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Sodar
04-02-2007, 11:04 PM
At the risk of being flagged a homosexual or a corny sap, I thought that I would post this, because it hit home for me, more than anything I have read in a while... Here it is:

Being Twenty-Something...

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job...and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling onto the past for dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person.

One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!

We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Remember to help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion...
Always remember to bend but I do not break!!!


OKAY!! Bring on the bashing... I have big shoulders! :D

dmayer84
04-02-2007, 11:14 PM
Where did you find that? Have to agree on it hitting home, sounds all too familiar.

JKTX21
04-02-2007, 11:19 PM
Ha, I think probably every one in their twenties feels like this. I had the bull by the horns when I was leaving college with two degrees... or so I thought. I have a job a lot of people want, but it's not for me. So I have that small crisis. I had a girlfriend that I thought I wanted to keep... but I would have had to change too much for all that.

I think it all boils down to things changing very quickly once you hit your early to mid twenties... plus we still haven't found our place in the world yet. Sometimes I want more out of life, but I think about all of the hard work I've done, and the times when I took the high road and not the easy path. And I know I'm a better person for sticking to my goals and doing the right things (with more than occasional screw ups).

I'm going to keep plugging away and keep saying the one thing that has gotten me this far. "It is what it is!"

(And go skiing every chance I get!)

JKTX21
04-02-2007, 11:21 PM
OH!

P.S. You're a ****!

east tx skier
04-02-2007, 11:29 PM
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Sodar
04-02-2007, 11:38 PM
OH!

P.S. You're a ****!


Thanks Buddy!! I knew I could count on ya!! 8p ;) :D

Sodar
04-02-2007, 11:40 PM
If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Awesome Doug! Figures, I would post something that I found to have some thruth to it, all to be out done by Doug and Mr. Kipling!

Sodar
04-02-2007, 11:43 PM
Where did you find that? Have to agree on it hitting home, sounds all too familiar.

An email my friend sent to me...

east tx skier
04-02-2007, 11:47 PM
Awesome Doug! Figures, I would post something that I found to have some thruth to it, all to be out done by Doug and Mr. Kipling!

Sorry,it just reminded me of that. One of my favorites. Good stuff!

Sodar
04-02-2007, 11:50 PM
Sorry,it just reminded me of that. One of my favorites. Good stuff!


That is great stuff! I just pasted it to a Word file and hung it on my corkboard! Any other meaningful stuff you wanna send my way... send it on over!!

erkoehler
04-02-2007, 11:56 PM
That is great stuff! I just pasted it to a Word file and hung it on my corkboard! Any other meaningful stuff you wanna send my way... send it on over!!


Your new boat is now in production at MC. That is pretty meaningful.

Mag_Red
04-02-2007, 11:59 PM
Got any words of wisdom for a girl 17, soon to be 18???? Cause anything I say falls on deaf ears:rolleyes:

Sodar
04-03-2007, 12:16 AM
Your new boat is now in production at MC. That is pretty meaningful.

Definitely a 10 year-old dream, finally materializing!! But, material things only mean so much sometimes...

Blair
04-03-2007, 12:19 AM
wow sodar... how true it is...

oh and mag... check your pm in a few minutes

Sodar
04-03-2007, 12:23 AM
Got any words of wisdom for a girl 17, soon to be 18???? Cause anything I say falls on deaf ears:rolleyes:

Not sure who you are asking, but I can unload soooooo much about young girls right now.....

PendO
04-03-2007, 01:13 AM
hey Cameron ... lay off the Zima!

sizzler
04-03-2007, 05:13 AM
Got any words of wisdom for a girl 17, soon to be 18???? Cause anything I say falls on deaf ears:rolleyes:

best one that i was told on my way up through the company..

"its nice to be important,but its important to be nice"

also

"be nice to the people on the way up,as you will be seeing them on your way down"

Sodar
04-03-2007, 09:48 AM
hey Cameron ... lay off the Zima!

I know, those Zimas and Cosmos get me all emotional and shi!t!!! :D :D :D

east tx skier
04-03-2007, 09:51 AM
That is great stuff! I just pasted it to a Word file and hung it on my corkboard! Any other meaningful stuff you wanna send my way... send it on over!!

That's pretty much all I have. I first heard it at my father's funeral and it's always meant a lot to me. I rediscovered it in a bar in Houston as it's framed and hanging on the wall. I have a copy of it in my desk drawer.

endl
04-03-2007, 10:00 AM
Guys just wait add another 10 years and you will still feel the same way, only by then typically most will have wives and kids.......then all the pressure and aniexty really builds. Now your flexibility goes away and you work because you have to.

