PDA

View Full Version : The "official" how UMP met the Mrs. thread


Maristar210
10-23-2006, 01:56 PM
A young woman in Cheboygan was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Straits. She went to the Mackinaw Bridge and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the rail, crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer,he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy." The girl nodded yes. After all,what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning. That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by
the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked "I have an
arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get food and
a trip to Europe, and he's screw**g me." "He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Mackinaw Island Ferry."

Just joking UMP
Steve

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-23-2006, 02:01 PM
:uglyhamme :uglyhamme :uglyhamme AWESOME Staristar!!! Let me tell you, the bilge area of that mackinac ferry boat wasnt like Jrandols!:D

6ballsisall
10-23-2006, 02:39 PM
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:uglyhamme :uglyhamme :uglyhamme

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-26-2006, 08:55 PM
Are you sure this is how it really happend Staristar??

Chief
10-26-2006, 08:57 PM
God Bless the Sailors!

Maristar210
07-23-2007, 04:09 PM
:D UMP- Ster has "blessed" many awomen in the fashion

Sodar
07-23-2007, 04:10 PM
:D UMP- Ster has "blessed" many awomen in the fashion

All of them have been Hukers! :D

Maristar210
07-23-2007, 04:16 PM
All of them have been Hukers! :D


Haven't we all at one time or another? I let a chick buy me a bunch of drinks cause I knew she wanted to see me in the Speedo. I could tell. She wanted it.

Steve !!!! wake up your gonna be late!!!!!


OOOOO What???

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-23-2007, 04:22 PM
Dont disclose my tricks of the trade gentlemen. UMP is smoooooth Rico Sauve type of guy. you gotta walk the walk AND talk the talk. its the secret to success. the best part is, I am so good at that routine now that I can convice chicks that my prostar 190 is an ocean going vessel hauling very expensive export water skis to the tropics and that she can catch a ride with me there as long as she doesnt tell anyone. and the best part is the boat always has "mechanical problems" about a mile off shore, and the only way to fix that is to put pressure on the engine cover for a while and return home otherwise we could get stranded at sea. then I promise to try again the next day. :cool: :D

03 35th Anniversary
07-23-2007, 10:22 PM
Ump have you ever though of opening a trade/training school???:D :D :D

tex
07-23-2007, 11:32 PM
Way to go Ump!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 08:33 AM
Ump have you ever though of opening a trade/training school???:D :D :D
It has occured to me. I could make hundreds. But I am too busy trying to get my "Double your IQ or NO money back" program out on the market. thats the one thats gonna make me rich. :cool:

Maristar210
07-24-2007, 08:46 AM
It has occured to me. I could make hundreds. But I am too busy trying to get my "Double your IQ or NO money back" program out on the market. thats the one thats gonna make me rich. :cool:


I hate to break it to you my friend but zero plus zero is still zero 8p 8p

03 35th Anniversary
07-24-2007, 09:09 AM
I hate to break it to you my friend but zero plus zero is still zero 8p 8p
Anybody who would buy something like that from UMP teaching them to write their name would be double their IQ.:D :D

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 09:16 AM
DING! Fries are done.

betsy&david Harrison
07-24-2007, 09:16 AM
Steve, after reading your entry post, I truly think you could write "chick" books. :)

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 09:17 AM
Steve, after reading your entry post, I truly think you could write "chick" books. :)
"chick" books????? :confused:

betsy&david Harrison
07-24-2007, 09:18 AM
novels....good smut reading books

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 09:21 AM
novels....good smut reading books
I betcha ya got Staristar's attention this morning. ;)

03 35th Anniversary
07-24-2007, 09:21 AM
novels....good smut reading books
Do you mean those books you can buy at the check out counter? Then girls read them try to factor the story into their life, and then it just mess their heads up really bad........

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 09:28 AM
Do you mean those books you can buy at the check out counter? Then girls read them try to factor the story into their life, and then it just mess their heads up really bad........
so thats how that happens!

03 35th Anniversary
07-24-2007, 09:32 AM
so thats how that happens!
I am not going to say that is the only way........But I will say its like dumping gas on a fire..........:firejump:

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 09:53 AM
I am not going to say that is the only way........But I will say its like dumping gas on a fire..........:firejump:
and here all this time I thought it was from me losing too much at the track, holding weekend card games with my pals at my house until 4 am, beer drinking, not cutting the lawn, hanging my RC airplane from the ceiling in the living room, leaving my dirty clothes on the floor, putting my dirty socks on the computer desk, .:confused:

03 35th Anniversary
07-24-2007, 09:57 AM
and here all this time I thought it was from me losing too much at the track, holding weekend card games with my pals at my house until 4 am, beer drinking, not cutting the lawn, hanging my RC airplane from the ceiling in the living room, leaving my dirty clothes on the floor, putting my dirty socks on the computer desk, .:confused:
You must have missed the part where the post said,"I am not going to say that is the only way":D 8p

tex
07-24-2007, 09:58 AM
I met Mrs. Tex at a ski show. Imagine that!

Maristar210
07-24-2007, 10:26 AM
Steve, after reading your entry post, I truly think you could write "chick" books. :)


No way Betsy. That would screw up the gig I got writing for Penthouse Forum :D

"He held her closey against the nape of his heck, her body trembling with each pass of his fingertips across her lower spine... her heart racing with anticipation as she slowly ......"


Yeah that's proabaly enough. Wouldn't want UMP to blow (no pun intended) a gasket :D


S

fintek9
07-24-2007, 10:42 AM
His cape is probly standing at full mast right now! blaming it on the wind.:o

03 35th Anniversary
07-24-2007, 10:53 AM
No way Betsy. That would screw up the gig I got writing for Penthouse Forum :D

"He held her closey against the nape of his heck, her body trembling with each pass of his fingertips across her lower spine... her heart racing with anticipation as she slowly ......"


Yeah that's proabaly enough. Wouldn't want UMP to blow (no pun intended) a gasket :D


S

Its just not the same without pictures.............................:( But I'm going to go take a cold shower anyways........

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-24-2007, 11:05 AM
No way Betsy. That would screw up the gig I got writing for Penthouse Forum :D

"He held her closey against the nape of his heck, her body trembling with each pass of his fingertips across her lower spine... her heart racing with anticipation as she slowly ......"


Yeah that's proabaly enough. Wouldn't want UMP to blow (no pun intended) a gasket :D


S
HAH!!! LOL!!!! :uglyhamme you guys missed it at MM2 when I was using that style to describe a barefoot trick for Hoosier bob at his request. it was freakin hilarious!!