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kjohnson
01-12-2005, 08:42 AM
Hey Guys, this is a serious question. After 13 years of marriage, my younger wife wants to have a baby. I am 48 (yeah, you heard it right, 48). Who's the oldest guy out there with a newborn and what does everybody think about my dilemna?

gene dobies
01-12-2005, 09:12 AM
What dilema, if it happens it happens. All of us must make compromises for each other. I don't think it is something so trivial that you should be discussing it here with total strangers.

People usually seek advice to something when they already know the answer.

tex
01-12-2005, 09:49 AM
Hey Guys, this is a serious question. After 13 years of marriage, my younger wife wants to have a baby. I am 48 (yeah, you heard it right, 48). Who's the oldest guy out there with a newborn and what does everybody think about my dilemna?

What makes you think that you have any control over it? Unless you run like hell. I was 36 and my wife was 39 when we had our 1st and only. Do you have any others and how old is the younger wife? Any pictures?

mitch
01-12-2005, 10:12 AM
Gene, It's a 'discussion' board, I've noticed recently you're having a little trouble grasping that concept. If he feels comfortable discussing it here, so be it. Remember, he asked for advice, not be lectured on what he can and can't discuss and where. It's the off-season for most of us, and topics are a bit tougher to come by ;) Stepping off my soapbox now, sorry for the ramble folks.
Kjohnson, That's a tough one, I've got one in HS now, and 2 in 7th grade, and I'm 40, tough to imagine same situation and approaching mid to upper sixties....however......Certainly doable and if you have no kids to date, I say go for it! If you have some from a previous etc......you've got some thinking to do. You'll make the right decision. Tex, pics? LMAO :uglyhamme

MarkP
01-12-2005, 10:40 AM
GOOOOOOOOOO FOR IT..:banana:

Leroy
01-12-2005, 11:11 AM
Hey, 48 doesn't seem so old, from 44! I was just talking with a person from work, newly married with a 2 year old at 48. I think the different age groups of has something to offer kids, 20's parents vs 40's parents for example. Go for it, after 13 years of marriage it's time.

east tx skier
01-12-2005, 11:23 AM
My father was 63 when I was born (mom was 31). I think he made the right decision. He always said it kept him feeling young. He was at a point in his life where he was working less and could spend more time with the kids. That was certainly good for the kid (me).

mitch
01-12-2005, 11:46 AM
East tex, Didn't think about the working less part, good point!

gene dobies
01-12-2005, 11:52 AM
Gene, It's a 'discussion' board, I've noticed recently you're having a little trouble grasping that concept. If he feels comfortable discussing it here, so be it. Remember, he asked for advice, not be lectured on what he can and can't discuss and where. It's the off-season for most of us, and topics are a bit tougher to come by ;) Stepping off my soapbox now, sorry for the ramble folks.
Kjohnson, That's a tough one, I've got one in HS now, and 2 in 7th grade, and I'm 40, tough to imagine same situation and approaching mid to upper sixties....however......Certainly doable and if you have no kids to date, I say go for it! If you have some from a previous etc......you've got some thinking to do. You'll make the right decision. Tex, pics? LMAO :uglyhamme
It is a discussion board Mitch and you should leave others alone when they are responding to someone that asked for people's opinions, which is what I gave him.

Vern Swieringa
01-12-2005, 12:05 PM
KJohnson,

What caught my attention was the way you worded your question. Calling your circumstances a "dilema" says a lot about how you already feel about it. Your feelings are the most important thing to deal with. You didn't say if you had other children, if you do, you have a better understanding what it is to create a new life. It's a huge responsibility and privilege all bundled up in one little package. My advice is that you continue looking seriously into your own heart. That's where you'll get the best answer to your question :twocents:

mitch
01-12-2005, 12:15 PM
Sorry Gene. The Reverend Dobies act was wearing on me and my meds hadn't kicked in just yet. I feel better now :wavey:

jimmer2880
01-12-2005, 12:38 PM
To me, the bigger issue is health of the mother & child during the entire pregnancy/delivery process. I'm more concerned with early delivery possibilities from age. While they do survive, what they don't tell you is how well do they survive later on in life.

