PDA

View Full Version : Daughter got caught


phecksel
03-03-2008, 11:47 AM
Sometimes :confused: :(

She has permission to go to her b/f's, her slightly younger sister is with her and the b/f mom is home. Home by 8:00, already lost her one and only chance to be late or lose the car. Phone rings at 8:00, she want's to talk to mom... warning bells are going off in my head, LOL. She's not talking to mom, she's going to deal with me. Car died near her b/f house... so she says. We finally figure out where she is, and I grab a can of gas, flashlights, jumper cables and we go find her. Bottom line, the F* Ford Focus ignition switch broke, nothing to do with her.

BUT, she's at somebody elses house, and someone has been smoking in the car. Whoops, LOL. And it wasn't her smoking, she gave a ride to someone who does smoke, two rules busted right there. karma really bit her hard on this one! We still haven't figured out how bad it's going to be, but her cell phone is cut off from everybody except immediate family and 911. Car's in the shop, and she for sure is walking to school until next Monday. Even after she gets it back, the wings are going to be cut very very short.

The ugliest part of this whole deal was watching them DRAG the car onto the flat bed, and literally shake it back off again.

I love being the meanest dad in the whole wide world! Three rules at one shot and busted by the car, LOL.

Maristar210
03-03-2008, 11:51 AM
Sometimes :confused: :(

She has permission to go to her b/f's, her slightly younger sister is with her and the b/f mom is home. Home by 8:00, already lost her one and only chance to be late or lose the car. Phone rings at 8:00, she want's to talk to mom... warning bells are going off in my head, LOL. She's not talking to mom, she's going to deal with me. Car died near her b/f house... so she says. We finally figure out where she is, and I grab a can of gas, flashlights, jumper cables and we go find her. Bottom line, the F* Ford Focus ignition switch broke, nothing to do with her.

BUT, she's at somebody elses house, and someone has been smoking in the car. Whoops, LOL. And it wasn't her smoking, she gave a ride to someone who does smoke, two rules busted right there. karma really bit her hard on this one! We still haven't figured out how bad it's going to be, but her cell phone is cut off from everybody except immediate family and 911. Car's in the shop, and she for sure is walking to school until next Monday. Even after she gets it back, the wings are going to be cut very very short.

The ugliest part of this whole deal was watching them DRAG the car onto the flat bed, and literally shake it back off again.

I love being the meanest dad in the whole wide world! Three rules at one shot and busted by the car, LOL.


Meanest dad in the world? I hardly think so. How about Dad who isn't going to take any crap regarding unacceptable behavior? That has a much nicer ring to it.

Buy that man a Michelob!!!!

flipper
03-03-2008, 11:53 AM
I remember those days of getting busted. The funniest part is trying to get out of trouble, like parents don't know what's up.

Ric
03-03-2008, 11:53 AM
Here Here!

duckguy
03-03-2008, 11:58 AM
I really fail to see the issue here. First off she was "at someones house" out of need because the car broke. the smoking thing is gross and she should learn not to let someone do that in your car. But in her defense kids are kids and do stupid stuff, they just need to learn from it. I have seen alot of girls that are locked at home from ages 1-18, go off to school and get bombed 7 nights a week and do the basketball team.

Maristar210
03-03-2008, 12:01 PM
I really fail to see the issue here. First off she was "at someones house" out of need because the car broke. the smoking thing is gross and she should learn not to let someone do that in your car. But in her defense kids are kids and do stupid stuff, they just need to learn from it. I have seen alot of girls that are locked at home from ages 1-18, go off to school and get bombed 7 nights a week and do the basketball team.


I think he is referring to the groundwork he ladi and the fact she broke these rules. Doesn't sound to me like she is locked up in the house at all.

Were you on that basketball team? 8p

Prostar Rich
03-03-2008, 12:04 PM
Unfortunately for your duaghter the trust between her and you and your wife has been broken. Explain that to her and how disappointed you and your wife are in her actions. Trust is earned and not a given.
It sounds like you have taken the car away and I would believe that action alone will get her attention.

Prostar Rich

SoCalBrew
03-03-2008, 12:09 PM
It might be just me, but, I'm having trouble seeing the severity of this problem. You have a kid who decided to communicate with you - despite knowing there might be issues / consequences with being late and the smoking in the car. I know a TON of parents that would die for that situation. Personally, as long as my kids are telling me what's going on (truthfully), I would tend to extend them more slack. I understand rules are rules... but, it sounds like you have a kid with a good head on her shoulders, in that you are her first call, and IMO if you punish her too harshly... you possibly lose that too.

I do say this knowing I know nothing about your situation, but knowing that at some point, kids DO have to make decisions on their own, regardless of their parents wishes / rules... and for me, I'd rather be in their corner, then in the opposite one.

Hope things work out well!

sand2snow22
03-03-2008, 12:39 PM
I think I watched Days of Thunder 10 times at a "friends" house my junior and senior years in high school!!

lanier92prostar
03-03-2008, 12:43 PM
Hopefully, lesson learned by your daughter. It is much easier to cut them some slack on the smaller issues if they know you mean business on the more important issues. As I tell the kids in my classes, trust is a huge issue with parents. Best of luck to you, I know I CAN wait until my daughters are teenagers. They might not be able to leave the house at all. LOL

Prostar Rich
03-03-2008, 12:46 PM
It might be just me, but, I'm having trouble seeing the severity of this problem. You have a kid who decided to communicate with you - despite knowing there might be issues / consequences with being late and the smoking in the car. I know a TON of parents that would die for that situation. Personally, as long as my kids are telling me what's going on (truthfully), I would tend to extend them more slack. I understand rules are rules... but, it sounds like you have a kid with a good head on her shoulders, in that you are her first call, and IMO if you punish her too harshly... you possibly lose that too.

I do say this knowing I know nothing about your situation, but knowing that at some point, kids DO have to make decisions on their own, regardless of their parents wishes / rules... and for me, I'd rather be in their corner, then in the opposite one.

Hope things work out well!



Read the original post. Daughter said she would be at her best friends house. Dad gets the call for help car won't start. Daughter is at someones else's house not where she said she would be. See where the problem lies.

Prostar Rich

cbryan70
03-03-2008, 01:06 PM
I see a problem 8PM for someone who has a license is the curfew? that is pretty steep. I had a curfew until college but it was pretty flexible. I think once i got my license it was more like 10 or 11

SoCalBrew
03-03-2008, 01:08 PM
I read the original post... and it was difficult to read.

I understand what he is saying... and note, that I did say that there would be consequences in my post... She had to be home by 8... and CALLED AT 8... and called home. It seems like there was absolutely no acknowledgment of the responsible action of calling home... and for a teen, who KNOWS she is going to get busted - calling home is a REALLY difficult thing.

Look, everyone has different levels of tolerance, but if you want to find the best way to turn a teen who already has one foot out the door (ie car / mobility / freedom) against you... start taking everything away from her... especially when she reached out when she was in need.

I'm not saying to put her up on a pedestal and tell her she is the greatest kid on the face of the earth, but, if you grind her to a pulp with punishment at this point, you can probably expect that THAT was the last call you'll ever get when she in trouble... and probably expect that there will be other things that she will be trying to get away with... she will just be smarter about not getting caught.

Pro Star Rich - the kids are REALLY smart out there these days. I think it is the parents a lot of times that just don't get it. The choices for parents are a lot tougher these days... enable / punish... embrace / push down... cut them slack / reel them in. None of it is "cut and dried", but, if you don't acknowledge the kid, then you don't really teach them a thing worth learning.

My two cents... but, I did read what he was saying.

Read the original post. Daughter said she would be at her best friends house. Dad gets the call for help car won't start. Daughter is at someones else's house not where she said she would be. See where the problem lies.

Prostar Rich

uawaterskier
03-03-2008, 01:51 PM
dang dad you keep the reins pulled in tight huh? My little sister (16) doesn't have hardly any rules. She just has to be home by midnight and let my parents know where she is at. But that is probably because I'm such the model child and never got caught doing anything I wasn't suppose to.

flatcher
03-03-2008, 02:23 PM
One of the greatest responsibilities parents have is to raise and release their kids. The teenage years are toughest for most. I agree with discipline/restriction. It sounds like you've set a week worth of penalty. If the restriction ins options opens up better communication and a change in behavior it worked.

JoshBuzz
03-03-2008, 02:39 PM
Justin, the key there is that you never got CAUGHT doing anything you weren't supposed to do!!

:D

8 is a little steep on the curfew, but respectable. I was always told that as long as I called and kept my parents informed I was alright, and if I was ever doing something wrong and was in a bind, i.e. drunk and without a ride, there would be no questions asked and my dad would be there to get me. It's better this way because when your daughter is drunk at a party, or feels uncomfortable around someone, she isn't scared to call and ask you for help. I never had to call my dad to come pick me up, but I never drove after I'd been drinking either!! Pull the reigns to tight and your daughter might lose this idea, and go and do something stupid like drive home drunk, or stay with a guy she's not comfortable around, and things could get much worse.

Hope that made sense, the smoking thing is a big deal as a parent I'm sure, but if she's not doing it, and you trust she's not doing it, the smell will come out, no need to worry. I'm a Designated Driver all the time, and if someone wants to smoke in my car, so be it. I'd rather them be safe in my car than drunk and smoking in theirs!!

BrandonKTM
03-03-2008, 02:50 PM
I coach Varsity Boys soccer, and have a 14 year old daughter. 28 boys all getting older, voices changing, girls watching, some girlfriends. The biggest problem I have is the kids whose parents cut them too much slack. They try it on me, and bam, they get put in their place. I have my own business, and only coach for the District, no chance of getting fired and I let them know it! Parents who don't care what their kids are doing, claim they are "too busy" to handle them, can't bring them to practice, etc have got their priorities wrong. As a coach, you are there to teach and to do that when they do something wrong, you have to point it out. I have had several kids tell me that is damaging to their self-esteem! Sounds like them bleeding liberals, but I just tell them working to improve, winning games, and playing well individually only comes to those who work at their weaknesses. No high fiving when you screw up, and then when you do something great lots of praise. Back to this thread, I think the daughter needs to commended for calling in a tough situation, but still needs to be disciplined for some of the digressions. I just had that talk with my daughter about calling at ANY TIME day or night if she has a problem. We will be there and don't worry about the repercussions. Hopefully it got through?

suedv
03-03-2008, 02:56 PM
Speaking from my youth (which was a long time ago) I can say when the screws were put down tight on me by my parents I rebelled. My dad was a minister and I was held to standards that were supposed to make me a model Christian kid... an example for everyone. I felt oppressed by the rules and everyone watching me so I let my "wild side" be what everone saw. I figured if everone was watching me I might as well give them something to talk about. :o

Once I got to college nobody was watching me and making rules so I grew up. I had to answer to myself and be happy with the person I was.

This isn't meant to be advice for anyone's specific situation... just my memories and perspective from when I was young.

bobbyB
03-03-2008, 03:00 PM
My two bits....b/c I'm sure you all are dying to know:D

Origonal post seems to be the latest scene from a play that's been slowly going down hill for some time. As a parent we seldom reach the frustration overload point super quickly.....I know, there are the jerks out there that blow up, but that's not what we're dealing with here. Most of the time we get to frustration overload thru a series of poor decisions by the kid, and more and more levels of broken trust. In itself, each one of these items isn't all that bad; but pile all of them together and now we as parents have a responsibility to hold them accountable.

Sooner or later they are going to learn the lessons of accountability. I for one want it to be from me.....b/c I'm going to love them while I'm teaching them the lessons. On the other hand, the school of hard knocks tends to just knock one up side the head. I know, I've experienced it, and it's not fun.

I see a dad who cares enough for his daughter to teach her lifes lessons, even though it's a pain in his A$$ and takes a tremendous amount of effort. Keep up the good work and don't forget to love her up to balance things out. :cool:

JoshBuzz
03-03-2008, 03:04 PM
I just had that talk with my daughter about calling at ANY TIME day or night if she has a problem. We will be there and don't worry about the repercussions. Hopefully it got through?

Even if it doesn't seem like it did, I'm sure it did. My parents reminded me constantly of the fact that they were there for me as long as I was willing to call. I still got in trouble for going places without calling and all, but if I ever needed anything, they were there, and still are. I'm an hour and a half away from home at college, and will still not hesitate to call if I need something, no matter what time of night.

Just let her know that you do what you do out of love, and that you care about her. I'm sure you already let her know that, but in knowing that, it really means more when she does decide to call you when she's in trouble!! Once again, she's a teenager, even if it seems like she blew you off, she knows that you'll be there for her!!

bobbyB
03-03-2008, 03:09 PM
Even if it doesn't seem like it did, I'm sure it did. My parents reminded me constantly of the fact that they were there for me as long as I was willing to call. I still got in trouble for going places without calling and all, but if I ever needed anything, they were there, and still are. I'm an hour and a half away from home at college, and will still not hesitate to call if I need something, no matter what time of night.

Just let her know that you do what you do out of love, and that you care about her. I'm sure you already let her know that, but in knowing that, it really means more when she does decide to call you when she's in trouble!! Once again, she's a teenager, even if it seems like she blew you off, she knows that you'll be there for her!!

Well said!

88 PS190
03-03-2008, 04:03 PM
I'm not saying to put her up on a pedestal and tell her she is the greatest kid on the face of the earth, but, if you grind her to a pulp with punishment at this point, you can probably expect that THAT was the last call you'll ever get when she in trouble.

Good points there, I think because there were a series of infractions it actually empowers you to punish with out destroying the ability of her to call. In that you could establish what the punishment would have been for the full offense, and then forgive part of it, and lower the punishment.

I see the infractions as not where you were told she was going to be/asked to go, and having someone smoking in the car. I don't know which one bugs you more, but I would think you punish for the one, let her off the one that doesn't bug you so bad, and clarify that if she's driving a car that you are providing she has the responsibility for follow the guidelines you have established as that is a privelage.

Harvey
03-03-2008, 04:03 PM
Sometimes :confused: :(

She has permission to go to her b/f's, her slightly younger sister is with her and the b/f mom is home.

Anyone else wonder if b/f is short for BOYFRIEND?

88 PS190
03-03-2008, 04:17 PM
Anyone else wonder if b/f is short for BOYFRIEND?

that's how I use it, could be best friend though?

Workin' 4 Toys
03-03-2008, 04:23 PM
Is this text messaging lingo..???

Isn't BFF = Best friend forever?

Maybe BF = Best friend

erkoehler
03-03-2008, 05:40 PM
Never understood while people smoke in others cars.....had the same problem when I was in school. Except I made people get out to smoke!

uawaterskier
03-03-2008, 05:53 PM
Justin, the key there is that you never got CAUGHT doing anything you weren't supposed to do!!


yeah but we usually were a pretty smart bunch of kids. Basically if we were out drinkin or whatever I would find someone sober to come pick me up and park my car at the end of a circle with no house in my neighborhood. That way I could go out with the guys and still go home and it not look like I was out doing anything I wasn't suppose to. Either way, we tried being responsible and the few of us that weren't usually were the ones that got into trouble. Needless to say, I think my sister is going to be alright. She seems to have a pretty good head on her shoulders and looks to be headed in the right direction. I just hope she doesn't get caught up in any of the BS stuff high schoolers like to do, because I'd really like to see her get a full ride to college. I'm pretty sure she will if she keeps up her grades (4.0). I guess I'm just proud of how she is doing:cool:

edit:all you old farts b/f=boyfriend

JoshBuzz
03-03-2008, 06:58 PM
haha, we're the same way. I drive to a friends dorm, park it in the parking garage, and it stays put until the next day, unless I'm DD.

Seems high schoolers and middle schoolers are getting into a whole lot more stuff than we were at that age, it's kind of scary!!

phecksel
03-03-2008, 08:24 PM
Sorry if I made it tough reading, it wasn't my intention.

b/f = boyfriend
8:00 curfew on Sunday night is plenty late enough, especially since this kid needs a good 9 hours of sleep every night.

She also needs structure, where the youngest is a free spirit and actually has much looser reins, the oldest has a tendency to go running full tilt off a cliff without considering consequences. The best part, she's an incredibly happy kid today. We've seen this over and over with her. When she breaks the rules, and gets slapped down, she's happy???!!!

Two years ago, several sixth graders were preggers. The environment we're raising the kids in is a tough one. I've talked about it before, there's a lot of haves and have nots, and they are both dealing with their kids in the same manner, it's somebody else's problem.

Rules are rules are rules. We all choose to violate rules, and we should be willing to suffer the consequences. It was made painfully clear to her that 1 minute late and she was losing access to the car I'm paying for. I bet it was a tough call for her, but you know what, maybe she shouldn't have been someplace she wasn't supposed to be. Oh, and the other thing, that neighborhood is literally across the street from an apartment complex with heavy duty gangs and drugs. She had no business being over there. Talk about karma, with the car busting her like that, almost too funny.

It is a very tough call between boundaries and overly strict like Sue had. This environment makes it tougher. How much beyond her time frame should she be allowed, no tolerance, 1 minute, 5 minutes, 30 minutes, etc? Come back and see me in another 5 or so years and see how OUR behavior played out. Based on their friends and peers, we're doing pretty good. I think my fav is the young lady who's parents actually told us we were too strict, and kids need to be kids. Her daughters been thrown out of two school districts, smokes weed non stop, basically whores for her weed, and does any other guy that will stop long enough for her to do him. Another young lady who used to visit her dad around the corner from us, skipped school one day, got in a van with 7(?) kids, went out got high and rolled the car several times. Best part of that kid, she told the counselor her dad was giving her the weed. Oh, and she's now pregnant. I'll keep a tighter leash on her and try to provide her guidance to do the right things. She's seen us ease up on the rules, when she follows them. WRT smoking, she started smoking and we worked very very hard to break her of that before it got too addictive. She's easily influenced... here, you want one...

I appreciate the words of wisdom everybody offered. I just hope some have an opportunity to actually experience the joys of a defiant F* teen, LOL... Oh, and my dad is LHAO in heaven at me right now.

erkoehler
03-03-2008, 08:30 PM
Sorry if I made it tough reading, it wasn't my intention.

b/f = boyfriend
8:00 curfew on Sunday night is plenty late enough, especially since this kid needs a good 9 hours of sleep every night.

She also needs structure, where the youngest is a free spirit and actually has much looser reins, the oldest has a tendency to go running full tilt off a cliff without considering consequences. The best part, she's an incredibly happy kid today. We've seen this over and over with her. When she breaks the rules, and gets slapped down, she's happy???!!!

Two years ago, several sixth graders were preggers. The environment we're raising the kids in is a tough one. I've talked about it before, there's a lot of haves and have nots, and they are both dealing with their kids in the same manner, it's somebody else's problem.

Rules are rules are rules. We all choose to violate rules, and we should be willing to suffer the consequences. It was made painfully clear to her that 1 minute late and she was losing access to the car I'm paying for. I bet it was a tough call for her, but you know what, maybe she shouldn't have been someplace she wasn't supposed to be. Oh, and the other thing, that neighborhood is literally across the street from an apartment complex with heavy duty gangs and drugs. She had no business being over there. Talk about karma, with the car busting her like that, almost too funny.

It is a very tough call between boundaries and overly strict like Sue had. This environment makes it tougher. How much beyond her time frame should she be allowed, no tolerance, 1 minute, 5 minutes, 30 minutes, etc? Come back and see me in another 5 or so years and see how OUR behavior played out. Based on their friends and peers, we're doing pretty good. I think my fav is the young lady who's parents actually told us we were too strict, and kids need to be kids. Her daughters been thrown out of two school districts, smokes weed non stop, basically whores for her weed, and does any other guy that will stop long enough for her to do him. Another young lady who used to visit dad around the corner, skipped school one day, got in a van with 7(?) kids, went out got high and rolled the car several times. Best part of that kid, she told the counselor her dad was giving her the weed. Oh, and she's now pregnant. I'll keep a tighter leash on her and try to provide her guidance to do the right things. She's seen us ease up on the rules, when she follows them. WRT smoking, she started smoking and we worked very very hard to break her of that before it got too addictive. She's easily influenced... here, you want one...

I appreciate the words of wisdom everybody offered. I just hope some have an opportunity to actually experience the joys of a defiant F* teen, LOL... Oh, and my dad is LHAO in heaven at me right now.


Have fun! I'll hope for the best for you...........

phecksel
03-03-2008, 08:44 PM
One other thought, the busier she is, the better her behavior and grades. So, last week, I pulled a coup and got her interested in Soccer, which started today. When she was swimming and doing marching band, excellent kid.

uawaterskier
03-03-2008, 11:21 PM
It is a very tough call between boundaries and overly strict like Sue had. This environment makes it tougher. How much beyond her time frame should she be allowed, no tolerance, 1 minute, 5 minutes, 30 minutes, etc? Come back and see me in another 5 or so years and see how OUR behavior played out. Based on their friends and peers, we're doing pretty good. I think my fav is the young lady who's parents actually told us we were too strict, and kids need to be kids. Her daughters been thrown out of two school districts, smokes weed non stop, basically whores for her weed, and does any other guy that will stop long enough for her to do him. Another young lady who used to visit her dad around the corner from us, skipped school one day, got in a van with 7(?) kids, went out got high and rolled the car several times. Best part of that kid, she told the counselor her dad was giving her the weed. Oh, and she's now pregnant. I'll keep a tighter leash on her and try to provide her guidance to do the right things. She's seen us ease up on the rules, when she follows them. WRT smoking, she started smoking and we worked very very hard to break her of that before it got too addictive. She's easily influenced... here, you want one...


But see there is a BIG BIG BIG difference. If you have super irresponsible parents, can you really expect the kids to be any better. I think it is more the parents fault than the kids. I have more respect for my parents than anyone else that walks this green earth. I feel they did an excellent job raising me, showing me what is right vs wrong. A good set of parents is the best thing that ever happend to me.

edit: does your kid smoke? I smoked about a pack a day in HS. I quit and rarely touch them now. Looking back on it was stupid. I feel so much better and in so much better shape. I think if you caught her you should defineately punish her. In fact you might sit her down and let her read this. IT IS A WASTE OF MONEY, YOUR HEALTH, AND IT DOESNT MAKE YOU COOL, ITS JUST STUPID. My parents still don't know that I smoked. I'm just glad I had a g/f that told me choose between the two.

phecksel
03-04-2008, 11:24 AM
She did smoke, and doesn't anymore. I believe the story that someone got in her car and lit up. Quite possibly too a hit or two herself. Sports was the biggest thing I could have ever done to help her get rid of that bad habit. Swimming several thousand yards is tough when you're smoking, and now she's doing soccer.

peason
03-04-2008, 12:11 PM
I love reading these post's dealing with children. I like what you have done to set the rules, encourage child to call you if there is a problem and pointing out that that rules must be followed. If there is one thing I have learned over the years, kids need to be disciplined. I am not talking about beating, but simply they need to know there are consequences when they are out of line. It happens all of the time in adult life - if you don't obey the speed limit you get ticket. Hopefully my kids will make small mistakes that they learn from and not have to pay for a major screw-up. My oldest is getting close to his 16th birthday and he really wants more freedom to drive and live his own life - up to now he has been a great kid - likes school, gets good grades - wants to continue to get good grades and he is active in sports. He is also setting a good example for his siblings - there is a lot of pressure on the oldest.

Roonie's
03-04-2008, 01:03 PM
I love reading these post's dealing with children. I like what you have done to set the rules, encourage child to call you if there is a problem and pointing out that that rules must be followed. If there is one thing I have learned over the years, kids need to be disciplined. I am not talking about beating, but simply they need to know there are consequences when they are out of line. It happens all of the time in adult life - if you don't obey the speed limit you get ticket. Hopefully my kids will make small mistakes that they learn from and not have to pay for a major screw-up. My oldest is getting close to his 16th birthday and he really wants more freedom to drive and live his own life - up to now he has been a great kid - likes school, gets good grades - wants to continue to get good grades and he is active in sports. He is also setting a good example for his siblings - there is a lot of pressure on the oldest.

Phil, your kids are very well behaved. When we saw them they treated our youngest (3 years old) with great respect. They got their old toys out for our kids to play with and they helped them. I hope our kids when older will do the same. I agree on the discipline.

Prostar in Michigain
03-04-2008, 05:43 PM
My rules are pretty straight forward but if i disobey them my dad takes care of that. I have to be home by 11 on weekends and i dont really go out on weekdays due to hw and hockey. If a friend is picking me up they have to only be two people in the car not including me. If we go to a house and girls are there one parent has to be home. If i get caught drinking or smoking hockey is gone. So its kinda common sense

JoshBuzz
03-04-2008, 06:23 PM
Harsh.

I was raised over seas in a very British mentality(Abu Dhabi, Saudi, England, Trinidad) so drinking wasn't something that was really looked down upon. I think that American society puts drinking way up beyond what it should be on their priority list, thus making it more enticing to rebellious teens. Drinking has never been rebellious for me, it is always done responsibly, and hardly ever in overly copious amounts.

My curfew was set at 12 unless I called or asked if I could be out later, and we never argued about it. In college obviously I have no curfew, and it is amazing.

Harvey
03-04-2008, 06:56 PM
b/f = boyfriend
8:00 curfew on Sunday night is plenty late enough, especially since this kid needs a good 9 hours of sleep every night.

Damn I am good. I saw an 8 oclock curfew and b/f, I knew it had to be boyfriend. I commend you for your firmness with the rules. There have to be consequences.

When I was young if I got into any kind of trouble be it with the law, in school with bad grades, or doing something my parents didn't want me doing (mainly drugs and alcohol) then I lost something I valued highly, in most cases my ability to play sports. I was by no means an angel and though this may sound funny I made sure that when I did "what kids do" I was very cautious and tried to be as responsible as I could with my experimentation. I am not supporting my choices but they (parents) taught me to think about my actions and their consequences before I acted which is what they intended for me to learn.