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jimmer2880
01-20-2005, 03:14 PM
This one has BriEOD's name all over it!

"How to get rid of fire ants"
Take a large container of liquid oxygen and rig a small tube about 3/8 inch diameter to deliver the cryogenic liquid to the entrance of the fire ant mound. Spray about a liter or so onto the top of the mound, hitting as many insects as possible. They can't swarm you if they are frozen solid. Once the ants at the surface are frozen, continue to release liquid oxygen into the nest while slowly inserting the tube several inches into the opening.

Continue this process until about 1 to 2 liters of liquid is dispensed per 10 centimeters of fire ant mound diameter. Carefully shut off the liquid oxygen flow and remove the container to at least 200 feet away, preferrably crosswind from the nest. While the nest remains frozen solid, prepare about 1 liter of liquefied natural gas (LNG, also known as liquid methane) per 2 liters of liquid oxygen already dispensed into the nest.

Drive a stake into the ground about 2 feet past the frozen nest. Tie one end of a piece of steel wire clothes line at least 75 to 100 feet long to the stake. Install a cable clamp at the spot the wire passes over the entrance to the nest. Tie the other end to a high object such as a tree branch, with a slope of about 1 vertical foot per 5 horizontal, which would be 20 feet up with a 100 foot line. BE SURE the wire passes within 3 centimeters of the nest opening.

Take a railroad flare and install a pair of screw eyes on the side of the body so the flare can slide freely down the clothes line. Test the sliding action with the unlit flare and verify it slides smoothly down the line and stops directly over the nest opening. Adjust the position of the cable clamp until it stops with the flare almost touching the opening to the nest. Slide the unlit flare back uphill on the wire and secure it.

Slowly pour the LNG into the nest opening using a tube inserted an inch or two into the nest. This will also keep the upper nest frozen if it has started to thaw after the liquid oxygen application earlier. Clear all personnel and non-essential (or expensive) equipment in at least a 200 foot radius from the nest. Move all cars, trucks, and anything else that you don't want dented or with broken windows at least 1/8 mile away. Have a bulldozer or other heavy machinery parked next to the tree with the line and flare in it. The blade should be facing the ant nest and resting on the ground.

Practice getting out of the tree and under the bulldozer until you can do this comfortably in 2 seconds or less. Practice releasing the flare but do not do so yet.

Wait until the frost has started to thaw on top of the ant hill. Do not approach the ant hill and do not allow anyone else to come within 200 feet once the frost has started to thaw. Use binoculars or a spotting scope to verify this. Tell the curious to take cover behind and under something substantial.

Announce "Fire in the Hole", light the flare, and release it to slide down the wire to the nest. Calmly get out of the tree and under the bulldozer exactly as you practiced before. DO NOT JUMP as you might injure yourself and be unable to get under the bulldozer. Resist the temptation to look over the bulldozer blade as the flare reaches the ant nest. Cover your ears if you are not wearing hearing protection.

Wait for 2 minutes after the last boulders, rocks, and gravel have hit the ground and all that is left in the air is dust before emerging from beneath the bulldozer. A hard hat will not protect you from a 5 pound rock that went 400 feet into the air if it lands on your head.
Watch carefully for living ants in the dust. While most of the nest has been incinerated, there may have been pockets in the nest where the fuel/oxidizer ratio was too rich or too lean, or that did not initially freeze. The ants there may have survived and only been violently propelled into the lower atmosphere. They can continue to drift to earth for several minutes. They will be very angry, and they will sting anything they land on. Fortunately their numbers are normally fairly small.

If you got the fuel/oxidizer mixture balanced correctly, there might be a crater up to 15 feet deep and 10 feet across if the combustion front propagated into the very bottom of the nest.

Mag_Red
01-20-2005, 03:45 PM
Sounds about right! :headbang:

ski_king
01-20-2005, 04:07 PM
Very good........

....I wonder if the author of this is now a recipient of a Darwin Award.
If not, he probable will be someday.

BriEOD
01-20-2005, 04:08 PM
I think whoever wrote that is full of sh*t. Not even with 10 cases of C-4 could you get a crater that big. Those specs would kill the ants but that is an extremely large embellishment of the truth. A 500 lb MK-82 general purpose bomb that has 268 lbs of tritonal in it doesn't leave a crater that big. We used to place detonating cord (about the thickness of your cable on your mouse under a 4 foot x 3 foot box and fill it half diesel and half mo-gas (gasoline) and crack it off during air shows so it looks and sort of sounds like the planes as they fly by are dropping ordnance. You could stand 50-100 feet away and other than the big whoosh of heat you were in no danger from blast or fragmentation. That LNG would burn up the ants but you would have to tamp the hell out of it to even make a small crater...Sounds fishy to me.

jimmer2880
01-24-2005, 06:24 AM
I think whoever wrote that is full of sh*t. Not even with 10 cases of C-4 could you get a crater that big. Those specs would kill the ants but that is an extremely large embellishment of the truth. A 500 lb MK-82 general purpose bomb that has 268 lbs of tritonal in it doesn't leave a crater that big. We used to place detonating cord (about the thickness of your cable on your mouse under a 4 foot x 3 foot box and fill it half diesel and half mo-gas (gasoline) and crack it off during air shows so it looks and sort of sounds like the planes as they fly by are dropping ordnance. You could stand 50-100 feet away and other than the big whoosh of heat you were in no danger from blast or fragmentation. That LNG would burn up the ants but you would have to tamp the hell out of it to even make a small crater...Sounds fishy to me.

First, let me say I love your Avatar.

Second, Guess I should have sent this by your desk before posting it here.... I should have known it wasn't accurate, but what the heck, it sounded good didn't it?

BriEOD
01-24-2005, 06:37 AM
It does sound cool. However it's kind of like watching the movies, they are really exagerated.