View Full Version : New Pres. for Texas!

09-03-2004, 08:41 AM
I don't know which way you will vote, but I find this funny. Have a good
The Texas Solution To The Presidential Election

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from
the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins over
President Bush. We'll miss you, too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the
results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from
Texas are considering taking matters into our their hands.

Here is our solution:

#1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 states.)

#2: George W. Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with
Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for
the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those
northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer
chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell
Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD,
Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi,
Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer
research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and
other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT., Texas A&M, Texas Tech,
Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University,
etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway

9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need
some more)

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the
Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down
here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24
hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call
Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas

12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types
of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf.
And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good.
Don't need any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in
good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President
Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9 mile per gallon SUV. The rest of
the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your
communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes but since
Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed, The People in Texas


09-03-2004, 09:11 AM
SEE YA,,:uglyhamme ...

09-03-2004, 09:32 AM
I would like to apply for citizenship in Texas right now! Made my first visit to the Lone Star state in May and I loved it. You Texan's are a proud bunch of people and I envy that. God Bless Texas :worthy:

09-03-2004, 09:34 AM
Begin Transmission Command Defiant

Long live the Republic!!

I believe the phrase "Yee-Haw" is also appropiate here, so


lakes Rick
09-03-2004, 10:25 AM
The only problem I see is your native language is becoming Spanish???

09-03-2004, 11:09 AM
Lee, you obviously forgot that MC doesn't have a factory in Texas, so when Pres. Kerry (hurts to say that) imposes a ban on all exports to Texas (in retaliation for the oil ban), no more MCs or the parts to fix/maintain them will be crossing the border. All things considered, it might be a small price to pay.

09-03-2004, 11:32 AM
Thanks CaptKidd!

I was about to start packing to move to Texas until you pointed that out!

As far as I know the only ski boat made in texas is an I/O that is a tank. A fast tank with a Volvo outdrive, but still a tank.

09-03-2004, 11:40 AM
Tige is built here, but not for me

09-03-2004, 12:21 PM
Louisiana could stand on it's own as far as the Natural resource thing. And American Skier is made here?

09-03-2004, 01:01 PM
Texas Air National Guard!! Ha!! Now that's funny.


Bush? Bush? Bush?

"He's not here, sir".

Cheney? Cheney? Cheney?

"Not here either, sir".

Well, gd-it, who is here!!??

"Ann Richards, sir".