PDA

View Full Version : The OFFICIAL "FLETCH" thread!


Pages : [1] 2

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 03:19 PM
Alright, Ric this is for you, as far as you know, you deserve it, here it is, the official FLETCH THREAD!!:toast: :headbang:

all things Fletch will be talked about here!:D


"Who is it? Mr. Sinnalinden?"

jmac197
10-04-2006, 03:45 PM
Can I borrow your towel for a sec, my car just hit a water buffalo

schmaltzy
10-04-2006, 04:09 PM
Put it on the Underhill account

3event
10-04-2006, 04:16 PM
....said to the Latino hotel employee (i think it was) as some kind of departing / thanks / comment even though it translates as "Land of Fire"

schmaltzy
10-04-2006, 04:19 PM
I had forgotten how funny that part was. I just about spit water all over my keyboard

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 04:34 PM
....said to the Latino hotel employee (i think it was) as some kind of departing / thanks / comment even though it translates as "Land of Fire"
"Hoppin taco."

east tx skier
10-04-2006, 04:46 PM
"Hoppin taco."

Nope, that's "Pup 'n' Taco." Old fast food joint that started in Southern California.

http://www.rogerwendell.com/images/pnt/pnt_bite_the_one_you_love.jpg

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 05:04 PM
Nope, that's "Pup 'n' Taco." Old fast food joint that started in Southern California.

http://www.rogerwendell.com/images/pnt/pnt_bite_the_one_you_love.jpg
Thanks East!!!:)

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 08:56 PM
Heres the setup:

"Fletch F. Fletch, what do you do for a living Mr. Fletch?"

fletch_n_me
10-04-2006, 09:46 PM
This is my dog Fletch. Why Fletch?

"What is your name sir?"

"Fletch."

"Your full name?"

"Fletch F. Fletch."

"And your occupation Mr. Fletch?"

"I'm a Shepherd."

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 09:47 PM
"so its Karlin, with a K??"

Hoosier Bob
10-04-2006, 09:52 PM
Anyone know how to spell John Cocktossin?:o

Jorski
10-04-2006, 09:52 PM
"Moon river !"

"gee doc, did you get your whole arm in there or just your fist ?!"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 09:55 PM
"excuse me sir, you are a member of the club?"

"No, I am with the Underhills"

"They are left senior."

" I know, he just went out for his uninalysis, he'll be back.


Man, I can see this shaping up already.....next year at Mag Mania, its gonna be Fletch on the big screen!

Jorski
10-04-2006, 10:00 PM
Receptionist: Can I help you Dr.--?
Fletch: Oh it's me, Dr. Rosen*****. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, i'm here to get into the records room.
Receptionist: What was that name again?
Fletch: It's Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosen! Where's the records room?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 10:02 PM
Receptionist: Can I help you Dr.--?
Fletch: Oh it's me, Dr. Rosen*****. I'm just here to check out Alan Stanwyk's file.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosenrosen, i'm here to get into the records room.
Receptionist: What was that name again?
Fletch: It's Dr. Rosen, I want to check the records room.
Receptionist: Dr. who?
Fletch: Dr. Rosen! Where's the records room?

B1. B1!!!!

"sorry but I thought that dead body was my brother, the spleen was the spittin' image."

Jorski
10-04-2006, 10:02 PM
Gail Stanwyck: You ordered lunch to my room?
Fletch: Well, I knew that's where my mouth would be.

fletch_n_me
10-04-2006, 10:03 PM
"Oh come one fellas, it's all ball bearings these days."

Jorski
10-04-2006, 10:04 PM
Chief Karlin: [to the arresting officers] Why don't you two leave us alone?
Fletch: Yeah, go down to the gym and pump each other.

Jorski
10-04-2006, 10:05 PM
Stanton Boyd: What kind of a name is Poon?
Fletch: Comanche Indian.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 10:07 PM
"Woo hoo! must be stage 2 right about here."

