View Full Version : Bad day at the office!

07-22-2004, 06:13 PM
Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy. Rob is a commercial
saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater
repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won:

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had
a bad day
at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I
would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad
after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
with a few
technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial
water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the
sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several
times with no
complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working,
is take the
hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole
with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was
going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I
scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt
started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had
sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have
any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However,
the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding
jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor
of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to
the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my dry chamber decompression. When
I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I
climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his
face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as
I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because
my butt
was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat
to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"

07-22-2004, 06:25 PM
:eek: not even funny. He better get some workman's comp for that.

07-22-2004, 06:28 PM
Hell I will say it out loud, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job"

07-22-2004, 06:29 PM
Yeah, that would suck and not much you could do about it. :eek3:

07-22-2004, 07:31 PM
:worthy: I bet you do Mark!!!!