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Danimal
04-10-2006, 11:22 AM
Well,, the ex-wife is up to it again. She informed me that she is taking me back to court for more child support. Let me preface this by saying I have absolutly no issues with paying CS. I am a very involved father. But with that being said... when is too much?? I pay her so much that she only needs to work part time. Sometimes I think the system is way out of wack. :mad:

The one thing that enables my son and I to spend time together in the summer is the boat and now I'm afraid that I just might have to get rid of her. My son is 16 and you know what 16 year olds are like... the less time they spend around mom and dad the better. They are starting to develop their own life and identity and are way busy. I love my boat for this reason. We get to spend some great family time that some parents don't get.

rant over...

LakePirate
04-10-2006, 11:39 AM
That really sucks. I agree that the laws are way out of whack.

Hope you don't have to trade in the quality time with the son for a couple of bucks for the ex-wife.

kalanic
04-10-2006, 11:45 AM
That sucks! She a gold digger! I give you great respect for paying CS. My fiance battles with her ex constantly for CS. He complains over what he has to pay yet can go out & buy a brand new pool table & new Chrysler 500. Doesn't want to buy his 5 year old daughter new clothes but spoils himself. What a scum bag! Thats when the system need to step in. Your case sounds like the system is being abused by the ex.

Danimal
04-10-2006, 11:47 AM
Thanks LakePirate. My wife told me under no circumstances that we are going to sell the boat. God bless her... but I'm trying to be a realist. With the gas prices, boat payment and insurance plus a substantial increase in CS, it doesn't look good. I'll hang on to her as long as I can.

Danimal
04-10-2006, 11:53 AM
That sucks! She a gold digger! I give you great respect for paying CS. My fiance battles with her ex constantly for CS. He complains over what he has to pay yet can go out & buy a brand new pool table & new Chrysler 500. Doesn't want to buy his 5 year old daughter new clothes but spoils himself. What a scum bag! Thats when the system need to step in. Your case sounds like the system is being abused by the ex.

I already pay a substantial amount. This is the third year in row that she is taking me back to court, yet for some reason I'm still buying clothes and $100.00 a pair tennis shoes for my son because his mother won't. Some day he will see what his mother is up to. I only have a couple more years to go with the CS and my relationship is great with my son so I will talk bad about his mother in his presence. I know that there are people that have much more worse CS issues than I so I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.

bcampbe7
04-10-2006, 11:59 AM
I already pay a substantial amount. This is the third year in row that she is taking me back to court, yet for some reason I'm still buying clothes and $100.00 a pair tennis shoes for my son because his mother won't. Some day he will see what his mother is up to. I only have a couple more years to go with the CS and my relationship is great with my son so I will talk bad about his mother in his presence. I know that there are people that have much more worse CS issues than I so I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.


This may be worth a shot, but the laws are probably different in your State...

A guy I work with was in a similar situation only his daughter was actually living with him because she was not getting along with her mother. He got the CS stopped and custody granted to him. Even though the daughter was only 16, she was allowed to tell the court who she wanted to live with.
The mother does not have to pay child support as part of the agreement, and he was not allowed to go back on the 2 years worth of CS he paid while the daughter lived with him. That part didn't make sense to me, but he now has full custody of his daughter so he could care less.

Also, isn't there a formula of some sort that determines the max amount of child support?
Another c0-worker recently got divorced and I remember him working with some formula that included his income, her income, # of children, etc. to determine how much child support he would pay.

There should be a max % of income that the ex can take.

ttu
04-10-2006, 12:04 PM
Danimal, I am dreading the day that my ex does this to me. I pay $600 over what the court required to make sure my children will be taken care of.

Now my girlfriend is on the opposite end of the spectrum. Her piece of crap ex husband has not paid but 1 month in the last 6 years. He is a independent contractor so being able to garnish his wages is impossible and of course the oklahoma dept of human services does nothing.

Stick to your guns and hire a good atty.

Good luck

Danimal
04-10-2006, 12:10 PM
This may be worth a shot, but the laws are probably different in your State...

A guy I work with was in a similar situation only his daughter was actually living with him because she was not getting along with her mother. He got the CS stopped and custody granted to him. Even though the daughter was only 16, she was allowed to tell the court who she wanted to live with.
The mother does not have to pay child support as part of the agreement, and he was not allowed to go back on the 2 years worth of CS he paid while the daughter lived with him. That part didn't make sense to me, but he now has full custody of his daughter so he could care less.

