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captkidd
07-28-2005, 12:01 PM
In honor of the Toolman being "outted", I thought it would be good if we shared our favorite Jeff Foxworthyisms:


You talk about fishing while making love.

Crash
07-28-2005, 12:09 PM
Redneck jokes are great, good idea!

You might be a redneck it your bass boat looks like this...

[IMG]

bradamerry
07-28-2005, 05:43 PM
If you go to your family reunion to meet WOMEN!!! :eek:

SteveO
07-28-2005, 06:03 PM
Your family tree doesn't have many branches.

bradamerry
07-28-2005, 06:04 PM
If the Toolman is your HERO!!

BriEOD
07-28-2005, 06:52 PM
Brad I don't know how to tell you this buddy. Please make sure you are sitting down. The Toolman, your idol, is not real. He was a figment of Rod's imagination. I know this is probably crushing to you but hang in there.

6ballsisall
07-28-2005, 11:52 PM
if you grew up playing the game "quick jump behind the tree before a shotgun gits ya" :D

betsy&david Harrison
07-28-2005, 11:54 PM
Redneck jokes are great, good idea!

You might be a redneck it your bass boat looks like this...

[IMG]
Even my kids are crack'n up on this one!

betsy&david Harrison
07-29-2005, 12:00 AM
...if your computer password is "Bubba" or maybe "Toolman" in our case. :banana:

JEREMY79
07-29-2005, 01:03 AM
How about if people call you Bubba??

stevo137
07-29-2005, 01:34 AM
Your horseshoes look like this...

stevo137
07-29-2005, 01:36 AM
Your house might look like this...

stevo137
07-29-2005, 01:43 AM
Your boat ends up like this...

Crash
07-29-2005, 01:56 AM
Now you've got it going...here's another one.

You might be a redneck if your wake"board tower" consists of a "tower of boards".

bucky
07-29-2005, 02:08 AM
Hey! My Father's called Bubba!:eek:

How about if people call you Bubba??

Mag_Red
07-29-2005, 02:46 AM
How about if people call you Bubba?? I have a cat named Bubba :D

JEREMY79
07-29-2005, 09:04 AM
Hey! My Father's called Bubba!:eek:

Thats what they call me. :rolleyes:

mbeach
07-29-2005, 10:33 PM
your wife has 2 first names. bill clinton is not because his wife has 2 last names.

Sumbeach
07-29-2005, 11:21 PM
I once had a buddy named bubba, he died in a bar fight

dem bar's got big claws

shepherd
07-30-2005, 01:06 AM
the last 4 words of the national anthem are "gentlemen start your engines!"

shepherd
07-30-2005, 01:10 AM
Now you've got it going...here's another one.

You might be a redneck if your wake"board tower" consists of a "tower of boards".

har har HAR HAR HAR HAR hee hee hee hee hee :toast:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHa

8p

haha haha ha ha hee...hee... ok I'm done...


shoot let's see that agin, gettin some idears fer my boat...

6ballsisall
07-31-2005, 11:16 AM
You might be a redneck if buff and polish your belt buckles.

Rockman
08-01-2005, 02:31 PM
...if your wife tell's the state trooper to kiss her a$s without removing the cigarette from her mouth...

JEREMY79
08-01-2005, 02:34 PM
You know that "tower" looks bad and all, but those guys found a way to get on the water cheap. And still have money for beer.

Sounds like good 'ol boys to me

propstruk
08-01-2005, 05:08 PM
Or if this is your idea of a houseboat
http://www.strangevehicles.com/images/content/6366.jpg

LakePirate
08-01-2005, 06:00 PM
You know that "tower" looks bad and all, but those guys found a way to get on the water cheap. And still have money for beer.

Sounds like good 'ol boys to me

Not only that but it adds pleanty of ballast.

