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6ballsisall
11-17-2005, 09:30 PM
TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG
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Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


And, finally, my last question . . . Dear God:
Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?


P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my test-icles back?

whitedog
11-17-2005, 09:38 PM
Jeff,
with 3 english setters in the house I can totlally relate to,the dog's prayer.

6ballsisall
11-17-2005, 09:42 PM
same here WD, One yellow lab and one German Shorthair pointer. Spoiled rotten they are :rolleyes:

bcampbe7
11-17-2005, 09:44 PM
Thanks for that Jeff. Those are great. :uglyhamme

whitedog
11-17-2005, 09:47 PM
Same here. Just let them in after being outside all day, 17F here, first and only stop for 2 of them is the water bed.:( The other is sleeping on the kitchen floor heat vent. :rolleyes:

6ballsisall
11-17-2005, 09:50 PM
Get this, our German Shorthair, (the dog I paid 1k for because of incredible show and hunting bloodlines) sleeps under the covers with us. She is a great dog but talk about a wussy :rolleyes: The Yellow lab, well she'd show a robber into the house and show em all the wifes jewelry but she's pretty fun to play with.

I wouldn't trade either of them for the world though

bcampbe7
11-17-2005, 09:52 PM
Get this, our German Shorthair, (the dog I paid 1k for because of incredible show and hunting bloodlines) sleeps under the covers with us. She is a great dog but talk about a wussy :rolleyes: The Yellow lab, well she'd show a robber into the house and show em all the wifes jewelry but she's pretty fun to play with.

I wouldn't trade either of them for the world though

That's hilarious Jeff. Our lab has a mean bark but she's all talk.

My uncle has 2 German Shorthairs and one of them sleeps under the covers at the end of the bed! I would burn up!

LakePirate
11-17-2005, 09:53 PM
Well Elvis the Giant Blue Tick Coon Hound will be up and baying at a squirrel fart, but the guys breaking into the car and stealing the lap top.....nothing.


Gotta love him...:)

Leroy
11-17-2005, 09:58 PM
Great one JR. After 10 years of begging my wife broke down and her rules went like this with our black lab

BrianM
11-18-2005, 09:56 AM
Get this, our German Shorthair, (the dog I paid 1k for because of incredible show and hunting bloodlines) sleeps under the covers with us. She is a great dog but talk about a wussy :rolleyes:



Jeff,

I didn't know you had a shorthair. Post some pics. I have two. Great dogs. One of mine is terribley cold blooded. If it is less than 75 degrees outside he is miserable . Just got him a sweater for this winter. He thinks he is in dog heaven now.

richardsoncd
11-18-2005, 10:00 AM
Short hairs are great, I rescued a short hair mix...he doesn't like the cold either, but I can't bring myself to putting him in a sweater. I will probably always have a short hair (since getting the mix), perfect counter for the ways of my Black Lab.

BrianM
11-18-2005, 10:35 AM
Short hairs are great, ... I will probably always have a short hair (since getting the mix),

Every time dogs come up on this board I love talking about Shorthairs. My wife and I have decided that shorthairs will probably be the only type of dogs we ever own. Great personalities, not as much of a fur/grooming/dirt issue, good with other people kids etc and good size for our likes. A little nuts but that adds to the personality.

Never thought I would put a dog in a sweater either but my Mom was in town and made it for him. He loves it even if he does look like a wuss with it on. Oh well.

6ballsisall
11-18-2005, 07:44 PM
Jeff,

I didn't know you had a shorthair. Post some pics. I have two. Great dogs. .


Heres a pic from our Shorthair's 8th Birthday. Spoiled I know.........

6ballsisall
11-18-2005, 07:45 PM
One more of the 2 hanging out with dad in the morning.

6ballsisall
11-18-2005, 07:47 PM
Last one, Christmas 2003. Jazz LOVES presents. Believe it or not she was guarding all the presents from everyone. She loves opening them regardless of if they are hers or not. Spoiled dog!

BrianM
11-18-2005, 07:56 PM
Great pictures. My oldest (the sweater lover) looks a lot like Jazz. He hates the camera. Doesn't like the noise it makes. My female loves the camera. Guess that comes from her show dog lines. :rolleyes:

roddydog
11-18-2005, 09:16 PM
Nothing beats having a god........... I mean dog. Mine is 15 this winter (husky-border collie-shep) and she is riddled with arthritis just this year............ Not going to be a fun day on my street when she decides she has had enough.
Great thread J.

6ballsisall
11-18-2005, 09:23 PM
Great pictures. My oldest (the sweater lover) looks a lot like Jazz. He hates the camera. Doesn't like the noise it makes. My female loves the camera. Guess that comes from her show dog lines. :rolleyes:


Thats funny you mentioned that. Jazz is getting like that, now that she is older alot of different noises really bother her. I tried to take a pic of her tonight and she freaked out. Our coffee maker beeps when it's done brewing and she goes running. :rolleyes:

RexDog1
11-23-2005, 04:45 PM
Jrandol

Thank you very much for that

I just lost my dog REX of 13 years and it brought back some good memory’s

Thank You, Have a good Thanksgiving


RIP REX