My suggestion is to you guys in your twenties go find something you love to do and want to do..... so when you get older your not stuck doing something because you have to....

Sodar let me know when the boat is ready.....

jmac197
04-03-2007, 10:02 AM
Ok let me be the first to pea on this party.

I'm in my 40's and everytime I have reached a decade mark, one of these "poems" are sent to me. Every age group/generation has their troubles. Each "decade" group has their challanges. They are different and similar at the same time. Life doesn't get easier, the challanges just change.

I have a problem with the woe is me crap. Guess what...everyone over 20, 30, 40, 50 had to deal with life events and guess what? We/They all got through it, well most all.

I used to feel that no other generation had to grow up with the nuclear threat and noone understood what my generation faced. Well we also never had to grow up with the threat of al-Qaeda, or the Japanese, or the spread of communism. See each generation has their own defining enemies.

Don't think I am trying to minimize the challanges our younger members face. I wish you the absolute best in facing them and overcoming them. In fact with each victory, the character grows stronger. I'm only asking that you understand that you are not alone nor unique in what you face. Many, many others have been in your shoes. It's all part of growing up.

Whoa...I almost fell off my soapbox.......


Jim

east tx skier
04-03-2007, 10:08 AM
Ok let me be the first to pea on this party.

I'm in my 40's and everytime I have reached a decade mark, one of these "poems" are sent to me. Every age group/generation has their troubles. Each "decade" group has their challanges. They are different and similar at the same time. Life doesn't get easier, the challanges just change.

I have a problem with the woe is me crap. Guess what...everyone over 20, 30, 40, 50 had to deal with life events and guess what? We/They all got through it, well most all.

I used to feel that no other generation had to grow up with the nuclear threat and noone understood what my generation faced. Well we also never had to grow up with the threat of al-Qaeda, or the Japanese, or the spread of communism. See each generation has their own defining enemies.

Don't think I am trying to minimize the challanges our younger members face. I wish you the absolute best in facing them and overcoming them. In fact with each vistory, the character grows stronger. I'm only asking that you understand that you are not alone nor unique in what you face. Many, many others have been in your shoes. It's all part of growing up.

Whoa...I almost fell off my soapbox.......


Jim

I didn't read that as "woe as me" at all. But it was late. I just read it again, and still didn't take that from it. But it is early.

I'll try again at noon.

Hoosier Bob
04-03-2007, 10:09 AM
At 42 re-read the letter. Looks good to me! All is in front of you my friend! Do not forget that is one you will want to read again some day. Sure am glad those one night stands are gone!:mad: Sometimes confusion can set in as a result of the many opportunities we face. I agree take away these opportunities and life becomes much more simple. Enjoy the fact that these decisions, opportunities are in abundance! Many decisions as you age will be made for you. College for children, Family, Mortgage, and other responsibilities. They will keep you busy! You are now in living in the "Tain't" 8p part of your life. Watch "Team America" as it is now time for you to decide which one you will become! Do not sweat it, it is natural part of life!:D

PS Drinking and acting like an idiot may be a tough one to break! :o

endl
04-03-2007, 10:14 AM
"PS Drinking and acting like an idiot may be a tough one to break!"

Very well said...I cannot seem to break that one. It is less often on the idiot part but more on the drinking.....

Sodar
04-03-2007, 10:28 AM
I was not trying to post this as a Sob-Story or look how hard my life is. I was just posting it because it puts the feelings that most 20-somethings are having into words... Nothing More, Nothing Less.

Hoosier Bob
04-03-2007, 10:35 AM
I agree! I really did not take that from the post. I would also add that my perspective is a little dated! Stay close as friendships, positive friendships are paramount at this time. Not a sob story at all, only facts that many of us have experienced. Nothing like someone telling you how the roller coaster ride was. You have to ride it for yourself! Enjoy!

RexDog1
04-03-2007, 10:45 AM
My 2nd wife will be in her 20’s

And talking like this it is going to happen soon :eek3: :wavey:

SNOOTYSKIER
04-03-2007, 10:46 AM
I dont whine.

Sodar
04-03-2007, 10:48 AM
Nobody is whining!!!!

richardsoncd
04-03-2007, 10:50 AM
I hear you Cameron.............trust me, I hear you

JKTX21
04-03-2007, 10:54 AM
My suggestion is to you guys in your twenties go find something you love to do and want to do..... so when you get older your not stuck doing something because you have to....