6ballsisall
08-01-2005, 09:44 PM
Or if this is your idea of a houseboat
http://www.strangevehicles.com/images/content/6366.jpg

Thats just funny, what part of the world do those pics come from?

bradamerry
08-01-2005, 11:41 PM
Thats just funny, what part of the world do those pics come from?
Conway, Arkansas!!! :uglyhamme

6ballsisall
08-01-2005, 11:51 PM
Yep, looks like arkansas folk :D

betsy&david Harrison
08-02-2005, 12:48 AM
....if after 10 years of marriage you finally discover at the family reunion you married one of your relatives.

LakePirate
08-02-2005, 12:49 AM
If you consider a 6-pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment.

stevo137
08-02-2005, 12:52 AM
You had your first PBR at about age 14.

betsy&david Harrison
08-02-2005, 12:52 AM
Oooh, I might be a red neck then...love to watch them bug zappers..zzzzzzip and smoken..the drinking makes it even more interesting. Love seenen the big ones go up in smoke! :D

LakePirate
08-02-2005, 12:53 AM
You had your first PBR at about age 14.
You are cracking me up... :purplaugh :uglyhamme

LakePirate
08-02-2005, 01:13 AM
If your wife won't let you wear your racing t-shirts inside the perimeter in Atlanta.

stevo137
08-02-2005, 01:14 AM
Your kitchen looks like this after an evening trappin' run.
We even got a coon' that night and we ate quite a bit of that stuff in the cans on the stove that year...
(I was about 7-8 years old when they took this pic).

bradamerry
08-02-2005, 09:14 AM
OK you win... You are a REDNECK!!!! :worthy:

BriEOD
08-02-2005, 09:27 AM
Wow, Stevo, nice kitchen.... :D

stevo137
08-02-2005, 10:32 AM
Wow, Stevo, nice kitchen.... :D
Humble beginnings Brian...

Scot
08-02-2005, 10:42 AM
Redneck jokes are great, good idea!

You might be a redneck it your bass boat looks like this...

[IMG]

This is a fake! A redneck poser.... What gives it away? no cooler...

BriEOD
08-02-2005, 02:27 PM
Redneck Barb-q grill...

stevo137
08-02-2005, 07:36 PM
Swimmin' pool...

6ballsisall
08-03-2005, 01:15 AM
Redneck swimming pool. now thats funny!!! :uglyhamme

captkidd
08-03-2005, 03:02 PM
It's not an official redneck swimming pool unless the tires/wheels have been removed and it's sitting on blocks.

captkidd
08-04-2005, 03:35 PM
You use this phrase more than once a month:

propstruk
08-05-2005, 12:47 PM
If photos of your family's estate have ever been posted on http://www.missouritrailertrash.com/

mbeach
12-09-2005, 03:30 PM
mama always said that life was like a box of chocolates -- you never know what you are going to get. she also said that if i look at the swimsuit thread more than 10 times a day, something real bad is gona to happen. just lookie what happened to my dawgs. i calls em bubba, bubbie, and boobie cuz shez a girl and is the pertty one.

mbeach
12-12-2005, 11:38 AM
redneck hot tub

vegashomeexpert
12-12-2005, 12:08 PM
Looks like they stay in to do their business. Yuk!

roddydog
12-14-2005, 03:58 PM
If the Toolman is your HERO!!
I must have missed it............. who was the Toolman?

jmyers
12-14-2005, 04:12 PM
Looks like they stay in to do their business. Yuk!
:vomit: I can't figure it out, if it is tub "how do they keep the keg cold? And if it is a pool, there is snow on the ground! I guess you have to be a redneck to know!

atlfootr
12-20-2005, 01:49 PM
Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary , anyone else own a copy? :friday:

Ric
12-20-2005, 02:26 PM
Looks like they stay in to do their business. Yuk!
Well, how else would they keep the water warm????

LakePirate
12-20-2005, 04:22 PM
Jeff Foxworthy's Redneck Dictionary , anyone else own a copy? :friday:

Did you pick that up at the Jeff Foxworthy Store
conveniently located at the outlet mall south of Atlanta?