Also, isn't there a formula of some sort that determines the max amount of child support?
Another c0-worker recently got divorced and I remember him working with some formula that included his income, her income, # of children, etc. to determine how much child support he would pay.

Ahhh yes, this is how this all started. My son and his mother weren't getting along at all and I live in a better school district. So she sent him to live with me and go to school here. Everything was going great! (at this time my ex and I got along great). I filed papers to temporarily get my CS stopped becasue my son was living with me for 6 months. When she got the papers, she freaked and called my son and told him to pack his bags, he's coming home. I started the process of fighting for custody because she clearly didn't have my son's best interest at heart. It was just a money play. The ex played my son like a fine tuned instrument. My son was so distraught that his mom was hurting so bad (because of me) that our relationship soured bad. I did the one thing my lawyer told me not to do... i caved and let him go back to his moms and dropped the custody battle. I couldn't stand to see my son hurting so bad. Well... that was last time my ex and I spoke. Everything is done through emails and the lawyers now and she vindictively takes me back to court every year for more support.

FUN!

Ric
04-10-2006, 12:34 PM
Ahhh yes, this is how this all started. My son and his mother weren't getting along at all and I live in a better school district. So she sent him to live with me and go to school here. Everything was going great! (at this time my ex and I got along great). I filed papers to temporarily get my CS stopped becasue my son was living with me for 6 months. When she got the papers, she freaked and called my son and told him to pack his bags, he's coming home. I started the process of fighting for custody because she clearly didn't have my son's best interest at heart. It was just a money play. The ex played my son like a fine tuned instrument. My son was so distraught that his mom was hurting so bad (because of me) that our relationship soured bad. I did the one thing my lawyer told me not to do... i caved and let him go back to his moms and dropped the custody battle. I couldn't stand to see my son hurting so bad. Well... that was last time my ex and I spoke. Everything is done through emails and the lawyers now and she vindictively takes me back to court every year for more support.

FUN!
I hate to hear of this
clearly, CS is a government prescribed remedy to a real problem. This only makes it worse... It makes no sense, the amounts that we pay and the structure of deductions based on gross income etc... It is ashame that this seemingly has come between you and your son!
I dont know that there is a max child support amount in my state since it's based on a percentage of income. Yes, if your ex wanted to continue to collect while your son was living with you, she is clearly out for something other than your son's interest. I hate to hear that you may sell the boat, but if that's what it takes, the MC can be replaced at a later date

Danimal
04-10-2006, 12:50 PM
My relationship with my son is way better. It was a tough couple of years but he is seeing things differently as he gets older and wiser (as wise as a 16 year old can be :D )

I just received a very nice private message from a wise individual and that person was right about many things. I will try and keep the boat since it is the one thing my son and I really enjoy. The smiles, giggles, laughs and the pride of achievment that my son gets is well worth anything my ex does to us. I sell the boat... she wins.

Thanks for everyones encouragement and I apologize for dumping personal stuff on the forum.

Dan

ski_king
04-10-2006, 12:54 PM
Could it be that she is seeing her free ride coming to an end in less than 2 years when your son turns 18 and she is out to get all she call before the well dries up?

Danimal
04-10-2006, 12:56 PM
Could it be that she is seeing her free ride coming to an end in less than 2 years when your son turns 18 and she is out to get all she call before the well dries up?

I'm sure that has a lot to do with.

Ric
04-10-2006, 12:59 PM
My relationship with my son is way better. It was a tough couple of years but he is seeing things differently as he gets older and wiser (as wise as a 16 year old can be :D )

I just received a very nice private message from a wise individual and that person was right about many things. I will try and keep the boat since it is the one thing my son and I really enjoy. The smiles, giggles, laughs and the pride of achievment that my son gets is well worth anything my ex does to us. I sell the boat... she wins.

Thanks for everyones encouragement and I apologize for dumping personal stuff on the forum.

Dan
Good move! I do think the boat IS in the interest of the children. (as long as they already have the essentials, of course)
Yes, king, it looks that same way to me.
Hey danimal, CS is negotiable... They don't say that, but it definitely is. nobody wants to go to court, so if the lawyers each get around a grand out of this spat, they are happy no matter if you, your ex, or your boy are or not.

_DiZZ_
04-10-2006, 01:01 PM
I feel your pain…. :( After struggling to pay for child support for the last 8 years I was promoted to Management. I received a nice raise and was able to finally breathe. The ex caught wind of the promotion and took me back to court. Well… she received a $507 dollar a moth increase… :mad: Then I am some 2000 in arrears because the increase started when it was filed with the court. . I’m just looking forward to the fact my oldest will be 17 this October. So a year and a half and the ex is off my payroll :uglyhamme

Danimal
04-10-2006, 01:02 PM
Good move! I do think the boat IS in the interest of the children. (as long as they already have the essentials, of course)
Yes, king, it looks that same way to me.
Hey danimal, CS is negotiable... They don't say that, but it definitely is. nobody wants to go to court, so if the lawers each get around a grand out of this spat, they are happy no matter if you, your ex, or your boy are or not.


Yeah, I'm taking this one all the way to mediation. That way I get to talk, not just the lawyers.

Ric
04-10-2006, 01:07 PM
I feel your pain…. :( After struggling to pay for child support for the last 8 years I was promoted to Management. I received a nice raise and was able to finally breathe. The ex caught wind of the promotion and took me back to court. Well… she received a $507 dollar a moth increase… :mad: Then I am some 2000 in arrears because the increase started when it was filed with the court. . I’m just looking forward to the fact my oldest will be 17 this October. So a year and a half and the ex is off my payroll :uglyhamme
It oughtta be tax deductible I tell ya!!!!!!! :mad:

_DiZZ_
04-10-2006, 01:16 PM
It oughtta be tax deductible I tell ya!!!!!!! :mad:

I totaly agree

LakePirate
04-10-2006, 01:26 PM
Thanks for everyones encouragement and I apologize for dumping personal stuff on the forum.

Dan

That's what we are here for.

The really bad thing with CS is that if you wind up making less money there is no recourse, your payments will be from your 100k job even if you making 50K now. See all the dot-comers that are back living with their folks because they can't afford rent anywhere.

Farmer Ted
04-10-2006, 01:38 PM
I have full custody of my daughter and don't get any child support, don't need it but it would be nice at times....

I'm no lawyer and I haven't stayed at a Holiday Inn Express lately but I was under the impression that there had to be a couple of years between child support hearings unless there was a "material change in circumstances" like your wages increased 20% in a year?


lawyer up and see what they say

Farmer Ted
04-10-2006, 01:42 PM
Danimal, I am dreading the day that my ex does this to me. I pay $600 over what the court required to make sure my children will be taken care of.

Now my girlfriend is on the opposite end of the spectrum. Her piece of crap ex husband has not paid but 1 month in the last 6 years. He is a independent contractor so being able to garnish his wages is impossible and of course the oklahoma dept of human services does nothing.

Stick to your guns and hire a good atty.

Good luck


be sure you have proof of this canceled checks or payroll deduction and make sure it's marked "child support" dude I work with hand a handshake deal with his ex for an extra $150 a month.

she moved to Alaska and got the enforcement moved up there and "forgot" to inform them of the extra she was recieving....

long story short, he's got a $2400 credit and her checks are going to be "short" while Alaska uses the credit line he built

6ballsisall
04-10-2006, 02:18 PM
Sell your boat to a buddy for $1 and then make sure you can use it whenever you want. That way you don't have the asset on your hands but still get all the benefits. Then the biatch can't take it from you!.

Sorry to hear of the challenges Danimal!

east tx skier
04-10-2006, 02:27 PM
Sell your boat to a buddy for $1 and then make sure you can use it whenever you want. That way you don't have the asset on your hands but still get all the benefits. Then the biatch can't take it from you!.

Sorry to hear of the challenges Danimal!

You might want to check your State's fraudulent transfer statute before doing this.

SkiDog
04-10-2006, 02:28 PM
I know this guy who knows this other guy....... :cool:

6ballsisall
04-10-2006, 02:29 PM
You might want to check your State's fraudulent transfer statute before doing this.


gall dang! It's good to have an attorney on this site!! :wavey:

east tx skier
04-10-2006, 02:29 PM
I mentioned that as a skier, not an attorney. ;)

6ballsisall
04-10-2006, 02:32 PM
I mentioned that as a skier, not an attorney. ;)


but of course!! :steering:

Ric
04-10-2006, 02:49 PM
Sell your boat to a buddy for $1 and then make sure you can use it whenever you want. That way you don't have the asset on your hands but still get all the benefits. Then the biatch can't take it from you!.

Sorry to hear of the challenges Danimal!
woah, I live in Texas of course, but (that I know of)no judge in a child support case is going to rule that you sell your boat. Or maybe I should say the boat being an asset doesn't figure into his income. Dan's just sayin that he may have to sell it to defray costs for the upcharge in exwife errrr child support.

6ballsisall
04-10-2006, 02:54 PM
sorry all, I'll shut up now. I have no experience with the above situation and thought child support was based on both income and assets. My bad, please consider my previous posts as a misinformed individual. :wavey:

Ric
04-10-2006, 02:55 PM
sorry all, I'll shut up now. I have no experience with the above situation and thought child support was based on both income and assets. My bad, please consider my previous posts as a misinformed individual. :wavey:
Stop, hug your wife and kid and thank God that you have no experience.

Leroy
04-10-2006, 03:06 PM
Good luck Danimal! That is a tough story, especially when you are just trying to do the best for your son.

Danimal
04-10-2006, 03:09 PM
but I was under the impression that there had to be a couple of years between child support hearings unless there was a "material change in circumstances" like your wages increased 20% in a year?


lawyer up and see what they say

Bingo! My wages have been elevated substantially due to me getting into sales. But, with that being said, all it has allowed me to do is live a normal life, like buying a very modest house at the age of 40 and buying a 16 year old boat without freaking out on where the grocery money is coming from. My wife and I only had one car for the longest time because we couldn't afford 2 payments. I have had some very lean years and haven't been able buy a house until now. Hell... I don't even have any sort of retirement or 401K because of just scraping by over the years.

SkiDog
04-10-2006, 03:22 PM
Hey fellows, we helped out a little buddy in need, now lets step up and help out D. I'm sure amongst us, we could come up with some way to shut up this biotch! :eek3:

6ballsisall
04-10-2006, 03:27 PM
Stop, hug your wife and kid and thank God that you have no experience.

I do everyday!! And also thank my parents for sticking together too!

6ballsisall
04-10-2006, 03:28 PM
Hey fellows, we helped out a little buddy in need, now lets step up and help out D. I'm sure amongst us, we could come up with some way to shut up this biotch! :eek3:

Anybody heard from Guido lately?? :D

Danimal
04-10-2006, 03:47 PM
Hey fellows, we helped out a little buddy in need, now lets step up and help out D. I'm sure amongst us, we could come up with some way to shut up this biotch! :eek3:

hahaha My concience would weigh too heavy. I'll keep doing the right thing and be the bigger person. She'll get hers in the end. Karma isn't something I take lightly. Good things come to people who do all the right things for all the right reasons.

Farmer Ted
04-10-2006, 09:00 PM
Bingo! My wages have been elevated substantially due to me getting into sales. But, with that being said, all it has allowed me to do is live a normal life, like buying a very modest house at the age of 40 and buying a 16 year old boat without freaking out on where the grocery money is coming from. My wife and I only had one car for the longest time because we couldn't afford 2 payments. I have had some very lean years and haven't been able buy a house until now. Hell... I don't even have any sort of retirement or 401K because of just scraping by over the years.



well, I know for a fact that in Louisiana, for child support your income is figured post 401K, it might not be a bad idea to find out if this applies in your state as well and start contributing.

André
04-10-2006, 09:37 PM
hahaha My concience would weigh too heavy. I'll keep doing the right thing and be the bigger person. She'll get hers in the end. Karma isn't something I take lightly. Good things come to people who do all the right things for all the right reasons.
Great thinking!!! :dance:
Hope things will get better for you! :toast:

jlf
04-11-2006, 08:10 AM
I hate to play the bad guy here but you mentioned that you have increased your income, in our state that would mean that the cs also increases. She might have a valid case here. I am no expert on the situation but in our state CS is based upon 17% of gross income for one child. It also means if you get a bonus that she gets a bonus too, technically if you change a tire for someone and they pay you cash she is entitled to 17% of that too, you are supposed to report that yourself. I will agree it sort of sucks, I went through this for years with my mother and father.

JimN
04-11-2006, 08:32 AM
Danimal- dosn't she need to prove need in cases like this? If you're paying 100 clams for sneakers and she isn't, what is she spending the money on? It's supposed to be for the kids, not herself. Can she prove that they need more than they're getting? Is she trying to buy him a new car or something?

