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milkmania
06-03-2007, 03:38 PM
I just had to pass this story alonghttp://www.freewebby.com/action-smilies/typer.gif

(it's from another forum I frequent)


Sweet merciful crap, my d*** hurts.
About two months ago I was hit with a kidney stone. I had a CAT scan and it showed I had several more stones waiting in line. One stone was apparently huge (4 mm X 8 mm), but the others were each the size of a grain of sand. The doctor told me I'd never have to worry about the big one because it would simply be too big to pass, but the small ones were gonna cause me a bunch of pain. He gave me some painkillers to take when I had attacks. Sure enough, over the past two months I'd passed about a half dozen more stones. On Tuesday I had the worst one yet - three percoset didn't even take the edge off the pain. It, too, passed eventually though, but it left a strange feeling in my d***, almost like it was half plugged. Ever since Tuesday I'd been having trouble pissing - it was fine until I just got to the end of the piss, then a wave of pain would hit, almost bringing me to my knees. Then, last night while pissing at about 5:00 PM, I felt whatever it was jamming my d*** move. Unfortunately it didn't move far enough, so I spent the rest of the evening in pain, with this thing stuck in my d***, absolutely scared s***less to try to piss again.

Around about midnight the urge to piss became too great, so I grabbed my d*** and hoped for the best. At first a small trickle started coming out, then it stopped. My d*** immediately swelled to twice its normal size - flattering though it was, it was also very painful. Then the "plug" let go and literally flew out, and I sprayed about a quart of piss out in about a half second. The moment that plug came out was without a doubt the most painful experience I can recall - all the small stones I had together wouldn't add up to this much pain.

So after I picked myself up off the bathroom floor I looked into the toilet and saw the "plug" - it was actually the large stone the doctor told me would be impossible to pass. I plucked it out of the s***ter.

And now, in case my description didn't make you hurt enough, I present a picture of my newborn son. I think I'll call him EEEEEEEAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! in honour of the sound I made as he came into the world:


http://bhammonster.com/rock.jpg



On the left is a 200mg Advil, center is my boy (notice his rough texture - the "Piss of a thousand razor blades"), and right is a shiny new Canadian penny (worth about 0.92 US pennies). I was talking to my doctor this morning and he wants the stone to give to the lab, so I took the pic for posterity (I was gonna encase it in clear resin and make a paper weight out of it :() I called my doctor this morning - he couldn't believe it when I told him I passed it. Guess my d***'s bigger than his...

Mag_Red
06-03-2007, 03:58 PM
way toooooo much information! Glad you are feeling better Brian

Flatwaterfooter
06-03-2007, 04:30 PM
I hope the story was meant to be funny because I am still laughing.

JohnnyB
06-03-2007, 05:06 PM
If that story is true, he's more of a man than I am.......the story was funny but you've gotta have large cajones to stand the pain of even think about trying to pass that......Ok, a d*** the size of a fire hose probably would help, too.

tuffenuff
06-03-2007, 05:20 PM
What next, a blow by blow on your "HE-ROID" operation? I bet we got more details than your Proc. Doc will ever hear. Glad all is well, but keep this one for the "drunk around the campfire" tales (LOL)!

tex
06-03-2007, 06:04 PM
Holy chit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

victorff
06-03-2007, 06:27 PM
Sorry for your pain, but one of the funniest stories I've heard in a while.

03 35th Anniversary
06-03-2007, 06:43 PM
That story gives me the chills and the willies just reading it!!!!!!

Glad your feeling better........

milkmania
06-03-2007, 09:48 PM
it's not me!!!:rant:


it's a story from another person on another forum;)


if it were me, I'd be in the corner curled up in a fetal position, and whimpering like a baby

6ballsisall
06-03-2007, 10:52 PM
Dang..........that pic will haunt my dreams for many a nights........:(

LakePirate
06-03-2007, 10:56 PM
FYI

If you are prone to these beasts be sure you check the water that you are drinking, water or tap, as there are different ingredients in the waters that increase the likely hood of stones.

Back in my football coaching days I was at the hospital one night with a football player who was dehydrated during camp week. The guy in the next room over was passing some stones. It was the most horrific sound I have ever heard.

6ballsisall
06-03-2007, 11:01 PM
FYI

If you are prone to these beasts be sure you check the water that you are drinking, water or tap, as there are different ingredients in the waters that increase the likely hood of stones.

Back in my football coaching days I was at the hospital one night with a football player who was dehydrated during camp week. The guy in the next room over was passing some stones. It was the most horrific sound I have ever heard.

Do I need to be worried about my water Lakey??? The very thought of having to pass one of those makes me want to call that Deep Rock telemarketer back that I hung up on last week!!! :(

Upper Michigan Prostar190
06-04-2007, 09:26 AM
Dang Milk. sorry to hear about this. :( :( Hope your feeling better soon!

Whats your super hero name gonna be??

Superstone?

The Amazing Urethra?

Pi$$boy?

Wonderpi$$?

fintek9
06-04-2007, 10:30 AM
NO COMMENT,,:eek3::eek3::eek3::eek3: