View Full Version : funny thread

06-12-2012, 12:56 PM
was looking around and found this

one of the stories
I moved into my grandmother's house when she moved out into a retirement home. The house needed a lot of work and I was going to live there and "update" in hopes that my mother, uncle, and aunt could sell the home when needed. My grandfather died in the house 3 years earlier, and at times it would feel weird being there alone... I would say hi to him every now and then in hopes he might be able to hear me.

Of course, with the house comes the garage. It is a small, attached 12x24 garage that I spend a lot of time in. One particular night I was up pretty late, until about 2 in the morning. I was tired, and not making much sense, so I decided it was time to call it a night. I shut down the computer, turned off the garage furnace, and made my way into the house. The lightswitch is actually located inside the house, just beyond the garage door on the way in or out. I reach around the door, turn off the light, make my way into the house when behind me I hear this growl.

"*** was that..." Keep in mind, it's late, i'm tired, and not making much sense. I turn the light back on, walk back in, look around carefully... Can't find anything. No noise. But, I know I heard something, I'm not going crazy. I give up looking, walk back into the house, turn off the light, then hear SOMEONE behind me say "SQUARE". At first I'm freaked out again because it's a robotic type voice. I turn on the light, notice the direction it came from this time. Turn off the light, again, "SQUARE". It was coming from the garbage bag of baby toys that I'd picked up from my brother's house earlier that morning. But why is it only activating when the light shuts off? Is there some type of electrical field disruption when I hit the switch? (it was late)

So I dig through the bag and find 3 children's puzzles, one with basic shapes, and of course, the square piece is missing. Another puzzle has animals, and the elephant piece was missing. There is a light sensor underneath the spot where the puzzle piece goes, so when the piece is inserted, the sensor detects the piece and says something outloud. The growl I heard was apparently the robotic muffled interpretation of what should be an elephant sound. The square was obviously the square puzzle piece. Turning off the light triggered the puzzle making it think I inserted the puzzle piece.

Feeling stupid, I retired to bed. It made me heart jump a bit though. The next morning I called my brother and thanked him for the puzzles. I got halfway through the story and he goes "was it that damn elephant? That thing has made me jump a couple times" haha

06-12-2012, 01:11 PM
That is hilarious.:D:D:D

06-12-2012, 02:12 PM
haha good stuff

06-12-2012, 02:25 PM
liked these too

ok this is a weird one...I was trimming bushes out in the yard (hang with me and we'll get in the garage) when I spot a huge praying mantis....so the deviant in me says I bet I can snip it with my shears (no hate mail from the huggers please)...one quick swipe and I cut it's head clean off. I thought man that was a pretty cool shot...maybe I'm a ninja.

Anyway, so 20 minutes later my wife comes out and wants to go to Lowes. We go to Lowes, buy some stuff and head home. I pull in to the garage and feel a scratching on my leg. I look down and it's the headless praying mantis crawling up my pants leg.

I swear to you this is a true story.Right after I finished a white epoxy floor in my pole barn, it was curing later that day and I opened the door to show a friend how it looked (and how bad it smelled). We had the door up for a few minutes tops and it was getting dark out. Shut the door and went in for the night.
Next morning I went out and opened the door and there was a small turd on the floor. No animals in the garage, nothing else on the floor. It was too small to be a cat... never figured out how it got there. Small critter must have done a turd drive by in that few mins I had the door open the night before. (and not minded the awful fumes from the still curing polyurea top coat)
I even took a pic of the turd because I was so determined to solve the mystery but gave up. Any turd experts on here?

Not in the garage but above it. I was renovating the tenants apartment and did hardwood floors. Don't ask, but I got a steal on the flooring, at like $0.23 sq ft unfinished. So I get to the stage of putting on poly. A friend gave me 5 gal of some Masticure (SP) poly. It was some nasty **** they use for restaurants.

Yea, so I leave the windows open because I am thinking I will die from the fumes, even with the mask. I am backing out of the living and dining room. All good, floor is looking nice, throw out the mop, wash up a bit, go back to check my awesomeness. As I am standing there looking at the living room, a pigeon flies into the room, circles around like 5 times, ****s 5 times in different locations, and then falls 15' away from me and dies.

Now that was some ****. The poly turned out to be something ridiculous. I had to scrape the pigeon off, then sand the remainder out with 40grit. The **** though actually penetrated the poly and stained the wood. The guy that gave me the poly was laughing for a week straight.

06-12-2012, 03:53 PM
ha! :uglyhamme

Took a pic of the turd!

06-12-2012, 09:30 PM
I hate that stuff...lol... I am always hearing noises.... :D

06-13-2012, 12:15 AM
I hate that stuff...lol... I am always hearing noises.... :D

Me too. Although I have gotten used to many of them and have come to the realization that weird things happen and freaky supernatural weird things have happened to me.

Weird thing 1

So I'm a freshman in college dating a senior in high school. I was always told by this girls parents that they lived in a 100yo home and it was haunted. Dishes moved, doors unlocked, doors open or closing, big Victorian slide doors being shut half way etc.

One day I notice her very strange brother who is like 10 playing army with an imaginary friend in his room. He sat right in front of a double door closet and the door line was dividing the room side from the closet side. I ask who is he talking to. The girl tells me the house ghost and I laugh so her parents told me more details about their house.

Not believing a word said because I thought it was a way to scare me off, so I laugh it off. A few weeks later I was upstairs in this girls room "watching tv" and I hear this noise. I instantly assume its her crazy brother trying to bother us. I flip on the light and see a rocking chair rocking with no one in it. I put my clothes on while trying to run down the hall to the stair well. As I get to the stairs I'm fully dressed and now focused on missing every 3 steps because I am in a real hurry. I approach the last step and I am greeted my her mother standing there saying "do you believe us now?" I never answered and ran straight to the front door. As I ran out of the front door (not bothering to shut the door at all) I hit the unlock on my truck praying that there would be no freak thing causing me to get slowed down. I started my truck and put it to the floor leaving two huge scratch marks all of the way down the street. After I left, I never talked to that family ever again.

06-13-2012, 12:36 AM
Weird thing 2

So after having my friends convince me that the ghost never killed me and I was safe, we decided to go to haunted places in Texas.


Burleson - Bethesda Rd. - Apparently, a school bus full of children was driving down one day and got stuck on a road with railroad tracks , and was hit by an oncoming train , most of the children died. on most nights you can go there and drive your car on to the tracks, stop it, put in neutral ,and the children will come and push you off the tracks. To keep you out of harms way.

It works I'm dead serious. My friend and I took his camaro to a car wash where the guys detail the vehicle for like $40. So after the car wash we went to my house and waited for dark. Drove to the tracks and got out putting two big bottle of bby powder on the car. Not only did we get pushed off there were lots of little hand prints upside down showing when we stopped in the next town under some lights.

I've also tried to have other experiences off of the web site listed above without luck. I have been on many dates to some of those restaurants hoping weird things would happen but they never do.