"Whoa, theres Fred, he'd be surprized!"

SD190EVO
10-04-2006, 10:09 PM
Hey! I think all of our problems may have just been solved. Ed McMahon. Think I just won a million bucks. Yeahhahhah, Irwin M. Fletcher you choose. Woo wee! Oh boy, I lost. Again. Sorry.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 10:12 PM
Arnold T. Pantz

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-04-2006, 11:15 PM
"Im not so sure car theft is even a crime anymore, there has been alot of changes in the law"

Ric
10-05-2006, 12:50 AM
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ump this is hilarious!!!!!!!!!

Ric
10-05-2006, 12:55 AM
If you all must know, I actually did the ENTIRE fletch speech for my best man speech at a buddies wedding wwayyyyy back when.... ok I was a baddd choice for best man and the whole marriage may have lasted a year or two at most!!.

"We're all here tonite to honor Fred, the Dorf Dorfman.... Many of you may know that Fred was darn near close to death.... He wasn't ashamed to admit to me that he had syphillis, and it takes a real man to admit where he got it and how he got it... Hat's off to his wife marge for sticking with him thru the whole thing... Those 3 or 4 months at trembling hills really changed her life, yes sir..."

Ric
10-05-2006, 12:56 AM
Arnold T. Pantz Esquire.... Attorney of the former mrs irwin fletcher... time to use the service entrance!

Ric
10-05-2006, 12:58 AM
Chief Karlin: [to the arresting officers] Why don't you two leave us alone?
Fletch: Yeah, go down to the gym and pump each other. Heyyyy you and Tommy Lasorda? Yep.... I hate Tommy Lasorda!!

Ric
10-05-2006, 01:00 AM
Here's the property, here's the mormon tabernacle, here's the dog who tried to bite me, heres my rent car, the dog tried to bite that too

Ric
10-05-2006, 01:01 AM
You and your wife are currently alive is that correct Mr Stanwyk?

Ric
10-05-2006, 01:03 AM
"Swing Looooowwww sweeeet chariottttt, comin fore to carry me hommmeeeeeee.. Ya can't keep me here chief..... " " Maybe I'm not gonna keep ya here, maybe I'm gonna blow your brains out" " Chief I do believe that would be a violation of my rights"

schmaltzy
10-05-2006, 10:12 AM
You and your wife are currently alive is that correct Mr Stanwyk?
"Boy - what in the hell are you talking about? He dotes on that bride of his."

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 10:59 AM
"Boy - what in the hell are you talking about? He dotes on that bride of his."

"Harry S. Truman????"

"My parents were big fans of the former President"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 11:00 AM
"one of those manure spitters was jacknifed on the Santa Anna, God awful mess, you should see my shoes! WOOCH!.....Stanwyck's baby huh?"

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:33 AM
ahhh Great wing.... Love that shape...

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:34 AM
Look at that woman .. just look at her.. could you even love a woman like that ?

....no no never never....

could you?

.....no, uh five, ten minutes, tops....

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:37 AM
As I pulled up to my palatial imitation apartment building, I noticed a familiar red oldsmobuick, belonging to one arnold t pantz... attorney of the former mrs irwin fletcher... woops, time to use the service entrance..

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:37 AM
"If you're wearing rubbers, leave them outside"

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:39 AM
....said to the Latino hotel employee (i think it was) as some kind of departing / thanks / comment even though it translates as "Land of Fire" it's also the name of the Southern tip of the South American Continent (which is still damn funny)

"In-n-Out Burger, can I take your order?"

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:40 AM
you know I came that close to buying this place until I found out that hopalong cassidy killed himself here... Suicide, bow and arrow, very weird...

Ric
10-05-2006, 11:54 AM
That window will be unlocked?

sometimes yes, sometimes no, the staff usually forgets...

Yahh I have the same problem with my people..

are you a pretty good shot mr nugent?

yaaaahhh I'm allright

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 12:41 PM
DR. JellyFingers"Babar,Isnt there a childrens book about an elephant named Babar?"

