View Full Version : Havasu - the people you meet (sorta long)

06-28-2009, 10:12 AM
Just a (I think) funny one about our day out Friday. NOT GRIPING! I know it's sorta what you sign up for when you come to the Zoo and a little drama makes for the best stories later in life.

Really busy, so we pull into a little cove on the south side of the lake just north of Cattail where we find just about the only 2 slips next to eachother near a beach. Anchor my Mastercraft and buddy's MB. We got my 2 kids, my wife who is 9-months pregnant, and my buddy's wife and 3 kids.

There's just barely a boat's width between my MC and a big Magic anchored right next to me. On the other side is a 27-foot 'Toon owned by a cool LA County fireman, his wife, and 3 kids. We're having a good time watching the kids play and talking. See a couple '80s Miami Vice-era surf skiis driven by two dirt bags of the 10th magnitude trolling around looking. They must've been spotting for beach space 'cause 5 minutes later along comes a little speed boat loaded to the gills with the Arizona version of the cast of Deliverance. They come in at Idle and beach right between me and the Magic. Just barely enough room to put a person between the hulls. Dudes hop out and stand at the back of the boat to keep the hulls from hitting. Human docking bumpers.

Jailhouse tats, bandanas, and facial scrub on the guys. Not enough fabric on the women (not in a good way, either). Kid you not guys - within 45 seconds of them pulling in, up goes the gangsta rap dropping an F-bomb every 3 seconds or so, out comes the beer bong and Clove cigs, and over comes "party mama" to our camp.

She was waaaay energetic, if you catch my drift. No hyperbole when I say within 60 seconds we had learned the following about her:
1- She loves kids and wants to have more but can't because her uterus is messed up (yuck)
2- She breast fed her last child until she was 5
3- She passed out once and woke up to her 5-year old girl trying to nurse on her
4- "I had my first child when I was 17 and he's 17 now. That's him over there with my husband" - points to a tatted Jesse James wannabe holding a beer bong to the mouth of one of the young kids driving the surf skiis.
5- blah, blah, something about her son doing steroids to get buff....I stopped listening

Then she introduces herself to each of our kids, gets their names wrong, and then starts pawing my wife's belly to feel the baby. My wife just looks shocked and Party Mama asks, "oh, sorry, is this uncomfortable for you?" My Wife: "Yes, please stop." She continues anyway...

Then she asks my buddy's wife to hold their new baby girl. For some unfathomable reason she says yes and then Party Mama starts peppering her with kisses (the baby, not my buddy's wife!) Buddy's wife is a total germ freak and looses it. Party Mama says, "Oh, sorry, should've asked - I don't have any vurnurial (how she said it) diseases or AIDs or anything." Buddy's wife subsequently walks the entire beach for 30-minutes in search of soap to scour the little kid with.

They party for an hour or so right in family-central, casting fishing lines right near where our kids are swimming, dropping cans and cuss words, and wearing out their welcome before we and a couple others toss 'em out. Before leaving they walk over to my swim deck and right under it pour out a full container of dead fish they were using as bait, so I gotta step on 'em as I load my boat up to leave.

Yesterday was much better, though. Came up on a beach full of topless Cougars playing horseshoes. They ducked and covered before we could get the cameras up. Funny out here. I guess just another day at Havasu.

06-28-2009, 10:48 AM
I guess just another day at Havasu.