Leroy
12-20-2005, 04:56 PM
You have to search TOOLMAN and read some of his posts. He was exactly opposite of everyone on here, and no one knew who was playing that poster until the end!


I must have missed it............. who was the Toolman?

atlfootr
12-20-2005, 07:51 PM
Did you pick that up at the Jeff Foxworthy Store
conveniently located at the outlet mall south of Atlanta?
Actually, my wife bought it. She picked it up at a Barnes 'n Noble Store North of Atlanta.

BTW - I met Jeff F. @ the checkout line of a Toys R US near my home.
I didn't know it was him, until he turned around and faced me. :headbang:

atlfootr
12-20-2005, 08:06 PM
en e ma (en`- e - ma), n. and v. declaring one's state of being or whereabouts.
"Dang it all! My car broke down, enema good ten miles from a gas station."

Jeff Foxworthy's
Redneck Dictionary pg.44

atlfootr
12-21-2005, 11:38 AM
Whatever works ...

sizzler
12-21-2005, 11:46 AM
You have to search TOOLMAN and read some of his posts. He was exactly opposite of everyone on here, and no one knew who was playing that poster until the end!
think rod might know ;)

mbeach
12-22-2005, 09:54 AM
Looks like they stay in to do their business. Yuk!
yea, i noticed that also. no wonder there are no females in the tub with them!

erkoehler
12-22-2005, 10:04 AM
Whatever works ...

What about the video of them doing double deep up barefooting off that rig???? Been on BFC lately? ;)

mbeach
12-22-2005, 10:15 AM
redneck auto ac

BrianM
12-22-2005, 10:42 AM
Redneck Hurricane Survival Kit

Toilet Paper........................................check
Mustard........................................... ..check
Bud Light...........................................ch eck
Keystone Ice........................................check
Budweiser......................................... . check
Natural Light.......................................check
Red Dog.............................................ch eck
Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check
Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on...check

mbeach
12-22-2005, 10:46 AM
at least he was honoring the no parking sign. like this one. will send to my redneck buddies in tn.

flipper
01-02-2006, 04:02 AM
the last 4 words of the national anthem are "gentlemen start your engines!"
ya mean there not?

flipper
01-02-2006, 04:09 AM
You know, I take some of these personally. Whats wrong with meeting hotties at family events? And who cares how many dogs I have on my front porch, and who care what I find when I mow the lawn, and who cares if I walk my kid to school because we are in the same grade. So we shot a couple doves out in the parking lot after they let them loose at the Olympics, they are going to just get lost any way! Some people just don't get it.

sassydog
01-02-2006, 03:25 PM
here's a couple of my favs

SteveO
01-02-2006, 06:22 PM
You know youíre a redneck if you go to a friendís funeral and they speak about his last word's as "hey watch this"

shepherd
01-02-2006, 11:36 PM
Redneck cupholder and... redneck tiara (from Burger King)! 8p

Eagle
01-02-2006, 11:59 PM
You might be a redneck if you call roadkill "dinner".

mbeach
01-13-2006, 12:24 PM
this is your idea of a carbon life form jet ski.

shepherd
08-17-2006, 01:59 PM
... if this is your wife. :cool:

Upper Michigan Prostar190
08-17-2006, 02:08 PM
... if this is your wife. :cool:
OH my dear Lord, Please tell me I didnt just read that.....

Tap
08-17-2006, 02:40 PM
He may get better gas mileage than the X-30s...

sanjuan23
08-17-2006, 03:05 PM
... if this is your wife. :cool:


There goes Coke all over the keyboard and Monitor again!

chudson
08-17-2006, 03:25 PM
My all time fav is:

You might be a redneck if when shortly after comin out of the bathroom grandma says, "Get the tape measure this'n might be a record".

Gotta love it!!!

Mikey
08-17-2006, 03:29 PM
... you are late for school because your house had a flat.

Ric
08-17-2006, 03:36 PM
if you pick up a cutie who is working the sunglass counter down at the local sams wholesale club..... You might be a redneck

milkmania
08-17-2006, 03:41 PM
My all time fav is:

You might be a redneck if when shortly after comin out of the bathroom grandma says, "Get the tape measure this'n might be a record".

Gotta love it!!!



putting down pizza and walking/running out of roomhttp://forum.mamboserver.com/images/extrasmilies/hmpf.gif

milkmania
08-17-2006, 03:44 PM
if you pick up a cutie who is working the sunglass counter down at the local sams wholesale club..... You might be a redneck

redneck I be thenhttp://forum.mamboserver.com/images/extrasmilies/itsme.gif


where's that danged redneck smileyhttp://forum.mamboserver.com/images/extrasmilies/banghead.gif




better than having water on my back

Ric
08-17-2006, 03:45 PM
better than having water on my back That's funny right there :D

Ric
08-17-2006, 03:46 PM
redneck I be thenhttp://forum.mamboserver.com/images/extrasmilies/itsme.gif

so you did pick up the cutie?:toast:

milkmania
08-17-2006, 03:47 PM
That's funny right there :D

shooot, even comes in paperback:rolleyes:


http://i.biblio.com/b/152m/72273152-0-m.jpg

milkmania
08-17-2006, 03:49 PM
so you did pick up the cutie?:toast:

I got her number and I know where she works....

she ain't got a chance!http://forum.mamboserver.com/images/extrasmilies/date.gif

Ric
08-17-2006, 03:50 PM
I got her number and I know where she works....

she ain't got a chance!http://forum.mamboserver.com/images/extrasmilies/date.gif I won't call you a redneck til you do it! Take her to MM06

milkmania
08-17-2006, 03:52 PM
I won't call you a redneck til you do it! Take her to MM06


gotta run it by the trailer park guards:(

TMCNo1
08-17-2006, 04:13 PM
if, the school bus stops in front of your house and you take the tires off, block it up and make it your new home!

TMCNo1
08-17-2006, 04:14 PM
if, a family reunion is a full set of teeth!

TMCNo1
08-17-2006, 04:17 PM
if, you fart in a jar, put a lid on it and take it to the State Fair to try and win a Blue Ribbon.


if, you think a prop is something you use to hold your motor cover up with.

Monte
08-17-2006, 04:19 PM
Mm... Is This The Guard Tower? I May Know The Place!
12745

pq2
08-17-2006, 04:52 PM
RN computer?????

TMCNo1
08-17-2006, 06:18 PM
RN computer?????


Looks like my setup, except I have a real stuffed mouse with speaker wire tied to his tail!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
08-17-2006, 06:33 PM
Looks like mine too, except I dont have nice walls like that.

TMCNo1
08-17-2006, 09:42 PM
if, you watch, "My Name Is Earl" and can relate to his brother Randy!

bigmac
09-28-2006, 08:49 PM
If this is your wedding picture...

bigmac
09-28-2006, 08:50 PM
Or this is your wedding cake....

bigmac
09-28-2006, 08:53 PM
Or if you need fashion tips from your husband...

Maristar210
09-28-2006, 09:03 PM
BigMac,

I must say, I have never seen this side of you. You doctor types do have a sense of humor after all don't you:D :D :D

bigmac
09-28-2006, 09:49 PM
BigMac,

I must say, I have never seen this side of you. You doctor types do have a sense of humor after all don't you:D :D :DI wouldn't want it widely known. I took an oath...;)

Here's some redneck barefootin'......

Maristar210
09-28-2006, 11:49 PM
Hey that looks like fun. Can I get a pull???

It's gonna be a long winter Bigmac......


Steve

shepherd
01-22-2007, 12:11 PM
Redneck amusement park:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8959221252413764426&q=human+slingshot&hl=en

TMCNo1
01-22-2007, 12:35 PM
OMG, that's funny! Only in America!

chudson
01-22-2007, 12:53 PM
That was so nice I watched it twice!!! I have done the big swing ride at Kings Island in Cincy with my son and his friend and that will almost make you wish you'da wore your depends that day, looks sorta similar!!!

