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Jwhitsett1129
07-10-2007, 05:21 PM
So I have been with my girlfriend for coming up on 2 years. I have never been a big fan of her mother...she is uncouth, overbearing, bossy, and just generally unpleasant. In my presence and when on the telephone with me she refers to her self as "Mrs. Smith," (not really the last name, but you get the picture) and so I assume that she wishes for me to call her that as well. Seems strange to me since we are not in high school and I will more then likely become her son-in-law in the near future, but I abide by her wishes.

The thing that really gets me about the situation is that she and "Mr. Smith" were divorced about 10 years ago...so in my eyes she is no longer "Mrs. Smith," but "Ms. Smith."

I know it is semantics, but it just seems totally incorrect and is really getting under my skin this afternoon. :mad:

Farmer Ted
07-10-2007, 05:24 PM
Time to bring out the Eddie Haskell..............

betsy&david Harrison
07-10-2007, 05:29 PM
If you do marry into this family....move far away, very far away! It will take her out of the picture almost completely.

milkmania
07-10-2007, 05:32 PM
So I have been with my girlfriend for coming up on 2 years. I have never been a big fan of her mother...she is uncouth, overbearing, bossy, and just generally unpleasant. In my presence and when on the telephone with me she refers to her self as "Mrs. Smith," (not really the last name, but you get the picture) and so I assume that she wishes for me to call her that as well. Seems strange to me since we are not in high school and I will more then likely become her son-in-law in the near future, but I abide by her wishes.

The thing that really gets me about the situation is that she and "Mr. Smith" were divorced about 10 years ago...so in my eyes she is no longer "Mrs. Smith," but "Ms. Smith."

I know it is semantics, but it just seems totally incorrect and is really getting under my skin this afternoon. :mad:

fellow Okie......
run, run, get the F out while you can!

ttu
07-10-2007, 05:38 PM
fellow Okie......
run, run, get the F out while you can!

fellow okie also and ditto milk's comment.

trust me, my EX wife's mother ruined our marriage and they lived 300+ miles away:mad:

RexDog1
07-10-2007, 05:43 PM
Milk is right, RUN :o

If it is bad now? Just wait………………….

The mom is not going to change, and one day it will come down for your girlfriend

To pick,,,,,,,,,, you? or her mom?
Relationships are hard enough with outside pressure from the mom

tex
07-10-2007, 05:44 PM
Time to bring out the Eddie Haskell..............
That's what I would do....just bust her ars and she will eventually wear down.

TX.X-30 fan
07-10-2007, 05:48 PM
fellow Okie......
run, run, get the F out while you can!



Great milk, spit beer on the keyboard. :D :D

SaltwaterMC
07-10-2007, 05:50 PM
I was raised to call every adult Ms., Mrs., or Mr. "whatever" (with very few exceptions; those who absolutely insisted I call them by their first name). It seems weird to me to call an elder by anything other than that, including my girlfriend's mom of 2 years. Granted, I am only 22, but my dad does the same to his elders. I just think different people may have different opinions and expectations on this matter and it would appear that the opinions of you and your g/f's mom differ here. On the other hand, she may just be a pain (I have had a few girlfriends whose mothers kind of scared me off). Good luck!

Leroy
07-10-2007, 05:54 PM
I would say take a chill pill if you are worried about this:

no longer "Mrs. Smith," but "Ms. Smith."

Jwhitsett1129
07-10-2007, 05:58 PM
I was raised to call every adult Ms., Mrs., or Mr. "whatever" (with very few exceptions; those who absolutely insisted I call them by their first name). It seems weird to me to call an elder by anything other than that, including my girlfriend's mom of 2 years. Granted, I am only 22, but my dad does the same to his elders. I just think different people may have different opinions and expectations on this matter and it would appear that the opinions of you and your g/f's mom differ here. On the other hand, she may just be a pain (I have had a few girlfriends whose mothers kind of scared me off). Good luck!

I understand the chivalry and respect behind it. It is not what I would expect, but if it is what she wants then so be it. But, she is using an incorrect prefix, thus solidifying my beliefs that she is an idiotic biznatch.

dmayer84
07-10-2007, 06:00 PM
Have you tried correcting her? :D

SaltwaterMC
07-10-2007, 06:02 PM
I got you. That could very well be the case, I have encountered a few of those in past relationships. Maybe she can't get over the divorce... no, I think you are probably right with your assumption. Again, good luck and try not to let her get to you too much (she wins if you do).

Maristar210
07-10-2007, 06:23 PM
My BIL calls my mom by her first name. I would prefer Mom and I think its disrespectful. FWIW

Your MIL has no relationship of her own to meddle in (see the phrase screw up) so she relishes in making your life hell. Or at least making sure she is a large part of it.

You had better get this in the open and crystal clear with the girl friend that if your relationship is to "progress to the next level" she's needs to understand that the MIL will have no part in your marriage in terms of decisions and wife husband relations. If she won't comply, then run like hell and I'm not kidding, RUN LIKE HELL. She will without question ruin your marriage.....

