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bradamerry
06-06-2005, 05:18 PM
Rules of a Southerner's Mind


In an effort to help outsiders understand the rules of the Southerner's mind,
the following list will be handed to each person as they enter a Southern State.
(These actually should be the rules in all states.)



1. That farm boy you see at the gas station did more work before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lincoln Navigator. Drive it or get it out of the way!

3. The red dirt -- it's called clay. Red clay. If you like the color, don't wash your car for a couple weeks -- it'll be permanent.

4. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah, we saw that Bambi movie, too. We got over it.

5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis fly rod. Don't cry to us if a flathead breaks it off at the handle...we have a name for those little 13-inch trout you fish for: bait.

6. Pull your pants up! You look like an idiot.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their final approach, we will shoot it. You might want to ensure it's not up to your ear at the time.

8. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.

9. Tea -- yeah, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and it's sweet. You want it hot? Set it in the sun. You want it unsweetened? Add a lot of water.

10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice!

11. You have a sixty-thousand-dollar car. We're real impressed. We have a quarter of a million-dollar combine that we only use two weeks a year.

12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

13. We eat dinner together with our families. We pray before we eat--yeah, even breakfast. We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, and we go to high school football games on Friday nights. We still address our seniors with "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am," and we sometimes still take Sunday drives around town to see friends and neighbors.

14. We don't do "hurry up" well.

15. Greens -- yeah, we have greens, but you don't putt on them. You boil them with salty fatback, bacon or a smoked hog jowl.

16. Yeah, we eat catfish, bass, bream, and carp. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available down at the bait shop.

17. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like it? Interstate 75 goes two ways. Interstate 40 goes the other two. Pick one.

18. Grits are corn. You put butter, salt, and maybe even some pepper on them. If you want to put milk and sugar on them, then you want cream of wheat -- go to Kansas. That would be I-40 West.

19. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season or dove season. Both are holidays. You can get pancakes, cane syrup, and sausage before daylight at the church on either day.

20. So every person in every pickup truck waves? Yeah, it's called being friendly. Understand the concept?

21. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit in the water hazards. It spooks the fish and bothers the gators --and, if you hit it in the
rough, we have these things called diamondbacks, and they're not baseball players.

22. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot --his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.

23. We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your darn Navigator under them, and they'll leave a souvenir on your hood.

24. You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions.

The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.

American by Birth, Southern by the Grace of God.

tex
06-06-2005, 05:27 PM
Greatness! I got $2.50 in my pocket!

bradamerry
06-06-2005, 05:31 PM
Greatness! I got $2.50 in my pocket!
25. If you are meeting or greeting my mother and you are a grown man with a hat on your head, take it off.. Or it might get knocked off!!!!

EFiles
06-06-2005, 05:46 PM
In Dixieland where I was born, early on a frosty morn'........... :headbang:

JEREMY79
06-06-2005, 06:33 PM
Dont wear a hat at the table
Wear a shirt at the table
Get up early, Go to bed early
You eat biscuits with everything

rem_p
06-07-2005, 12:34 AM
Dont wear a hat at the table
Wear a shirt at the table
Get up early, Go to bed early
You eat biscuits with everything

how true all this is

dont wear shoes in the summer time....this prevents tenderfootedness

Leroy
06-07-2005, 01:36 AM
Very well put!

jayocheskey
06-07-2005, 03:38 AM
Some of our rules are foreign language to others. For all who don't know -- this ain't no joke!

jayocheskey
06-07-2005, 03:40 AM
One more rule of thumb:

3 things you can't talk about.
1. A man's pick-up
2. A man's dog
3. A man's mom

sizzler
06-07-2005, 03:41 AM
Some of our rules are foreign language to others. For all who don't know -- this ain't no joke!

what?????get outta here.... :cool:

jayocheskey
06-07-2005, 03:45 AM
what?????get outta here.... :cool:

Shut it, England!

sizzler
06-07-2005, 06:55 AM
you wouldn't want me comin' over there :mad:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 09:34 AM
dont make me hop across that pond . :rant:

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 09:35 AM
dont make me hop across that pond . :rant:
You guys had better let the siz alone... He just added to the LIST!!!!! :worthy:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 09:50 AM
Well then, Enjoy dude.

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 09:52 AM
Well then, Enjoy dude.
No, he sent me stuff, so you could get stuff..... Good day. :popcorn:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 09:53 AM
Oh well then thanks I'll check it out.