I'm with the rest though... it's HER age that matters most.

gene dobies
01-12-2005, 02:21 PM
Sorry Gene. The Reverend Dobies act was wearing on me and my meds hadn't kicked in just yet. I feel better now :wavey:

If you were you would not have mocked me by calling me Reverand and making believe it was your meds that made you act that way. I enjoy being on this board and am hurt that you would call me a name. This IS a discussion board and if you didn't like what I had to say you could of ignored it. I did not tell the person he could not post on this board, I am not the administrator. I merely gave my opinion as requested. Anyone can chose to read or ignore these posts. The beauty of a discussion board is that we can all have our input without fear of being riduculed by someone. Yes I do have old fashioned beliefs and they will come out in some of my posts, just as your beliefs will come out in your posts but no one should be ridiculed for posting them. I made no remarks about you personally and I trust you will not do that to me again.
What I meant to KJohnson is that my belief was that something like that shouldn't be discussed here and that should be between two people or close and dear friends. It doesn't mean I am right or I am wrong it is just my opinion. If someone is asking advice or an opinion and I happen to have one and feel strong enough about the subject I will respond to a post. As you must have noticed I hold personal things in my life to be just that and keep my personal life off the board.
My apologies to anyone else reading the posts of late if I have offended anyone, I certainly did not intend to. And I do enjoy this board very much and feel like a part of it..... Thanks

tex
01-12-2005, 02:48 PM
To me, the bigger issue is health of the mother & child during the entire pregnancy/delivery process. I'm more concerned with early delivery possibilities from age. While they do survive, what they don't tell you is how well do they survive later on in life.

I'm with the rest though... it's HER age that matters most.
i agree-
once again, i ask the 2 important questions-age and pics?

east tx skier
01-12-2005, 03:15 PM
I think cabin (ski) fever has officially set in.

tex
01-12-2005, 03:20 PM
Can we all go to the "It's Friday and I need a drink..." thread and discuss our problems over a refreshing adult beverage?

east tx skier
01-12-2005, 03:24 PM
Indeed. It's 73 outside, but will be dark before I can get the boat the lake. By this weekend, the highs will be in the forties.

"Oh cruel fate, why do you mock me!"
-HJS

tex
01-12-2005, 03:54 PM
Indeed. It's 73 outside, but will be dark before I can get the boat the lake. By this weekend, the highs will be in the forties.

"Oh cruel fate, why do you mock me!"
-HJS
By the weekend I will be knee deep in Montana powder snowboarding! Yes with a botabag!

bcampbe7
01-12-2005, 03:59 PM
By the weekend I will be knee deep in Montana powder snowboarding! Yes with a botabag!


Damn Tex, just twist the knife when you stab me why don't you...

tex
01-12-2005, 04:03 PM
Damn Tex, just twist the knife when you stab me why don't you...

did i mention, someone else is paying my airfare and lodging. the wife is staying home with the squid. just the boys and cocktails. just like spring break(except-no getting laid).

pdoppenheim
01-12-2005, 04:25 PM
Hey Guys, this is a serious question. After 13 years of marriage, my younger wife wants to have a baby. I am 48 (yeah, you heard it right, 48). Who's the oldest guy out there with a newborn and what does everybody think about my dilemna?

I'm 59. I have a son 22 and a daughter 14. You can do the math. I was older than most when my son was born and older than dirt when my daughter was born. I did have a lot of fears and reservations about having another at so old an age. To top it off, since I had such a good time with my son, I wasn't sure I would know what to do with a girl.

Boy, was I wrong all the way around. I have (after my wife) a best buddy in the house (my son lives in another city now) to play with. I raised her right and there's no motorcycle too loud or boat too fast (used ot have a Donzi) for her to enjoy. The fact that she was 2004 Michigan Girls Novice State Champ in slalom doesn't hurt either. When she won her first cash prize ($25.00) she handed it to me and told me it was to be the downpayment on a new MasterCraft.

If you'd like to email me directly at pdoppenheim@comcast.net you can do that. If you'd like to talk we can do that too. I do understand. It is scary, but it's not terminal. You will get through it.

By the way, I respect you for reaching out to our community for assistance in dealing with your concerns. People should go where ever they have a resource to get assistance. You chose this place. Good for you. Some people get advice from strangers on airplanes or bartenders. You went to a community of MasterCraft owners and skiers. I can't think of a better place.