Workin' 4 Toys
04-11-2006, 08:41 AM
Stop, hug your wife and kid and thank God that you have no experience.
You can say that again.....

Danimal
04-11-2006, 10:33 AM
I hate to play the bad guy here but you mentioned that you have increased your income, in our state that would mean that the cs also increases. She might have a valid case here. I am no expert on the situation but in our state CS is based upon 17% of gross income for one child. It also means if you get a bonus that she gets a bonus too, technically if you change a tire for someone and they pay you cash she is entitled to 17% of that too, you are supposed to report that yourself. I will agree it sort of sucks, I went through this for years with my mother and father.

You are correct, she is entitled to 17% of my gross wages. But, with that being said, I have had less than stellar lawyers in the past and have been paying more than the 17%. I keep all my receipts for clothes and shoes and it is quite a tidy sum that I spend a year. Not to mention that I also do all of the pick up and drop offs (My son lives 35 miles away and at almost $3.00/gallon of gas, it adds up) I also pay for all of his school supplies, school fee's and sports fee's and still somehow lost the child tax deduction. (I ended up paying taxes this year instead of getting a refund)

The whole point of this thread was... when is enough too much and does it take $1000.00/mo to raise a 16 year old.

I'm going to feel like a rich man when this is all over :D

Ric
04-11-2006, 10:34 AM
I hate to play the bad guy here but you mentioned that you have increased your income, in our state that would mean that the cs also increases. She might have a valid case here. I am no expert on the situation but in our state CS is based upon 17% of gross income for one child. It also means if you get a bonus that she gets a bonus too, technically if you change a tire for someone and they pay you cash she is entitled to 17% of that too, you are supposed to report that yourself. I will agree it sort of sucks, I went through this for years with my mother and father.
Let's say that my state implemented such legislation that would automatically deduct, from your every income source, the percentage per child for CHILD support. (basically keeping up to the penny payments to the exact percentage of what you make each day(bonuses, sidejobs, gambling winnings etc))
I'd want that same legislation to allow the paying parent's amount to be calculated on after-tax income OR allow me to claim the children as dependents... (Never mind the 45 days in the summer where I pay food,clothing,childcare etc whilst still paying into CHILD support) :mad:

phecksel
04-11-2006, 11:40 AM
I already pay a substantial amount. This is the third year in row that she is taking me back to court, yet for some reason I'm still buying clothes and $100.00 a pair tennis shoes for my son because his mother won't. Some day he will see what his mother is up to. I only have a couple more years to go with the CS and my relationship is great with my son so I will talk bad about his mother in his presence. I know that there are people that have much more worse CS issues than I so I suppose I shouldn't complain too much.

Stop buying $100 tennis shoes! If mom won't buy them you don't need to either. My kids are happy to get the $18.95 pair, or they can wear the old pair. Heck, even the running shoes for the youngest (track star), only cost $89.95, and I think my wife just picked up a new pair for $49.95.

We made some financial life style changes for the kids sake. What is unbelievable, was how much waste I discovered. Approached the family budget from the bottom up, rather then how can I cut. What do we really need? Take for example internet. I was paying 39.95 for DSL, and that was going up. I had the same email address for years, and didn't want to change. So, I made the decision to change once more, and created my own URL. Cost was relatively cheap, and it allowed me to shop the internet as a commodity. Got the same speed DSL for 14.95/m for one year. One year teaser rate... Fast forward one year, rates going up to $39.95, called them and said, I can go back to my old service for their teaser rate, go to cable with higher speed and a teaser rate, or I can stay with you. Now paying 19.95 for another year, and doubled my speed. Went through every single expense that way. Wife now principally only buys stuff on sale. I'm suprised if I see the food bill where it hasn't calculated the % saved at less then 38%. Our family meal out is at the Moose Lodge (which happens to be on the lake), instead of the other lake restaurant ($$$), or some other moderate restaurant.

But back to my original comment, there is no way kids need $100 tennis shoes, and even more importantly you shouldn't be buying the kids anything. It's her responsibility. Kids don't really give a damn about how much or what they have, they want to know you really care and will listen. My oldest got really mad Saturday night, slamming door mad, which she didn't get away with, because we wouldn't give her money to go skating. Keep in mind, it had nothing to do with the money, we were in a serious accident earlier in the day and wanted to keep on eye on her. Next day she was apologetic, happy, and understood we really cared.