Arnold Babar "I dont have any."

DR. JellyFingers"No children?"

Arnold Babar "No, No elephant books."

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 12:42 PM
"Do you own rubber gloves Mr. Nugent?"

"I lease, with an option to buy."

Ric
10-05-2006, 12:44 PM
DR. JellyFingers"Babar,Isnt there a childrens book about an elephant named Babar?"

Arnold Babar "I dont have any."

DR. JellyFingers"No children?"

Arnold Babar "No, No elephant books." Babar is that with 2 b's...
no, one B, Babar...
That's two...
Yes, but not right next to each other, I thought that's what you meant!

Ric
10-05-2006, 12:45 PM
whoahhhh hey there's freddie
hey freddie, how's the herpes? They hurt?!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 01:21 PM
"its a game I play, they love it"

"I got to get up to about 90 and check out the flourocarbon output."

schmaltzy
10-05-2006, 01:27 PM
Something your wife said, when we were in bed. Said we were the same size....from the waist up I would imagine.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 01:48 PM
"you a cop?"

"as far as you know."

kpgotgame
10-05-2006, 03:08 PM
can i borrow your towel my car just hit a waterbuffalo

kpgotgame
10-05-2006, 03:20 PM
oh, he draws the foul!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 03:30 PM
"My lawyer was a bum. I think my wife was sleeping with him too."

"you may be right"

"are you serious?"

"Thats ancient history Fletch, you owe us $918.00."

Ric
10-05-2006, 03:56 PM
" Here's fletch, he's actually 6'5", (with the afro 6'9"), a pretty good dribbler... watch here how he fights off four,,, five defenders with ease... Fletch, truly defines grace under pressure "

Ric
10-05-2006, 03:57 PM
"My lawyer was a bum. I think my wife was sleeping with him too."

"you may be right"

"are you serious?"

"Thats ancient history Fletch, you owe us $918.00." Cash, Fletch, I'm impressed.... Ya, I saw my pimp today..

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 04:51 PM
"For an extra grand I'll let you take me out to dinner"

Ric
10-05-2006, 07:41 PM
I don't like to discuss business on the lanai.. Come inside.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-05-2006, 08:54 PM
"well then were in kind of a grey area."

"how grey?"

"charcoal"

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:41 AM
keep ten for yourself.... go out and get yourself a nice piece ofass

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:42 AM
"well then were in kind of a grey area."

"how grey?"

"charcoal" Fletch that is not an answer..

It is an answer frank and it's a damn fine answer if I do say so my damn self

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:42 AM
Who ordered novelty teeth?

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:43 AM
Frank I dont read the papers, anybody know the spread on the game tonite?

erkoehler
10-06-2006, 12:51 AM
Ric, Pm At You....:)

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 09:31 AM
a gibbon suit? whats a gibbon suit??

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 09:41 AM
"hey Gord, uh, have a look at the 7th svetzer valve, its been sticking."

"Probably the humidity."

"Thats funny! uh what think it is myself is the bypass line."

"yea, probably the bypass line."

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 11:28 AM
Fletch: Where am I?
Records Nurse: You're in the records room.
Fletch: Oh. Do you have the Beatles White Album? Never mind, just bring me a cup of hot fat. And the head of Alfredo Garcia.

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:30 AM
Fletch: Where am I?
Records Nurse: You're in the records room.
Fletch: Oh. Do you have the Beatles White Album? Never mind, just bring me a cup of hot fat. And the head of Alfredo Garcia. That is one of my fav's jp!!!!


Whooh , eveer seen a spleen that large?? NOhohohoh not since breakfast

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 11:34 AM
That is one of my fav's jp!!!!


Whooh , eveer seen a spleen that large?? NOhohohoh not since breakfast


and that's my second fav! thx ric!

we've all seen this movie multiple times and it's never quite as funny as it is quoted by the tmc crew. thx and keep 'um comin'.

east tx skier
10-06-2006, 11:34 AM
IMF: ... B-A-B-A-R.

Dr. Jellyfinger: That's two?

IMF: Yes, but not right next to each other, I thought that's what you meant.

Dr. Jellyfinger: It's an unusual name. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babaar?

IMF: I wouldn't know.

Dr. Jellyfinger: No children?

IMF: No--elephant books.

Dr. Jellyfinger: Drop your shorts, Mr. Babar ....

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 11:39 AM
[Fletch is being framed for drug possession by two very large cops]

Fletch: Aren't you gonna read me my rights?

Cop: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped on by him.

Fletch: I think I'll waive my rights.

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:41 AM
Why dont you two go down to the gym and pump each other

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:42 AM
IMF: ... B-A-B-A-R.

Dr. Jellyfinger: That's two?

IMF: Yes, but not right next to each other, I thought that's what you meant.

Dr. Jellyfinger: It's an unusual name. Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babaar?

IMF: I wouldn't know.

Dr. Jellyfinger: No children?

IMF: No--elephant books.

Dr. Jellyfinger: Drop your shorts, Mr. Babar .... MOOON River!!


using the whole fist doc?

Ever serve time?

.... Just relax...

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 11:46 AM
Dr. Jellyfinger: Drop your shorts, Mr. Babar ...."NO really, we dont have to."

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 11:46 AM
[After Fletch gets kicked in the crotch]

Gummy: Fletch! Are you all right?!

Fletch: Oh, yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars.

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:48 AM
Ya know doc my kidneys feel alot better in this position... Maybe I'm just not doing enough calesthenics

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:49 AM
Where the hell is the records room?!

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 11:49 AM
Fat Sam: I've got some reds.

Fletch: You don't mean communists do you Sammy?

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:50 AM
I write a column under the byline of Jane Doe
for the past few weeks I've been hanging out on the beach passing for an amiable minor league junky.
add an odd-hour drool it's too obvious... act like you don't give a crap, you'll fit right in... I don't shower much

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:51 AM
You're not taking very good care of yourself Grease

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 11:52 AM
ric, you are a fletch zen master. time to get obscure:

Fletch: You know, if you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:53 AM
tough shidd hopalong

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:56 AM
I'll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich and aaaaaaa steak sandwich

put it on underhill

Thank you senor

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:57 AM
Ellen... Charmed...

your proposition wouldn't have anything to do with my dressing up as little bo peep now would it?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 11:58 AM
Heyyeeee, watch it! your on thin ice Larrie!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 11:59 AM
Ellen... Charmed...

your proposition wouldn't have anything to do with my dressing up as little bo peep now would it?
Its nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.

Ric
10-06-2006, 11:59 AM
Three names I really enjoy... Marvin, Velma and Provo

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:00 PM
Its nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you. Yah I assure you

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:01 PM
and your name.....?

Nugent, Ted Nugent...

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:02 PM
name?
that's
Fletch
full name?
Fletcher, I.M.
Irwin Mohatma Fletcher

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:03 PM
You don't like basket ball:eek:
There is a supreme court case US v Fishbein that states: Man subject to partial inceneration in another man's suit is entitled to three thousand dollars worth of airline tickets

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 12:04 PM
i know it's not a quote but,

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 12:06 PM
Fletch: Oh, you've remodeled the garage. Must have cost you hundreds.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:06 PM
Marvin: CHECK!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:08 PM
Fat Sam he never leaves, he never leaves, Fat sam. He sits in the chair hes got $hit, where does it come from? through the sand?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:09 PM
Morris? or Pi'erre?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:11 PM
Everything a joke to you Fletch?

Everything Sam.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:12 PM
"Utah? what is he a mormon?"

"Nah I dont thank he does a whole lotta sangin' with the Tabernackle choir."

"Burns enough fuel to go to south america and back."