Trust me I know, I know.... gawd do I know....... My first wife had a nice *** and I overlooked everything else. Bad... Bad.... Bad!!! idea

JimN
07-10-2007, 06:25 PM
dmayer- why don't you call her to correct the Mrs./Ms. thing and let us know how it goes for you.

maristarman
07-10-2007, 06:39 PM
Looks like both you and your girlfriends mom could be right, or wrong, depending on how you look at it.

http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=389574

I've always found this to be pretty good advice....

I fall short of it (far too often), but it's still good advice. :o

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

(Courtesy of Romans 12:9-18)

endl
07-10-2007, 06:41 PM
Ask her "Hey when we get married do I get to call you "Ms. Mom" or "Mrs. Mom"..........that will get her going then dont let up!

Do not let the mother-in-law beat you! You are better than her! Keep your head up brother.

2RLAKE
07-10-2007, 06:43 PM
So how does she look? Women morph towards their moms ... was that politically incorrect???

rasmithaz
07-10-2007, 06:56 PM
So how does she look? Women morph towards their moms ... was that politically incorrect???
I don't know if it politically incorrect but I know it's true.

TX.X-30 fan
07-10-2007, 07:05 PM
I think the Mrs/Ms stuff is secondary here, its the oppinion you seem to have of her.

My ex mother-in-law worked against our relationship for the 9 yrs we were married and before. Encouraged her daughter not to start a family for all of our marriage. Controlled or tried to, every aspect of our lives she could. She was truly a cold hearted person. I came home from work one day to find the wife's stuff gone and a dear john on the counter that said she needed to go and "find herself":rolleyes: .

Well she did right across the subdivision at her moms house for I think 2 years. 8p Her mom could not have been happier (idiot) to have her 35 yr old daughter back home

Women like this can make your life hell no matter how much in love you are .

Good luck with this. ;)

Oh and that morphin thing is true. :D

Slinkyredfoot
07-10-2007, 07:54 PM
So I have been with my girlfriend for coming up on 2 years. I have never been a big fan of her mother...she is uncouth, overbearing, bossy, and just generally unpleasant. In my presence and when on the telephone with me she refers to her self as "Mrs. Smith," (not really the last name, but you get the picture) and so I assume that she wishes for me to call her that as well. Seems strange to me since we are not in high school and I will more then likely become her son-in-law in the near future, but I abide by her wishes.

The thing that really gets me about the situation is that she and "Mr. Smith" were divorced about 10 years ago...so in my eyes she is no longer "Mrs. Smith," but "Ms. Smith."

I know it is semantics, but it just seems totally incorrect and is really getting under my skin this afternoon. :mad:


Get used to it if you truly like and maybe love her daughter....from what you say about "Ms. Smith"...(I know a mother like this all to well by the way), kill her with kindness no matter how much you want to throw up doing it....take the high road here JW

Just think how much better you will feel about yourself knowing you put up with her in your words, bossy, uncouth, overbearing ways.
And if you need a break when you are around this Ms. Smith, go out in your garage and chug one maybe two of your favorite malt beverages.

Why just last weekend we were on a delightful. night stroll on the pontoon boat, the mother I know all to well starting harping about the bugs and especially the "moths" around the boat lights, I heard that word 15 times if it wasn't 50, I got sick of it, I pulled the old "Have you ever smelled moth balls" joke on her...she fell for it hook line and sinker...priceless.....:D

If you really like her daughter put up with her in ways you can cope, otherwise move on.
:twocents:

jss101
07-10-2007, 08:16 PM
I have to say I was amazed at how much I married into my wife's family when I married my wife! I'm madly in love with my wife, but... living (not literally) with her family over the years has been a challenge! Different values, different views of what's important in life.

Ah, well.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-10-2007, 09:32 PM
fellow Okie......
run, run, get the F out while you can!
Dude, listen to this man Milk, he knows what he is talkin' bout.

BTW, I didnt know my ex GF moved to OK and started dating you. ;) 8p I had an ex whos mother was similar. :rolleyes:

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-10-2007, 09:37 PM
My BIL calls my mom by her first name. I would prefer Mom and I think its disrespectful. FWIW

Your MIL has no relationship of her own to meddle in (see the phrase screw up) so she relishes in making your life hell. Or at least making sure she is a large part of it.

You had better get this in the open and crystal clear with the girl friend that if your relationship is to "progress to the next level" she's needs to understand that the MIL will have no part in your marriage in terms of decisions and wife husband relations. If she won't comply, then run like hell and I'm not kidding, RUN LIKE HELL. She will without question ruin your marriage.....

Trust me I know, I know.... gawd do I know....... My first wife had a nice *** and I overlooked everything else. Bad... Bad.... Bad!!! idea
Staristar, Knowledge I seek. you are my sensei, I am your grasshopper. :worthy: Thank you my master. I pledge myself to your teachings. :worthy: I'm not kidding either.

Jwhitsett1129
07-17-2007, 10:10 AM
Thanks for all of the advice here fellas. I will let you know what happens; although I am sure it will be rather anticlimactic :)