That's pretty good advice, I have this thought often.

Hoosier Bob
04-03-2007, 11:01 AM
My dog is! Taken him out twice in the last half hour!:o Nobody is whining!!!!

Kyle's_prostar205
04-03-2007, 11:02 AM
Sodar- I can relate 100% to that. I am 23...soon to be 24 and it ALL hit home to me! Thanks for posting that!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
04-03-2007, 11:07 AM
I agree with the idea of finding something you LIKE for a job in your 20's thats a great idea. I wish I followed a different path in college. I went into engineering because I was good at math, science, etc.. but I didnt like it. I was just good at it. :rolleyes: In retrospect I wish I had went into something medical. lab tech, or x ray tech or optomitrist. I didnt have the discipline to handle med school. I was a good student, but med school would have driven me crazy.

Jwhitsett1129
04-03-2007, 11:12 AM
"One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic."

Apparently I missed that memo...sounds like the makings of a pretty fantastic night to me :cool:

RexDog1
04-03-2007, 11:27 AM
Cameron….:cool:

You are in the best time of your life
Yes your friend’s change
Girlfriend’s change, (and run right over you)
Trying to figure life out………(this will never end)
“Quarter-life Crisis” it is called growing up my friend ………
I read your first post and I am 45 and I think about 50% of things on the list,
to this day……

Job, Friends, Women, Money it will never end, when you get older you can add Kids to the list…….it is all part of life

SO get out there and hit it hard, never look back…….. Because when you get 45or so…..
You will look back and smile:D

Maristar210
04-03-2007, 12:01 PM
:toast: Cameron….:cool:

You are in the best time of your life
Yes your friend’s change
Girlfriend’s change, (and run right over you)
Trying to figure life out………(this will never end)
“Quarter-life Crisis” it is called growing up my friend ………
I read your first post and I am 45 and I think about 50% of things on the list,
to this day……

Job, Friends, Women, Money it will never end, when you get older you can add Kids to the list…….it is all part of life

SO get out there and hit it hard, never look back…….. Because when you get 45or so…..
You will look back and smile:D

I'll drink to that

Sodar
04-03-2007, 12:29 PM
Cameron….

You are in the best time of your life.... Without Question!!
Yes your friend’s change.... Not as of yet... Truly Fortunate to have VERY close friend
Girlfriend’s change, (and run right over you).... Pretty Much the crux of my problems!!!
Trying to figure life out………(this will never end) ..... Its all a learning process!! :)
“Quarter-life Crisis” it is called growing up my friend ……… No argument here!!
I read your first post and I am 45 and I think about 50% of things on the list,
to this day…… Hopefully someday, I only need to think about 50%!!! 8p

Job, Friends, Women, Money it will never end, when you get older you can add Kids to the list…….it is all part of life

SO get out there and hit it hard, never look back…….. Because when you get 45or so…..
You will look back and smile:D

Thanks Jon! Like I said before, it was just a verbalization of feelings. I guess, I was just not ready for all the changes to happen soooo quickly. Seems like last year at this time, I had the world by the balls, then all heII broke loose and everything I once knew is now gone and keeps changing faster than I can keep up with. I guess it is just one of those cycles, that I need to work through and hopefully it will work out..... :o

jmac197
04-03-2007, 12:34 PM
I absolutely do not mean to offend anyone, but....

This forum, with the exception of a few very understanding and tolerant females, is basically a male dominated forum. I have a problem with the fact that just having a male post a feel good like that in the "locker room" exemplifies the feminization of society.

In my hometown, we have a bunch of well intentioned women on the board of our local hockey association. For years, the best players played and if you wanted to play you worked harder than the guy next to you and beat him out of his position. What a great parallel to life!. Now we can no longer do that. We have to play each person equally, well you know what happened.....not even a 500 season, Just like life....we are all being dragged down to the lowest common denominator.

Yes, we all have thought about what Sodar has posted. 20 years ago we never mentioned it and just fought our deamons on our own as our fathers did. You'd never see the Duke post this.....

Sodar what you wrote is absolutely true. Please don't think I'm bashing you!! I'm just bitter about losing our spot. :rant:

Jim

jmac197
04-03-2007, 12:35 PM
I think it's time to get the boat out........

Upper Michigan Prostar190
04-03-2007, 12:51 PM
I think it's time to get the boat out........
TRU DAT!!!

Harvey
04-03-2007, 01:13 PM
I can sympathize with the original post but I agree with the older and wiser people on the board. This is a part of life. We all "grow up" sometime. I turn 29 this year, I am engaged to be married before I turn 30, I work in a field that I have been in for 10 years, and I have seen a little bit in my life so far. There are times when I remember "having the world by the balls" but I also I feel like have it by the balls now. The only difference is I see the world differently now.

Eastie's post brings it all home. Life is a learning process, some of it's lessons are hard and most of it's lessons are learned from mistakes. I was fortunate to have a great father to teach me some of the lessons. And I am even more fortunate to have a great woman who for the last 7 years has been teaching me lessons. I see the world differently because I have learned more about the world.

There is no "Quarter Life Crisis" there is only growing up and learning that what you thought was the world, is actually something different.

Sodar
04-03-2007, 01:16 PM
I absolutely do not mean to offend anyone, but....

This forum, with the exception of a few very understanding and tolerant females, this is basically a male dominated forum. I have a problem with the fact that just having a male post a feel good like that in the "locker room" exemplifies the feminization of society.

In my hometown, we have a bunch of well intentioned women on the board of our local hockey association. For years, the best players played and if you wanted to play you worked harder than the guy next to you and beat him out of his position. What a great parallel to life!. Now we can no longer do that. We have to play each person equally, well you know what happened.....not even a 500 season, Just like life....we are all being dragged down to the lowest common denominator.

Yes, we all have thought about what Sodar has posted. 20 years ago we never mentioned it and just fought our deamons on our own as our fathers did. You'd never see the Duke post this.....

Sodar what you wrote is absolutely true. Please don't think I'm bashing you!! I'm just bitter about losing our spot. :rant:

Jim

I am not sure I would call it the "feminization of society", but thoughts and feelings of men are definitely more open and accepted than previous generations.... Right, Wrong or Indifferent, I do not know... I have not been on earth long enough to make that decision.

I am reminded of Blue Collar Comedy Tour, when Bill Ingvall is talking about how he was at the gym and his buddy told Bill, he was getting a divorce.... Bill went home and told his wife "Hey, Frank is getting a divorce" and she responds, "What Happened!?!?", Bill replies "I dunno, I didn't ask!"

There is no doubt, that the generation gap brings out different ways of handling life and what was socially accepted 20 years ago, compared to now, has changed. And in this case, I can throw your own advise right back to ya.... "It is all a part of growing up." Change is inevitable, you just gotta deal with it... not get bitter about it!

jmac197
04-03-2007, 01:41 PM
Sodar,

Change is inevitable, and we all need to, actually enjoy it. I have no problem with change.

Yes current males are more open and accepting, which has allowed them to become more female...hence the metrosexual label.

I'm sure some of the old timers here understand what I am saying....corporal punishment, good old fashion child disipline, earning the respect of peers rather than being entitled to it, respecting your elders, personal accountability, a days wage for a days work, assimulating into American society not expecting a seperate but equal society within our boarders. We had many of these things, but are in the process of losing them, all in the name of being open and accepting.

Jim

Please accept these comments as good open debate!

Sodar
04-03-2007, 02:05 PM
Sodar,

Please accept these comments as good open debate!

Without question! I love this stuff!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
04-03-2007, 02:16 PM
Change is good. I learned that when I started wearing relaxed fit jeans.

Sodar
04-03-2007, 02:21 PM
Change is good. I learned that when I started wearing relaxed fit jeans.

LOL! Now you should lose those tighty-whiteys!!! :D UMP, you are always there to lighten the mood.... Thanks for that!! :smile:

JKTX21
04-03-2007, 02:30 PM
Sounds like you old timers need to be sure to keep us young bucks whipped in shape. Like it or not, we are the future when you are old and gray!

:D

jmac197
04-03-2007, 02:34 PM
Just trying to do my part.......wait who are you calling old......:)

Sodar
04-03-2007, 02:36 PM
Sounds like you old timers need to be sure to keep us young bucks whipped in shape. Like it or not, we are the future when you are old and gray!

:D

I think that JMac is definitely having his doubts!!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
04-03-2007, 02:37 PM
I am thinking about going to Loose Fit jeans next. probably this summer....

jmac197
04-03-2007, 02:42 PM
Yeah it may be some Hispanic-American women that is our future......



Not that there's anything wrong with that.....

I think that JMac is definitely having his doubts!!