Best of luck to you and please feel free to contact me if you think I can help.

PS. She got the boat.

east tx skier
01-12-2005, 05:21 PM
By the weekend I will be knee deep in Montana powder snowboarding! Yes with a botabag!

I'm getting antsy. Going to Aspen/Snowmass, CO for a week in March. These are my old stomping grounds, but I haven't been in 8 years. Can't wait!

gene dobies
01-12-2005, 08:01 PM
Mitch,,,,,,,,, Amen I say unto you my son,,,,, I apologize,,,,,, I seen the light brother.... I will keep it light,,,,

André
01-12-2005, 08:15 PM
I'm 59. I have a son 22 and a daughter 14. You can do the math. I was older than most when my son was born and older than dirt when my daughter was born. I did have a lot of fears and reservations about having another at so old an age. To top it off, since I had such a good time with my son, I wasn't sure I would know what to do with a girl.

Boy, was I wrong all the way around. I have (after my wife) a best buddy in the house (my son lives in another city now) to play with. I raised her right and there's no motorcycle too loud or boat too fast (used ot have a Donzi) for her to enjoy. The fact that she was 2004 Michigan Girls Novice State Champ in slalom doesn't hurt either. When she won her first cash prize ($25.00) she handed it to me and told me it was to be the downpayment on a new MasterCraft.

If you'd like to email me directly at pdoppenheim@comcast.net you can do that. If you'd like to talk we can do that too. I do understand. It is scary, but it's not terminal. You will get through it.

By the way, I respect you for reaching out to our community for assistance in dealing with your concerns. People should go where ever they have a resource to get assistance. You chose this place. Good for you. Some people get advice from strangers on airplanes or bartenders. You went to a community of MasterCraft owners and skiers. I can't think of a better place.

Best of luck to you and please feel free to contact me if you think I can help.

PS. She got the boat.

Now, where else but here could you get such an intelligent and good advices as that! Well written too!
Kjohnson
Good luck with your dilema! Not easy...I know this 40 years old guy with a 35 years old girl,no kids,she'd like one,he feels too old... :cry: :cry:

mitch
01-12-2005, 08:24 PM
Gene, Good one! We're all here to have fun, and help each other. Never meant to offend. I can feel the love now. :D

milkmania
01-12-2005, 09:15 PM
I'm 39 with a sophomore son in college, a third grade daughter, and a first grade son....

I love it and would have it no other way.


practice, practice, practice

dmac
01-12-2005, 09:27 PM
kjohnson - follow your heart. kiddos are a blessing and not a burden, regardless of all the variables you have to address. i don't think you have a dilema. both of mine will be in college in the fall (they overlap for one year only thankfully), that is a dilema, but one that I chedrish. :o

dmac
01-12-2005, 09:28 PM
chedrish
cherish

need spellcheck after the wine starts to kick in .

Danny R
01-12-2005, 09:45 PM
I dont know if this will help but I am 50 yrs old with 4 children 2 boys 13 & 11 and 2 girls 7 & 5. Its always interesting an very seldom boring I believe they are keeping me young.

Now if I could only get them to all get jobs.

sandsslot
01-12-2005, 09:50 PM
I carry a fairly widde bandwidth as I like to spread out the fun...I'm 46, have a 28 year old son, 14 year old daughter, and a 12 year old son.

I can't wait!

dmac
01-12-2005, 10:14 PM
Now if I could only get them to all get jobs.
Amen to that! Fortunately my HS senior is employed so we aren't shelling out cash every other day for gas or whatever.

lakes Rick
01-12-2005, 10:56 PM
Just think, if she leaves you for a younger man, you will be paying child support till you are over 70!!!!!!!!!!

team north
01-13-2005, 04:37 PM
i had a kid 1 1/2 yrs ago although i'm only 34 it is the best thing in the world for ME. He's the only one i would trade my boat for including wife!!! But if it feels right do it if it doesn't well then you gotta talk to the little lady. Just remeber you don't want to have a baby and resent it.

roddydog
01-15-2005, 03:42 PM
Right on Northman. We were both in our forties when we had our first, just over a year ago (Riley Clare) and she is the most spectacular thing in my life. I was a little scared at first but now I just adore her.
Embrace life, don't run away from it.