Bruce
01-22-2007, 06:20 PM
I live next door to a rich redneck. He has TWO cars jacked up in the yard!

TMCNo1
01-22-2007, 07:54 PM
Redneck Dictionary, "Steroid"


Yep, that's Roy's bungee cord rig and Billy Bob's 4 whailer!
Recon what kind of steroid used to get her down frum up thar?

Chief
01-22-2007, 07:58 PM
I wouldn't want it widely known. I took an oath...;)

Here's some redneck barefootin'......

That has to be glamis!

Rich_G
01-22-2007, 10:45 PM
when yur done fishin'

milkmania
01-22-2007, 11:17 PM
Redneck amusement park:


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8959221252413764426&q=human+slingshot&hl=en



I want to see a vertical launch:popcorn:

shepherd
06-13-2007, 12:17 AM
You might be a redneck if....

You have a big number "3" and a "Goodwrench" decal on the side of your black ski boat.

C'mon, you guys saw this coming... :cool:

TMCNo1
06-13-2007, 12:29 AM
Another one you should have seen coming,

You might be a Redneck if,
Your posts read like the text message of a 8 year old bubblegummer that is getting an "F" in English.

tex
06-13-2007, 12:35 AM
You might be a redneck if....

You have a big number "3" and a "Goodwrench" decal on the side of your black ski boat.

C'mon, you guys saw this coming... :cool:
That would make you a redneck with a big monthly payment!

ProTour X9
06-13-2007, 10:10 PM
If your windchimes consist of beer cans :D my uncle, TRULY

welcome to michigan folks!!

ProTour X9
06-13-2007, 10:14 PM
You might be a redneck if you call roadkill "dinner".


nononono Fast food is hitting a deer at 55mph

Monte
06-13-2007, 10:15 PM
You might be a redneck if....

You have a big number "3" and a "Goodwrench" decal on the side of your black ski boat.

C'mon, you guys saw this coming... :cool:

Darnit shep! there went my idea:mad: :mad:







YUP pretty RED:rolleyes:

TMCNo1
06-13-2007, 10:23 PM
You might be a Redneck if................

Your depth finder is your grandma's bra with a rock tied on one end!:rolleyes: :D

mbeach
03-13-2008, 09:20 PM
redneck tank top. look close

TMCNo1
03-19-2008, 08:09 PM
If you search and find links about Rednecks and start threads about Rednecks, http://www.tmcowners.com/teamtalk/showthread.php?t=22181

shepherd
05-18-2009, 09:09 AM
Redneck Fire Alarm

jdl xstar
05-19-2009, 10:57 AM
Redneck lotto winner...

47586

jdl xstar
05-19-2011, 10:42 AM
Old thread... made me laugh!

rjracin240
05-19-2011, 01:41 PM
Heard about this good Ol Boy/Redneck who worked at the local Jacksonville Zoo, turns out the Director got a new Endangered Species ape. After a couple of weekes the ape started acting bizarre, the vet was called by the director and then was told that the ape was in heat and needed a mate. The director called all the Zoo's he knew of with no luck in finding a mate, the Director was not going to accept defeat so he recalled ol Bobby Gene's reputation with the Ladies of all sizes from Middleburg. Bobby Gene got summoned to the directors office and was asked if he would take care of the ape for $500 dollars, Bobby Gene said he would need to think about it and would have to get back with the director the next day. The next day when the director and Bobby Gene had their meeting Bobby Gene said he would do it but he had 5 conditions:
1) All the Children would be named after his kin folk
2) The ape would have to wear a T-Shirt proclaiming the great #3 Dale Earnhardt For-Ever
3) All the Children would be raised Southern Baptist
4) NO ONE could tell anybody about what he did
5) They would have to wait till next week before he had the $500

Needless to say the director be quick thinking told Bobby Gene not to worry about the $500

TxsRiverRat
05-23-2011, 06:46 PM
You might be a redneck if you thought Hee Haw was a documentary