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bigmac
11-01-2009, 10:46 AM
DEMOCRAT
-You have two cows.
-Your neighbor has none.
-You feel guilty for being successful.
-Barbara Streisand sings for you. Life is good.

REPUBLICAN
-You have two cows.
-Your neighbor has none.
-So?

SOCIALIST
-You have two cows.
-The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
-You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
-You have two cows.
-The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
-You wait in line for hours to get it.
-It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
-You have two cows.
-You sell one, buy a bull, and create a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
-You have two cows.
-The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a
man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your
government..

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
-You have two cows.
-The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for
the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
-You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
surprised when one cow drops dead.
-You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and
are reducing expenses.
-Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You go on strike because you want three cows.
-You go to lunch and drink wine.
-Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
-They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
-Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
-Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
-While ambling around looking for them, you see a beautiful woman.
-You break for lunch.
-Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
-You have two cows.
-You have some vodka.
-You count them and learn you have five cows.
-You have some more vodka.
-You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
-The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
-You have a black cow and a brown cow.
-Every one votes for the best looking one.
-Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
-Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither.
-Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
-Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
-You have millions of cows.
-Most are illegal's.
-Arnold likes the ones with the big boobs

wakesurfer
11-01-2009, 10:09 PM
Thanks that is really good!!! Intelligent and correct , take it from someone who has lived all around the world, you are correct!

JimN
11-01-2009, 11:54 PM
I'm sending my cows to Japan so they can be at the top of their class.

M-Funf
11-02-2009, 12:51 AM
bigmac,

Very nice. This I will forward to all of my liberal "friends"...

wakesurfer
11-03-2009, 06:36 PM
I have eliminated all my liberal friends, they cant keep up with my machine gun mouthed discussions about the abuse that the liberals and dems are putting our culture, language and borders through, btw that is what is important: Culture, Language, and Borders if we can protect those three things in America we can slow the destruction of our country.