Brent
01-15-2005, 04:54 PM
A couple of things

Older parents have more resourses & patiance(less energy, but oh well)!

I was Hesitant about having a child (lots of responsiblity) ,but @ 36 had a little girl & have no regrets (children help keep you young at heart )! She will be 10 in may.

My brother is 54 & has a 6 & 4 year old , no problem(wife is 38).

If your on this board, then watersports come in to the equation, waterski/wakeboarding are one of the few sports you can do as a family without anyone having worry about not doing their best, only one person on the water @ a time. baby can ride in the boat almost immediatly(engine noise genreally put them to sleep).

Having children is a very big change , but not for the worse just different & better.

Thanks for the topic it's nice to realise how lucky i am!

good luck
Brent

jimmer2880
01-17-2005, 07:48 AM
Please don't kill me... but - i have to say it...


just think. If you have a girl at this age, by the time she's on "Girls Gone Wild", you won't know how to work a computer & will never know.

I'm thinking that's a good thing! :friday:

captkidd
01-19-2005, 01:36 PM
May as well chime in my :twocents: . I was almost 41 when my son was born (my wife was 33); he's 3 now. If I could have chosen exactly when we would have had kids I probably would have preferred to have them sooner, but since you can't order them on-line it wasn't quite that simple. I have absolutely no regrets about having kids; it is without a doubt the most wonderful experience of our lives (other than our relationship with Christ). We often ask ourselves what we did before he came along, but neither of us can remember because we really don't want to. I can't imagine life without him.

My only "regret" is that I know I'm not as young as I used to be, I don't have the energy I used to have, and I won't be around for him as long as I'd like to be. When he's in high school, I'll probably look more like his grandfather, at least compared to some of his friends' fathers. My father is 20 years older than me, so hopefully he'll be around until I'm at least in my 60's. I can only hope to be around until my son is in his 40's.

All that said, he really does keep me feeling younger. We wrestle at night and he follows me everywhere I go (including the bathroom). His favorite word is "Why?", which can get annoying, but it would be a lot worse if he didn't ask anything at all.

I really hope that you don't look at this as a dilemma. It's certainly not an easy decision, but your age shouldn't be the biggest concern. If you want children and if you're convinced that you can give them the love they want, need, and require, then by all means go for it. If you're only going to do it to appease your wife, and if you're going to be one of those fathers who only gives their children financial support and just minimal attention, then definitely don't do it. There are far too many absentee fathers who live with their children already; the kids deserve better.

I too appreciate the fact that you care enough about our opinions that you asked for them. From the sounds of it, there are a lot of good fathers on here and I think they've given you some good advice. However, I hope you won't make this decision based solely on our advice. (man, I'm sure long-winded today)

Scot
01-19-2005, 06:38 PM
I always say ride 'em till they break!..... Oh crap, nevermind, that's my advice about dirt bikes!
About having a little one.... They are with out a doubt the best thing can can happen to your life if you are already happy, well grounded person.... I've heard that people without kids are the real orphans.... (I see this with some friends of ours, but respect their decision not to be parents...). I Couldn't imagine life without my now 17 year old son........ If your relationship with your wife is solid, GO FOR IT! However, don't look for a baby to "fix" anything.....

NeilM
01-19-2005, 10:50 PM
Just think, if she leaves you for a younger man, you will be paying child support till you are over 70!!!!!!!!!!

Man, you crack me up! LMAO

NeilM
01-19-2005, 10:54 PM
Oh yeah.. I really am not in a position to comment on kjohnson's question... we had both of ours before I was 30...

Leroy
01-19-2005, 11:38 PM
Hey kjohnson; after all of this great advice what are you thinking?

:toast:

Hey Guys, this is a serious question. After 13 years of marriage, my younger wife wants to have a baby. I am 48 (yeah, you heard it right, 48). Who's the oldest guy out there with a newborn and what does everybody think about my dilemna?

pdoppenheim
01-27-2005, 12:16 PM
Please tell us the rest of the story. How are you and your wife doing?

kjohnson
06-05-2006, 09:04 AM
Getting divorced in three weeks.

Evan Jones
06-05-2006, 09:21 AM
Seriously ? I guess we know which direction you went in.

kjohnson
06-05-2006, 09:26 AM
Seriously.