that might be able to do it

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-11-2006, 05:11 PM
there is a hoosier of a certain name on here that might be able to do it
You have a good point there Ric. Maybe Hoosier really is a Yooper??? :D

BIGBADBLUE
05-11-2006, 09:09 PM
I absolutely agree with UMP. When I was in Houghton "Jims Food Mart's" claim to fame was they sold more beer per square foot of any store in the state of Michigan. Just study and drink ... nothing more, nothing less.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
05-12-2006, 09:00 AM
I absolutely agree with UMP. When I was in Houghton "Jims Food Mart's" claim to fame was they sold more beer per square foot of any store in the state of Michigan. Just study and drink ... nothing more, nothing less.
I belive that about Jim's food mart. They always had the best selection of beer there. I always bought my beer there. Tech even stopped calling school closed due to bad weather conditions during the late 80's because Jim's food mart would SELL OUT there entire stock of beer, and sell most of the wine, and booze when Tech called a "snow day" and closed school. :eek: :eek: