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Granite_33
09-21-2007, 12:18 PM
To compliment the Abmiguity Thread.............

I would have to say I hear some of the most insane comments here at work:

#1 Trust me
#2 Quite Frankly
#3 To be quite frank
#4 To be absolutely frank and honest
#5 At the end of the day...........
#6 When its all said and done.......
#7 Now......let me ask you a question.....
#7a. Now.......let me ask you this........
#8 Remember the company name is on the paycheck, not the customer name (OK.....but who pays the company so that I can get paid?)
#9 I will tell you that......
#10 There is a move afoot........
#11 Going forward..........
#12 Believe me when I tell you.........

And one of my favorites...........
#13 Believe me when I tell you.......to be quite frank and honest (how about that for a lead in?)

There have got to be others out there.

Go ahead.........lets hear some stupidity disguised as solid "serious business talk":)

TheOneandOnly
09-21-2007, 12:26 PM
Pause a moment

BX3
09-21-2007, 12:28 PM
How about "I don't disagree with you"! Think about it! It takes a minute to sink in. Are they argreeing or not? My old manager sitting on the fence post.

A true pro.

Maristar210
09-21-2007, 12:42 PM
"Get to work or get out" is one I use frequently.

tex
09-21-2007, 01:18 PM
leverage
synergy
Hard saying not knowing!
Shut up idiot!

Farmer Ted
09-21-2007, 01:23 PM
Robust
Opportunity to Excel
Lean Forward

My favorite is "tip of the spear" to which I always reply, the problem with being the "tip of the spear" is you always get the shaft

Granite_33
09-21-2007, 01:24 PM
"I'm not saying that you are wrong.......but"

tones03
09-21-2007, 01:24 PM
"I'll get right on that" which translate into F you, ill wait to my manager says to do it.

shepherd
09-21-2007, 01:27 PM
The one I hate the most: "I'll be out of pocket..."

You'll be what???? :confused:

milkmania
09-21-2007, 01:31 PM
"excuse me, I believe you have my stapler"

Granite_33
09-21-2007, 01:33 PM
"excuse me, I believe you have my stapler"

Im going to need to go ahead and ask you for the TPS reports too.....................

M-Funf
09-21-2007, 01:57 PM
The one I hate the most: "I'll be out of pocket..."

You'll be what???? :confused:

:uglyhamme

The partners here use that one all the time...

Here, we get:

"not that it's any of my business, but..."

"dynes per millimeter squared" (don't ask)

"push-pull" (again, don't ask)

"Ship it" after we build the first one and it works...

milkmania
09-21-2007, 02:04 PM
Im going to need to go ahead and ask you for the TPS reports too.....................

"Um, Yeah... I'm Gonna need you to come in on Saturday."

Prostar Rich
09-21-2007, 02:07 PM
"Case in Point"



Prostar Rich

Monte
09-21-2007, 02:12 PM
"I know you've been covered up all week. Do you have a minute?"

Chief
09-21-2007, 02:13 PM
We have always done it like that.

M-Funf
09-21-2007, 02:17 PM
"I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant" :rolleyes:

Monte
09-21-2007, 02:19 PM
"The internet will be down for service Mon X/X/X. Hope this is not an inconvenience"

Maristar210
09-21-2007, 03:01 PM
"excuse me, I believe you have my stapler"


Milk - I just spit water on my monitor

Good one

PendO
09-21-2007, 03:24 PM
"what the phuk do you think you're doing"

CoFooter
09-21-2007, 04:34 PM
"Are you eeeeeven trying???? Use it all the time.

jrhollow
09-21-2007, 04:52 PM
"lets take this off-line"

lassy
09-21-2007, 05:36 PM
"it should be right"

Farmer Ted
09-21-2007, 07:15 PM
VFR Direct

very annoyed when used by someone other than ATC or a Pilot who are not in the commision of flying

Upper Michigan Prostar190
09-21-2007, 07:39 PM
how bout "W-T-F is your problem???"

or


"Fine, do it your way I dont care if you fail."

Doug G
09-21-2007, 08:08 PM
2 I hate

" Win - Win " in any sentence. Concept is great but it is an overused cliche
"we need to get their buy-in" translation - we need to convince them we're right

pup
09-21-2007, 08:30 PM
Truck repair shop popular phrases.
" some of them did that "
" you just gotta .......with it "

spanielman50
09-21-2007, 11:28 PM
Am I Workin For You Or Are You Workin For Me

PendO
09-21-2007, 11:48 PM
You thought that was going to work?

stars79stripes
09-22-2007, 03:22 AM
"...push back..."
"...beating the drum..."
"...bottom line it for me...'
"...vertical integration..."
"...value added..."
"...that is the sell..."
"...as you will see in this evolution..." (c'mon - that takes years, if it even is true)

And the worst to me - someone already mentioned - "...so they feel they have 'buy-in'..." So I FEEL? This isn't about feelings, pal. This is about facts, meaning it is or isn't. Feelings? I share those with my family and friends.

If I vertically integrate the tip of the spear with your a**, would you consider that a win-win? Or should I expect some push back on that? Is everybody happy? Or is this a push-pull situation? Let's just table this for now, we can take it offline. I'd hate to burn everyone's time on this just now. After the reorganization, I'm going to need your buy-in on that whole tip of the spear plan. I'll send you a soft copy...We can hash it out later. Where is my stapler?

stars79stripes
09-22-2007, 03:34 AM
I'd like to extend and revise my remarks -

Any phrase that employs the term "crux"
"...single point of truth...'
"...assuming..."
"...800 lb gorilla..."
"...the elephant in the room is..."
"...metrics..."
"...if you can't measure it, it doesn't matter..."
"...I have an MBA from..." (so do I, "...but how is that relevant to this discussion of staplers?...")

justinlkgb
09-22-2007, 08:56 AM
no one hit the " are you working hard, or hardly working" yet so there I did.

The one phrase that really gets me is when anyone asks" Are you having fun yet" :mad:
Of course not.....its work

tex
09-22-2007, 10:27 AM
A great response for "There's no i in team"
There is in #ickhead!

Ron Grover
09-23-2007, 11:02 PM
Back when I worked construction for a while had a boss that when he saw you at the water cooler, his line:

"Don't drink any more than you can sweat cause you ain't got time to piss."

and one I used on a boss once,

"I don't care, I've been fired by better men than you."

03 35th Anniversary
09-24-2007, 05:09 AM
I was looking for a job when I found this one................

djhuff
09-24-2007, 07:40 AM
"I don't mean to interrupt you, but..."

Yes, you did mean to interrupt me, otherwise you wouldn't have done it.

T Scott
09-24-2007, 08:03 AM
A great response for "There's no i in team"



I always say No, but hteres two in "commission"

Another one I hear is "flawless execution"..drives me nuts

djhuff
09-24-2007, 08:12 AM
A great response for "There's no i in team"
There is in #ickhead!

I use... "but there is a "me""

Hoosier Bob
09-24-2007, 08:52 PM
You have to look at the "Big Picture!" Which means my picture just got smaller!:o

trickskier
09-24-2007, 09:02 PM
If you don't believe in life after death...................

Be here at quitting time.........................:rolleyes:

Granite_33
09-24-2007, 09:34 PM
"We need to understand what our exposure is"

Good one from our VP of finance.........."impactable sales dollars". Go figure that one out.:confused:

"06 to 07 walk" .........another one that must have come from a VP.

and.........if I here another sentence from our President that includes the word "multitude", I will hit him, I promise.

One more.......I get this about 5 times a day.............
"Can't complain......wouldn't do any good if I did"