MarkP
06-07-2005, 09:58 AM
Dont wear a hat at the table
Wear a shirt at the table
Get up early, Go to bed early
You eat biscuits with everything

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!:uglyhamme

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 09:59 AM
What are you implying Mark

MarkP
06-07-2005, 10:08 AM
What are you implying Mark
It was just the first time I looked in on this thread. (was afraid it was an exclusive thing). Found that one post interesting. I知 looking forward to venturing into the south and skiing/wakeboarding with you. Good thing I looked in to get the rules..

HeLL, I can do that. All of it. Well, except the navigator thing as my navigator sits in the passenger seat..

LakePirate
06-07-2005, 11:43 AM
I got this yesterday and though it fit the spirit of this thread

>>
A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in GA one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man ready
to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't
jump, think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."

He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."

He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''

She replied...
''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb *** Yankee."

Leroy
06-07-2005, 11:49 AM
Funny Lakepirate!

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 12:23 PM
It was just the first time I looked in on this thread. (was afraid it was an exclusive thing). Found that one post interesting. I知 looking forward to venturing into the south and skiing/wakeboarding with you. Good thing I looked in to get the rules..

HeLL, I can do that. All of it. Well, except the navigator thing as my navigator sits in the passenger seat..



You can do it its not that hard. In a nutshell As southerners (back me up on this guys) Respect your edlers and mind you manners. Yes ma'am and No sir. Work hard, Play when you can. Respect the men in uniform.

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 12:26 PM
You can do it its not that hard. In a nutshell As southerners (back me up on this guys) Respect your edlers and mind you manners. Yes ma'am and No sir. Work hard, Play when you can. Respect the men in uniform.
I agree...

My father told me something one time that would help a lot of folks....


" ;) If you would shut up and listen, you might learn something!"

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 12:34 PM
I agree.
"Always help someone that in trouble if you can"

sizzler
06-07-2005, 12:35 PM
"think twice,,,,,,speak once"...best lesson i ever learned

tex
06-07-2005, 12:44 PM
I have this habit and it drives my wife crazy.(she is a native Texan too). Whenever I am in a store, I always call the person by their name. My wife laughs at me but I just feel it is respectful. Plus-they remember you when you come back! Anyone else?

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 01:01 PM
My dad always taught me to call every one by their name. It also helps you get more acomplished

Leroy
06-07-2005, 01:24 PM
You might want to work on a southern accent in case you get stranded on the road.




It was just the first time I looked in on this thread. (was afraid it was an exclusive thing). Found that one post interesting. I知 looking forward to venturing into the south and skiing/wakeboarding with you. Good thing I looked in to get the rules..

HeLL, I can do that. All of it. Well, except the navigator thing as my navigator sits in the passenger seat..

Leroy
06-07-2005, 01:41 PM
The locals in East TN laugh at me now when I go home as I "talk funny" now!

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 02:24 PM
if you dont live inside the line you talk funny :D
I'm sure I talk funny to some of you.
Just kidding on the line thing

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 03:11 PM
if you dont live inside the line you talk funny :D
I'm sure I talk funny to some of you.
Just kidding on the line thing
He!! Jeremy, I don't live inside the line, nor does the Tool and Dooker????? :confused:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 03:15 PM
Yeah I know. I have never been anywhere that someone didnt tell me I talked funny. You have a southern accent though

bcampbe7
06-07-2005, 03:16 PM
He!! Jeremy, I don't live inside the line, nor does the Tool and Dooker????? :confused:


How do you know where the tool and dooker live?!?

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 03:18 PM
Their profile says Conway Arkansas.... :rolleyes:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 03:19 PM
isnt that right up from you???
another hint :confused:

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 03:21 PM
about 4 1/2 hrs. north

jayocheskey
06-07-2005, 03:47 PM
Anybody else from Texas ever have someone ask you if you ride horses everywhere? Are these people for real? I don't ride a horse, but I sure do 'ride' my pick-up everywhere.

LakePirate
06-07-2005, 04:45 PM
You know we all still drive tractors all day (I wish) and eat dirt.

rem_p
06-07-2005, 04:54 PM
I have this habit and it drives my wife crazy.(she is a native Texan too). Whenever I am in a store, I always call the person by their name. My wife laughs at me but I just feel it is respectful. Plus-they remember you when you come back! Anyone else?


yea but i really only go in those local country stores where i know the owner anyway...so what if gas is a few cents more, and the other things at the store are usually higher at these places...your helpin somebody make a livin.....and these are the folks that help you out in life.

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 04:58 PM
You know we all still drive tractors all day (I wish) and eat dirt.

At least your not in Kentucky. Most people think we dont wear shoes (ever) and mary our sister. Sometimes people just pi@s me off.
But anyway.

rem_p
06-07-2005, 05:01 PM
another thing i noticed....down in the south its kind of a given rule.....you see a funeral procession you pull over and stop the car...no matter where your at....we were up in ohio once when i was younger and we seen a funeral coming so pops pulled the car over...and damn if we didnt bout get run over.....do folks up north not stop and pull to the side or what? just curious :wavey:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 05:27 PM
You best stop in Ky

MarkP
06-07-2005, 08:09 PM
I知 going to have nightmares about this thread.

Now that I stopped in once, I cant look away:eek:

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 08:26 PM
I知 going to have nightmares about this thread.

Now that I stopped in once, I cant look away:eek:



Oh come on. We will welcome you to the South, as long as you obey our rules. :purplaugh

bradamerry
06-07-2005, 08:43 PM
Mark you can make it down here.... Just watch me and the :D Tool...

JEREMY79
06-07-2005, 11:00 PM
I just went to the storage shed to look at the boat. WHere I keep my equipment hanging ( wakeboards, ropes, skis,ect,) there was a snake climibing through the supports. I decieded to shoot him :D (i HATE snakes) I think I may have shot my wakeboard :( Too scared of them to go look in the dark to tell.

Bring on the redneck jokes

USC8791
06-07-2005, 11:31 PM
if you dont live inside the line you talk funny :D
I'm sure I talk funny to some of you.
Just kidding on the line thing


As Lewis Grizzard said (refering to Southerners), "God talks like we do!"

LakePirate
06-07-2005, 11:38 PM
God Bless Lewis Grizzard and his dog Catfish

LakePirate
06-07-2005, 11:39 PM
I just went to the storage shed to look at the boat. WHere I keep my equipment hanging ( wakeboards, ropes, skis,ect,) there was a snake climibing through the supports. I decieded to shoot him :D (i HATE snakes) I think I may have shot my wakeboard :( Too scared of them to go look in the dark to tell.

Bring on the redneck jokes

The only real question I have is which gun did you use to shoot it?

USC8791
06-07-2005, 11:41 PM
For those of you north of the Mason-Dixon Line unfamiliar with Lewis Grizzard. He was a great Southern humorist who had a long career as an author, mainly as a newspaper columnist. If you wish to have a better understanding of the South, you may want to check out a few of his books:

Elvis is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself
You Can't Put No Boogie Woogie on The King of Rock 'n Roll
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low
Don't Sit Under The Grits Tree With Anyone But Me
Don't Bend Over in The Garden Granny, Them Taters Got Eyes

To name a few.

6ballsisall
06-07-2005, 11:41 PM
At least your not in Kentucky. Most people think we dont wear shoes (ever) and mary our sister. Sometimes people just pi@s me off.
But anyway.

They Don't??? :D :D

J/K!!

Stritt
06-07-2005, 11:52 PM
ok....i'm laughing now about shooting the snake in the barn. Jeremy are you all still a dry county in glasgow? I know back when i would drive through on the way to the hollow, i would have spent more money than food and gas.....Have a family friend that has a chevy dealership down the road from you in Scottsville....Larry Garrett....Garrett/Mandrel..maybe you know them.

Btw..I have MO as part of my territory...that line needs to be extended from middle MO south.

JEREMY79
06-08-2005, 08:58 AM
The only real question I have is which gun did you use to shoot it?

The only one I had. My little sawed off double barrel that stays in the truck. I will go see what all it tore up this morning. Dam them snakes.

Yeah Glasgow is still dry :( I know Scottsville well. I am located inbetween Glasgow and Scottsville. I know exactly where the dealership is. Do you get through here much?
JA

MarkP
06-08-2005, 09:05 AM
LMAO,

Dude, you do know snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them.

WELL, maybe not this one if you missed him.:uglyhamme .

sizzler
06-08-2005, 09:08 AM
Anybody else from Texas ever have someone ask you if you ride horses everywhere? Are these people for real? I don't ride a horse, but I sure do 'ride' my pick-up everywhere.

you've just shattered all my illusions of you texans....damn,damn and damn

was marshall mccloud (denis weaver) from texas?????

BriEOD
06-08-2005, 11:49 AM
It was just the first time I looked in on this thread. (was afraid it was an exclusive thing). Found that one post interesting. I知 looking forward to venturing into the south and skiing/wakeboarding with you. Good thing I looked in to get the rules..

HeLL, I can do that. All of it. Well, except the navigator thing as my navigator sits in the passenger seat..



MAKE SURE, before you come south you get a #8 and a #3 sticker for the rear of your truck. We wouldn't want any of them local sheriff boys taking advantage of you!

sizzler
06-08-2005, 12:03 PM
i'm english ...please explain

tex
06-08-2005, 12:07 PM
i'm english ...please explain
The NASCAR NATION!

sizzler
06-08-2005, 12:09 PM
thx tex :D

MarkP
06-08-2005, 12:12 PM
MAKE SURE, before you come south you get a #8 and a #3 sticker for the rear of your truck. We wouldn't want any of them local sheriff boys taking advantage of you!I'm on it.. Thanks;)

BriEOD
06-08-2005, 12:15 PM
i'm english ...please explain

NASCAR: #3 the late Dale Earnhardt and #8 Dale Earnhardt Jr. I'm serious when I say this, but you can't go a mile here in SC without seeing a 3 and/or an 8. :noface:

bradamerry
06-08-2005, 12:17 PM
NASCAR: #3 the late Dale Earnhardt and #8 Dale Earnhardt Jr. I'm serious when I say this, but you can't go a mile here in SC without seeing a 3 and/or an 8. :noface:
Look for the 2, he is the man..... #2 --7th in points, #8 -- 22nd in points? :D

tex
06-08-2005, 12:19 PM
NASCAR: #3 the late Dale Earnhardt and #8 Dale Earnhardt Jr. I'm serious when I say this, but you can't go a mile here in SC without seeing a 3 and/or an 8. :noface:
Same here in Texas. Quietly over 1000 and moving on!

bradamerry
06-08-2005, 12:22 PM
Same here in Texas. Quietly over 1000 and moving on!
Thanks for not making a new thread everytime you got another 100 post!!!!!! Someone did that??? :mad:

tex
06-08-2005, 12:25 PM
Thanks for not making a new thread everytime you got another 100 post!!!!!! Someone did that??? :mad:
Imagine how many threads you and doug would have if you subscribed to that theory!

bradamerry
06-08-2005, 12:27 PM
Imagine how many threads you and doug would have if you subscribed to that theory!
Not likely to happen from me... I just passed 2500, with not a word!!! ;)

BriEOD
06-08-2005, 01:11 PM
Don't quote me on this and I'm not trying to stir the pot. However, given the amount of time Doug has been on TT compared to MarkP I bet it's pretty close if not in Mark's favor that Mark has a higher rate of posting per time he's been on TT. Currently Doug is 1869 ahead of Mark but he has been on TT a good 18-24 months longer then Mark. For what it's worth. :rolleyes:

Leroy
06-08-2005, 01:21 PM
I almost wish there was no post count shown, it's just a distraction. :twocents:

JEREMY79
06-08-2005, 01:31 PM
LMAO,

Dude, you do know snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them.

WELL, maybe not this one if you missed him.:uglyhamme .



I didnt miss. I found him this morning. Without the front part of him ( i removed that for him) he was 3 feet 8 inches long. I dont know how much of him was gone. That part is scattered all over the shed.
Hes bird food now. :D :D

tex
06-08-2005, 01:40 PM
I didnt miss. I found him this morning. Without the front part of him ( i removed that for him) he was 3 feet 8 inches long. I dont know how much of him was gone. That part is scattered all over the shed.
Hes bird food now. :D :D
how's your wakeboard? i would rather see an occasional post count remark over idiots ranting and raving about spelling and grammer!

JEREMY79
06-08-2005, 01:57 PM
Well a couple of pieces of shot hit one of the fins, but I think that is all the damage. I will trade an $18.00 set of fins to kill a snake anyday

Whats with the spelling and grammar. I know mines not good.

furevo
06-08-2005, 02:29 PM
I didnt miss. I found him this morning. Without the front part of him ( i removed that for him) he was 3 feet 8 inches long. I dont know how much of him was gone. That part is scattered all over the shed.
Hes bird food now. :D :D

Didn't save him for a hatband?

J/K

MarkP
06-08-2005, 02:32 PM
I didnt miss. I found him this morning. Without the front part of him ( i removed that for him) he was 3 feet 8 inches long. I dont know how much of him was gone. That part is scattered all over the shed.
Hes bird food now. :D :D
Well congratulations, I think.:worthy: . What kind of snake did you kill?

LakePirate
06-08-2005, 02:35 PM
A deadly snake. They are all deadly snakes. They will either kill me or I will kill myself running away from it.

DYK that Georgia is home to every poisionious snake native to north america?
Fun Fun

Leroy
06-08-2005, 02:38 PM
My mom kills every snake she sees, normally with a hoe or shovel! Snakes are good around the farm and barn but I'm also scared of them.

BriEOD
06-08-2005, 02:47 PM
My mom kills every snake she sees, normally with a hoe or shovel! Snakes are good around the farm and barn but I'm also scared of them.

Hey what are all you yankees doing on the Southern thread!! ;) Where's the Toolman and Dooker?

Ric
06-08-2005, 02:49 PM
how's your wakeboard? i would rather see an occasional post count remark over idiots ranting and raving about spelling and grammer!
you are gonna get banned typing "idiots" on here tex

tex
06-08-2005, 03:02 PM
you are gonna get banned typing "idiots" on here tex
Sorry-that was not a direct attack at anyone. please forgive me if any moron was offended!

bradamerry
06-08-2005, 03:03 PM
Two rednecks, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Bubba.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-whacker?"

"I sure do," answered the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "AMAZIN'!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why, that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of! I cain't wait to take this here logic class."

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So, what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history and logic," replies Bubba.

Cooter says, "What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

"No."

"You're a queer, ain't ya?"

BriEOD
06-08-2005, 03:12 PM
:purplaugh
"You're a queer, ain't ya?"

To funny...!

captkidd
06-08-2005, 03:15 PM
you've just shattered all my illusions of you texans....damn,damn and damn

was marshall mccloud (denis weaver) from texas?????

If memory serves me correctly, Marshall McCloud was from Taos, NM.

I killed a snake in my garden yesterday. It was a monster, at least 6 inches long. Used a hoe, just to make it a fair fight.

LakePirate
06-08-2005, 03:27 PM
I have always loved the logic joke

JEREMY79
06-08-2005, 03:40 PM
Well congratulations, I think.:worthy: . What kind of snake did you kill?



Dont matter there is only one good kind of snake.....A DEAD ONE.
Barn, house, shop, lake, anywhere I see one they are dead!!!!!

Leroy
06-08-2005, 04:39 PM
Hey, growing up in East TN I consider myself southern still.

From the likely locations I don't think Toolman and Dooker are southern, just good old boys! I even saw a couple of good ole boys last night fly fishing near Tahoe that made me think of Tool and Dook.

Hey what are all you yankees doing on the Southern thread!! ;) Where's the Toolman and Dooker?

tex
06-08-2005, 04:48 PM
Hey, growing up in East TN I consider myself southern still.

From the likely locations I don't think Toolman and Dooker are southern, just good old boys! I even saw a couple of good ole boys last night fly fishing near Tahoe that made me think of Tool and Dook.
Dooker and Tool use a flyswater to fly fish-or so i'm told.

Leroy
06-08-2005, 04:56 PM
My good ole boys offered dynamite!



Dooker and Tool use a flyswater to fly fish-or so i'm told.

rem_p
06-08-2005, 05:42 PM
My mom kills every snake she sees, normally with a hoe or shovel! Snakes are good around the farm and barn but I'm also scared of them.


yall must not raise chickens....i was out in the barn one day gettin eggs out of the layin boxes....next to last one i was checking i reached up in there and pulled out about a 6 and a half foot chicken snake(grey rat snake)....then i went ahead and proceeded to choppin off his head......he had swallowed 2 eggs.....but talk about being scared i didnt know what i had done got at first........so now im like jeremy...i kill em all :banana:

LakePirate
06-08-2005, 06:39 PM
I just thought of one to get us back on track

You gotta dance with the one who brung ya.

sizzler
06-09-2005, 04:52 AM
[QUOTE=captkidd]If memory serves me correctly, Marshall McCloud was from Taos, NM.

thanks captkidd.. :worthy:

on the subject of snakes....we have only adders and vipers ..both harmless ...........oh and the one-eyed trouser variety...very deadly in the wrong hands :D

JEREMY79
06-09-2005, 08:49 AM
..both harmless ...........

Let me clear that up. DONT MATTER. Kill it anyway. Its still a snake.

LakePirate
06-09-2005, 10:30 AM
Let me clear that up. DONT MATTER. Kill it anyway. Its still a snake.

Amen brother.

Leroy
06-09-2005, 10:39 AM
Yes we had all farm animals, dealt with all kinds of vermit, snakes, opossums, foxes, neighbor's dogs, our beagles sucking eggs.

Get your eggs back? ;)

yall must not raise chickens....i was out in the barn one day gettin eggs out of the layin boxes....next to last one i was checking i reached up in there and pulled out about a 6 and a half foot chicken snake(grey rat snake)....then i went ahead and proceeded to choppin off his head......he had swallowed 2 eggs.....but talk about being scared i didnt know what i had done got at first........so now im like jeremy...i kill em all :banana:

JEREMY79
06-09-2005, 10:49 AM
acutally the worst varmint around here is not snakes but coyotes and wild dogs. Eat a calf the minute it hits the ground :mad:

tex
06-09-2005, 12:56 PM
Some random Texas things
A tornado warning siren is your signal to go outside and look up.

You have used both A/C and Heat in your car on the same day.

Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

You measure distance in minutes.

It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who died in a plane crash.

You planned your wedding date around football season.

Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

You can get bait, movies, and ammuntition at the same store.

A Benz is not a status symbol-A Ford F350 4x4 is.

You understand that Dr. Pepper is a coke.

JEREMY79
06-09-2005, 01:06 PM
Southern Stuff

Poke--- Is a sack
Pole Cat--- Skunk
Coke--- Any thing carbonated
Old Man So & So--- Owns Everything
Critter--- anything living that you dont want
Stud--- Male Horse with ba!!s

I'll get more later

LakePirate
06-09-2005, 01:13 PM
You have used both A/C and Heat in your car on the same day.


You planned your wedding date around football season.



Both of these are true.
In fact I planned the wedding date around football season

Old man so and so does own everything

and when you go to the grocery store you get a buggie.

bradamerry
06-09-2005, 03:03 PM
Both of these are true.
In fact I planned the wedding date around football season

Old man so and so does own everything

and when you go to the grocery store you get a buggie.
My family almost killed me, I got married on opening day of deer season :confused: ... We really had people show up in Camo for the wedding....

LakePirate
06-09-2005, 03:11 PM
My family almost killed me, I got married on opening day of deer season :confused: ... We really had people show up in Camo for the wedding....

It must have been an afternoon wedding. Cause them boys are not getting out of the trees for a wedding.

So how many trucks at the wedding had deer in the back of them?

Leroy
06-09-2005, 03:28 PM
Formal camo! Too funny.



My family almost killed me, I got married on opening day of deer season :confused: ... We really had people show up in Camo for the wedding....

LakePirate
06-09-2005, 03:35 PM
Dooker and the Toolman

bradamerry
06-09-2005, 04:06 PM
It must have been an afternoon wedding. Cause them boys are not getting out of the trees for a wedding.

So how many trucks at the wedding had deer in the back of them?
Mine did, wasn't worried about anybody else... :toast:

LakePirate
06-09-2005, 04:07 PM
I guess that was a good way to not think about getting married. :D

bradamerry
06-09-2005, 04:15 PM
I guess that was a good way to not think about getting married. :D
But I wanted to get married.... GREEEEEEEEEEEAT Gal!!!! :woohoo:

LakePirate
06-09-2005, 04:17 PM
Not saying you didn't want to....just something you ponder.

bradamerry
06-09-2005, 04:19 PM
Not I, I was ready...... I needed to slow down before I killed myself... :eek:

rem_p
06-09-2005, 05:41 PM
Yes we had all farm animals, dealt with all kinds of vermit, snakes, opossums, foxes, neighbor's dogs, our beagles sucking eggs.

Get your eggs back? ;)


after the head was chopped off daddy held it up by the tell and tried to shake the eggs out just for the hell of it....but they was stuck up in there....

rem_p
06-09-2005, 05:50 PM
got this in an email today....fits the topic so i thought i'd share

Subject: Good Ole Alabama!

Things I've learned about being from Alabama!
1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Alabama
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. Squirrels will eat anything.
5. Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
6. Crows will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
7. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
8. Onced and twiced are words.
9. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
10. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
11. People actually grow and eat okra.
12. Fixinto is one word.
13. There is no such thing as "lunch". There is only dinner and then there is supper.
14. Ice tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!
15. Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you."
16. Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
17. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you' re done or it's too dark to see.
You know you're from Alabama if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable,
grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what "War Eagle" is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
9. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and catsup.
10. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but
require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
11. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
12. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".
13. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as"goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World" or Wal-Martss or Redneck Disney World.
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Alabama
(and those who just wish they were).


Not EVERYONE can be born in Alabama! it's a gift from God!