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jlf
11-18-2006, 09:48 AM
I am so sad to tell everyone that Lance and I lost our baby. There isn't much to say, I had an ultrasound at seven weeks and they could not hear or find the heartbeat and told me it would only be a matter of time until my body started to pass the baby naturally. It took three days and the spotting and cramping began. We are very sad as we had been trying so long to become parents. We will not give up, as soon as my body is back to healthy conditions we'll begin to try again. It is unfortunate it had to happen at the holiday times, I think it makes it a bit harder for everyone. We have a wonderful support system of family and friends here to help us though this time. I know it happens for a reason and that plenty of people go through this, but it doesn't make it any less painful for us.

Maristar210
11-18-2006, 09:54 AM
I am so sad to tell everyone that Lance and I lost our baby. There isn't much to say, I had an ultrasound at seven weeks and they could not hear or find the heartbeat and told me it would only be a matter of time until my body started to pass the baby naturally. It took three days and the spotting and cramping began. We are very sad as we had been trying so long to become parents. We will not give up, as soon as my body is back to healthy conditions we'll begin to try again. It is unfortunate it had to happen at the holiday times, I think it makes it a bit harder for everyone. We have a wonderful support system of family and friends here to help us though this time. I know it happens for a reason and that plenty of people go through this, but it doesn't make it any less painful for us.


JLF-

I am very sorry to hear this. My wife and I had several miscarriages before Nick came along. I also lost a son at three months to SIDS. This will not help comfort you but you should at least be aware there are places you can go, lots of things online and the support you will get here from your fellow TMCers.

I am sorry for your loss, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Steve

dapicatti
11-18-2006, 09:54 AM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Just know that there are lots of us out here praying for you and your family.

God Bless

TMCNo1
11-18-2006, 10:07 AM
Keep the faith, it will happen someday.

Mag_Red
11-18-2006, 10:11 AM
I'm so sad to hear this:( Mag just said a player for you all. It'll Happen.

kycat2007
11-18-2006, 10:16 AM
Sorry to hear about the loss. We tend to hear more and more of this happening. I hope that you can use the holidays to spend with your loved ones and I know you will have sucess in the future.

jlf
11-18-2006, 10:17 AM
I'm so sad to hear this:( Mag just said a player for you all. It'll Happen.
Are you still visiting the neighbors church? Guess this means there should be no problems visiting you next Sept for MM3. Hint Hint I have vacation the same week as this year so what a great time to plan MM3. We'll keep the faith and I've said a few extra prayers myself.

Hoosier Bob
11-18-2006, 10:20 AM
Very very sorry. I never knew what that entailed until experiencing it first hand. Very diificult time for me. Take care and look forward you guys deserve great things!
Bob

OhioProstar
11-18-2006, 10:22 AM
JLF - My heart sunk when I read your post. Keep strong, as life has a plan for everyone of us.

east tx skier
11-18-2006, 10:31 AM
JLF, I was very sorry to read of your loss. We have had several close to us who have gone through the same thing. Please accept my sympathies and know that we are thinking of you all.

whitedog
11-18-2006, 10:49 AM
Sorry to hear the sad news. Keep up the faith and you will be parents in the future. I understand how you and Lance must feel , we went though 2 miscarages between our 2 kids and our daughter was a twin, we lost the second baby at 5 months into the pregnency. You and Lance are in our prayers.

TX.X-30 fan
11-18-2006, 11:04 AM
our prayers are with u both. Two miscarriages later we have two beautiful boys.

Workin' 4 Toys
11-18-2006, 11:23 AM
JLF, I am very sad to hear this......God Bless...

Leroy
11-18-2006, 11:59 AM
Very sorry to hear this and best wishes in your recovery. If you talk about this you will find it happens much more than you would imagine. We lost a baby at `3 months while in Belgium in 2002, staying strong in our faith and talking to others helped us through.

stevo137
11-18-2006, 02:00 PM
JLF, Mrs. and I are very sad to hear the news.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you two.

milkmania
11-18-2006, 02:06 PM
Carissa,
I got your message this morning, and I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.

