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tex
04-24-2006, 08:00 PM
Now you know why I ski.
Yesterday I played my one golf round a year. I was doing a buddy a favor and playing in a scramble that he had organized. Did I mention that I suck at golf? About half way through the round, I got ready to tee off. I hit one of those drives that never gets but about 3 feet off the ground. I crushed it and it struck one of those big cow birds that was standing down by the lady's tee. Killed the bird dead! I'm not joking. It must have went about 30 lbs. I am still catching chit from people calling and giving me the business about being a bird killer. On the bright side, I will do personal appearances at your lake to take care of your jet skiers!

JimN
04-24-2006, 08:03 PM
Did it have udders or horns? Udders would be a cow, horns is a bull.

What kind of bird was it really? Goose, pelican, pteradactyl, archiopterix?

tex
04-24-2006, 08:10 PM
It was one of those big white crane looking birds.

LakePirate
04-24-2006, 08:11 PM
Dick Cheney may invite you on his next bird hunt. Be Careful...

SkiDog
04-24-2006, 08:56 PM
I have a friend who plays golf with us and one time he teed off on the first hole, hit a Canadian goose in the arse and we NEVER found the ball! The next day, I see this goose(not sure if its the same one or not) flying down the middle of a 4 lane highway about 10 feet in the air. Well, he is going the same direction as me, then I notice him still flying as hard as he can, but hes losing altitude at a pretty fast rate. The next thing I see, he's making a CRASH landing right down in the medium!
He never even tried to cup his wings like normal birds do when they land. This bird hit the dirt so hard all I saw was dust & dirt & feathers! If this wasn't the same bird with a Titleist in his *** then he was just having a bad day!

3event
04-24-2006, 09:07 PM
First time I golfed on a course, I teed off and smacked our company's President in the small of the back. A very gracious guy, he apologized for walking ahead of a novice and not watching.

They called me "Powerdrive" around the office for a while, but since the Pres was not a real popular guy at that time, I was also hailed as a hero by some.....

TMCNo1
04-24-2006, 09:25 PM
I have a friend who plays golf with us and one time he teed off on the first hole, hit a Canadian goose in the arse and we NEVER found the ball! The next day, I see this goose(not sure if its the same one or not) flying down the middle of a 4 lane highway about 10 feet in the air. Well, he is going the same direction as me, then I notice him still flying as hard as he can, but hes losing altitude at a pretty fast rate. The next thing I see, he's making a CRASH landing right down in the medium!
He never even tried to cup his wings like normal birds do when they land. This bird hit the dirt so hard all I saw was dust & dirt & feathers! If this wasn't the same bird with a Titleist in his *** then he was just having a bad day!


Skidog, you need serious help! :uglyhamme :uglyhamme

Had a severe thunderstorm here early Sat. morning and the wind was blowing horrible, a chicken in the backyard layed the same egg 3 times and most of the birds that are normally singing in the trees and flying around were riding the bus! :D

Workin' 4 Toys
04-25-2006, 12:43 AM
Now you know why I ski.
Yesterday I played my one golf round a year. I was doing a buddy a favor and playing in a scramble that he had organized. Did I mention that I suck at golf? About half way through the round, I got ready to tee off. I hit one of those drives that never gets but about 3 feet off the ground. I crushed it and it struck one of those big cow birds that was standing down by the lady's tee. Killed the bird dead! I'm not joking. It must have went about 30 lbs. I am still catching chit from people calling and giving me the business about being a bird killer. On the bright side, I will do personal appearances at your lake to take care of your jet skiers!
All you need is better clubs.
I got myself a set o' Callaway's. It must have been a big improvement in my game. I now get Double Bogies instead of just singles.....:rolleyes: ;)

stevo137
04-25-2006, 08:53 AM
At least you got a birdie!

Farmer Ted
04-25-2006, 09:24 AM
Now you know why I ski.
Yesterday I played my one golf round a year. I was doing a buddy a favor and playing in a scramble that he had organized. Did I mention that I suck at golf? About half way through the round, I got ready to tee off. I hit one of those drives that never gets but about 3 feet off the ground. I crushed it and it struck one of those big cow birds that was standing down by the lady's tee. Killed the bird dead! I'm not joking. It must have went about 30 lbs. I am still catching chit from people calling and giving me the business about being a bird killer. On the bright side, I will do personal appearances at your lake to take care of your jet skiers!


I played in a golf tourney on base and there's a hole near the front gate...

we also have these barriers installed so nobody can run the gate at high speed (6 foot poles that are 3 feet in the ground 3 feet above ground)

retirees hit them all the time

see where I'm going with this

well the day of our tournament, some guy gets his Explorer stuck, somehow he managed to drive over the pole then it got stuck between the front of his tire and the back of his bumper

Closed the front gate down for about 4 hours....

well I throttle my approach shot and really got ahold of it, see that it's going in hot, so hot I know it's off the green and then all of a sudden I hear BANG....

Ooops I hit the guys car


Luckily the Cop snagged my ball and I didn't have to go look for it.....

tex
11-15-2007, 12:14 AM
I've picked up the sticks again. Enjoy drinking and hitting!