Here's a group hug from the guys http://deephousepage.com/smilies/grouphug.gif

Stay strong and stay after it, You and Lance will make great parents.

WTRSK1R
11-18-2006, 03:45 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss. As many others have said, keep the faith and you will get through this.

Steve

tex
11-18-2006, 04:31 PM
JLF-Sorry to hear about your loss. We will keep you and your family in out thoughts.

PendO
11-18-2006, 05:28 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss, my best friend and his wife went thru a simmilar scenario a year ago and are now in the thrid trimester ... I know the miscarriage was very difficult for her to cope with emotionally, as a father I cannot fathom the depths of your loss, we are 8 weeks along and have already named her (Sonja)... to us "she" became our child when we viewed the positive pregnancy test ... aside from giving cliched advice I can only say that we will keep you and your husband in our prayers ... as hard as it must be, you show a tremendous ammount of strength by letting us in on this very tough and personal loss ... it is natural to grieve, take time to reflect, take time to shed tears ... we will all be lookng forward to your future.

Casey & Heather

Bruce
11-18-2006, 07:18 PM
I lack the words to express my sorrow or ease your grief. My daughter miscarried and my granddaughter who is expecting twins just had a problem and will probably have to go on bed rest. The compassion and Christian support I have seen for you all has moved me greatlyI'm proud to call these folks friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. You are truly in our prayers.
Bruce & Jean

6ballsisall
11-18-2006, 08:43 PM
I am so sad for you two. A prayer has been said for the two of you. God will bless you again soon with a beautiful child.

JohnnyB
11-18-2006, 09:02 PM
My heart sank when I read your post. My wife and I lost 3 between our 1st and 2nd daughter. Until it happens to you and you begin talking to others about it, you really don't realize how common it is.

I can remember where I was each time I got the news.....

jakethebt
11-18-2006, 10:23 PM
I am very sorry to hear of you loss.

Lamentations 3:21-23
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfullness.

bcampbe7
11-18-2006, 10:37 PM
I am so sorry to hear this Carissa.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Lance.

jlf
11-19-2006, 08:48 AM
Thank you to everyone!! As many of you have said, it happens a lot more than you may think. I am trying to stay strong, I look at it this way, if I totally fall apart it will take me longer to heal which means it will be longer before we can get back in the saddle and start trying again. I am very sad, we were both looking forward to this baby, as one of you said, it was our baby as soon as we saw the two pink lines. It seems as we share our sad news, we seem to dredge up horrible memories for those who have also lost a baby, it seems almost everyone we know has had a similar situation. I can't imagine it ever gets easier. It is comforting, somewhat, to hear so many other have experienced this, it means I am not alone and there is more support out there than I'll know what to do with.

I am also very sorry to hear so many have had to go through this, it is horrible. Thank you all for the prayers, they mean a lot.

jlf
11-19-2006, 09:23 AM
On top of everything going on emotionally, our puppy decided he had been neglected because Lance and I had been spending several days in the hospital and I wans't not feeling well so I only slept on the couch so our puppy decided to act out for attention. This is the center of my living room carpet. This is smack dab in the middle no chance of putting furnature over it or a rug. We will now be ripping out our 4 year old carpet to replace it with new.

H20skeefreek
11-19-2006, 03:47 PM
A good carpet guy can fix that and make it look almost as good as new. Sorry to hear the bad news. My suggestion is to pray about it, and God will help you to heal.

suedv
11-19-2006, 04:18 PM
Sorry to hear about your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

milkmania
11-19-2006, 04:20 PM
A good carpet guy can fix that and make it look almost as good as new.

I've seen it done and I agree

jlf
11-20-2006, 08:01 AM
thank you again to everybody and for their prayers. I know bad things happen for a reason. as for the carpet, well, we plan on ripping it out and putting new down and we are going to extend our hardwood floor more, so we'll have less carpet.

We are hanging in there. We really no other option.

RexDog1
11-20-2006, 09:43 AM
God Bless……..

My thought and prayers to you both……

Upper Michigan Prostar190
11-20-2006, 10:27 AM
WOW, I have been offline until this morning, just saw this thread. :( I am very sorry to hear this Lance and Carissa. I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I cant imagine what you are expereincing now. You have my deepest sympathy. Hang in there. I know its a sad time for you both, but things will come around. Keep the faith.

Don

erkoehler
11-20-2006, 11:20 AM
Very sorry to hear this Lance and Carissa, my prayers are with you....:o

ttu
11-20-2006, 11:24 AM
my heart goes out to you.

we went thru a very similar thing. lost two boys with a stillborn and then had a miscarriage. it is very difficult on the both of you.

you always ask why to me? there are no good answers, trust me in that.

pm me if i can be of any help.

db

Rockman
11-20-2006, 11:48 AM
C&L,

Our thoughts and prayers go out to you guys. Hang in there and things will work out. Get healthy and know that we are all here for you!

Ric
11-20-2006, 12:24 PM
Our sincere sympathies and my prayers go out to you and your husband. Stay strong.





I third the carpet fix, I just had a carpet guy cut out some patches from a closet and fix a game room and you'd have to be looking for it to find any sign of the patchwork.... probably run you about 75-100 for the fix

jimmer2880
11-20-2006, 12:48 PM
While I can't imagine how you feel, I do have 2 sets of very close friends who have lost too many for us to keep count. The only I can say is what everyone else has already said. Keep your faith & find places where you can talk to other people first hand who have been through this - be it online or in person.

Now for that dog... If anyone would ever move the carpet under the rocking chair in our living room, they'd find a hole that looks just like that one. Even though it can be patched, sounds like a great excuse for new carpet & paint in the room :)

take care - Linda & My prayers are with you.

jlf
11-21-2006, 09:21 AM
It is very comforting to know we have so many thinking of us thought our hard time. I knew I was an addict here for a reason. I met many of you at MM and I feel as though we developed some life long friendships there. Who ever thought owning a boat, would mean so many friends to surround yourself with.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
11-21-2006, 09:30 AM
I hear you Carissa. This place is strong. :) Milk and I talked about that at Mag Mania too. I was amazed at the quality people that comprise the membership here.......(and then I met Hoosier Bob and that threw that "quality" theory right out the window!;) )

you and Lance will both be fine. Just keep the faith, things will work out for the best.

pilot02
11-21-2006, 09:47 AM
Sorry to hear about your loss (Carissa and Lance.) I know ya'll are disappointed but I'm sure it will work out when it's supposed to...

jlf
11-22-2006, 10:20 AM
We had a second ultra sound yesterday to verify the original one was correct and as much as I was hoping and praying for a different outcome the second ultra sound showed the same thing. There has been no growth of the fetus since last week and still no heartbeat so now it is just a matter of time before I will begin to pass the material naturally. The doctors do not want to remove the material sergically because the risks outway the benefits at my early stage. Had I been farther along they would take the baby surgically (D & C). So now the waiting begins.

jlf
11-22-2006, 10:23 AM
Lance and I were going to take a cruise in March before we knew I was pregnant. I am trying to encourage him to consider the cruise again. I really think we could use the get away and besides about that time would be when the doctors said we could start to try again. They recommended waiting three months before trying again. By then I'll be sick of winter and ready for summer and the boat again.

herringtech
11-24-2006, 09:49 AM
Carissa and Lance, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We too have lost three children to miscarriages. We know what you are going through. I would encourage you to take that cruise. Just make sure there is enough time to heal (emotionally) before you do.

After our third loss, we decided to take a Holiday trip to Vegas last year. And lets just say what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. Our little girl is now 3 months old. After our third loss we started praying and trusting. A specific verse in the New Testiment (Sorry for the religion LakePirate) might give you comfort. Luke 1:45 "Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said will be accomplished"

Some last bits of advice: Dont listent to the people who say "its for the better" or "God knew something was wrong and took him/her", it doesn't help. It is peoples awkward attempt to help, but they cannot understand nor do they want to understand the pain you two are going through. When they ask how you are doing, they are secretly hoping you don't really tell them, they just want you to know they are concerned about you. The best response to that question is "as good as can be expected". It requires no follow up.

I hope this helps a little, My wife and I will be praying for you and Lance.

C36
11-24-2006, 10:40 PM
My deepest sympathy goes out to you both.

When my wife miscarried during her second pregnancy, someone in our support network (one of the ministers in our church) shared the following poem with us. It seemed to capture a lot of the things we were feeling, but not able to put into words ourselves. This poem offered us some comfort that others had similar deep feels of loss and mourning.

In sharing it with you both, I hope it offers you some comfort as well. We will send prayers your way and hope that you both have a strong support network there for you.

______________________

“Is it proper to cry?”

Is it proper to cry
for a baby too small
for a coffin?
Yes, I think it is.
Does Jesus have
my too-small baby
in His tender arms?
Yes, I think He does.
There is so much I do not know
about you, my child –
He, she? Quiet or restless?
Will I recognize
someone I knew so little about
yet loved so much?
Yes, I think I will.
Can we say
your life was worth nothing
because your stay was so short?
Can we say
we loved you any less
because we never held you?
No, I think not.
Ah, sweet, small child.
Can I say
that loving you is like loving God?
Loving – yet not seeing
Holding – yet not touching
Caressing – yet separated by the chasm of time.
No tombstone marks your sojourn
and only God recorded your name.
I had neither opportunity
nor capability
to say good-bye.
Not saying good-bye
is just as hard
as saying good-bye.
The preparations are halted,
the royal guest was called away.
The banquet was canceled.
Just moved. Just moved.
Yet a tear remains
where baby should have been.
Dedicated to my baby
this September 17, 1983
Age: -6 months
Sex: unknown
Weight: unknown
Colour of eyes: unknown
Loved: by the Father, Son and
Holy Spirit and by Mommy
and Daddy

- Bob Neudorf

jlf
11-28-2006, 08:46 AM
My deepest sympathy goes out to you both.

When my wife miscarried during her second pregnancy, someone in our support network (one of the ministers in our church) shared the following poem with us. It seemed to capture a lot of the things we were feeling, but not able to put into words ourselves. This poem offered us some comfort that others had similar deep feels of loss and mourning.

In sharing it with you both, I hope it offers you some comfort as well. We will send prayers your way and hope that you both have a strong support network there for you.

______________________

“Is it proper to cry?”

Is it proper to cry
for a baby too small
for a coffin?
Yes, I think it is.
Does Jesus have
my too-small baby
in His tender arms?
Yes, I think He does.
There is so much I do not know
about you, my child –
He, she? Quiet or restless?
Will I recognize
someone I knew so little about
yet loved so much?
Yes, I think I will.
Can we say
your life was worth nothing
because your stay was so short?
Can we say
we loved you any less
because we never held you?
No, I think not.
Ah, sweet, small child.
Can I say
that loving you is like loving God?
Loving – yet not seeing
Holding – yet not touching
Caressing – yet separated by the chasm of time.
No tombstone marks your sojourn
and only God recorded your name.
I had neither opportunity
nor capability
to say good-bye.
Not saying good-bye
is just as hard
as saying good-bye.
The preparations are halted,
the royal guest was called away.
The banquet was canceled.
Just moved. Just moved.
Yet a tear remains
where baby should have been.
Dedicated to my baby
this September 17, 1983
Age: -6 months
Sex: unknown
Weight: unknown
Colour of eyes: unknown
Loved: by the Father, Son and
Holy Spirit and by Mommy
and Daddy

- Bob Neudorf
Thank you, you are right that poem was able to put some of the feelings we am going through into words. We are doing "as well as expected". The holidays are sort of tough because we both wanted to give gifts to the unborn baby and we were planning out our nursery. I guess the nice thing about the holidays is that all our family is close and here to support us.

ski_king
11-28-2006, 09:19 AM
You have my sympathy.
We went thru the same thing 18 years ago. It is difficult, but it will heal with time.