" I always kid him about it and say, what are you doin up there? some stunt flyin' or something?"

"and what he say?"

"well, he dont say nuthin, he just gives me that look, you know hes got that look."

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 12:16 PM
Fletch: If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:18 PM
Bravo Mr. Fletcher, BRAVO!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:19 PM
"Uh-oh! The Mrs.!"

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 12:22 PM
client in the house. gotta tap out. thx for the laughs, yall.

one for the road and boy how appropriate:



Fletch: Don't talk to me like that, assface. I don't work for you yet.

MCsJCPs
10-06-2006, 12:22 PM
client in the house. gotta tap out. thx for the laughs, yall.

one for the road and boy how appropriate:



Fletch: Don't talk to me like that, assface. I don't work for you yet.

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:28 PM
Decorate this place yourself or did Mrs Chief of Police help out?

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:29 PM
(singing) Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing... strangers in their pants... SURPRISE

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:29 PM
Uhh are you on a scavenger hunt or something or did I just forget to pay my dinner check?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:32 PM
Uhh are you on a scavenger hunt or something or did I just forget to pay my dinner check?
I mean I will be happy to pay it.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:36 PM
"can I ask anobody now? call my mother? tell her how much I love her?"

guess not.

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:54 PM
Frank you don't have any valuables in your office do you? no Vicki Goldberg albums or anything?

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:55 PM
Love your body Larry

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:56 PM
Love your body Larry
I was waiting to see who had the guts to post that one.....

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:56 PM
I needed to get home for a second wind, a beer and a wardrobe change

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:56 PM
Three million dollars sounded like a good price to me

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:57 PM
I said this before but,

WOO HOO!! Must be stage 2 right about here!:D :dance: :steering:

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:57 PM
You tell your DC boys if they wanna make something of that.. .Bring em on

khhhhhhhh God I admire you

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:58 PM
khhhhhhhh
:uglyhamme :uglyhamme

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:58 PM
Hey wonder if Mean Gene likes Fletch?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 12:58 PM
"My name is Egor Stravinski."

"Good MR. Stereski"

Ric
10-06-2006, 12:59 PM
Look at this Fletch "Drugs on our Beaches, shame of the City"... You can't run the ad and then not run the story.... You can't? hey shame of the city that's good Frank

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 01:00 PM
"just reach out and touch any one of these men here in blue, Hug a cop! thats right! I said it!"

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:01 PM
Fletch, if you need help just say "Louisiana is the Pelican State"

Frank I'm in hot water here and I believe Louisina is the pelican state

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:05 PM
how do you know mr underhill?
oh I saved his life in the war...

you were in the war?

oh no, he was... I got him out

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:06 PM
Lobs are an important part of the game

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:06 PM
how bout when he smacked that benz with a tennis racket? I got a belly laugh

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:09 PM
sincerely IM Fletcher, PS have a nice day

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:15 PM
B1. B1!!!!

"sorry but I thought that dead body was my brother, the spleen was the spittin' image." next to pathology


did you notice that the sign on the wall he was reading every single doctor name was rosen-something

I could write this stuff I swear

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 01:29 PM
how bout when he smacked that benz with a tennis racket? I got a belly laugh
I loved the look on his face!

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:33 PM
Frannnk I'm putting you on.... You'll get your story

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:34 PM
Cops and Gummy

Ric
10-06-2006, 01:45 PM
Talkin bout Belle Isle

Hey Mister noter damey

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 02:06 PM
"Calculus, I am Geometry Fletch, and this is Trigonometry Jones."

Ric
10-06-2006, 02:30 PM
it takes a big man to admit when he's wrong..... I am not a big man

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:26 PM
"you go to Utah, you STAY in Utah!"

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:29 PM
What was I doing in Utah this morning?

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:33 PM
were you two using some fancy drugs you brought in from california?

just some bougelais....

huh?

california drug made from grapes.....

wonder why this sorta thing never happens to me mr fletchah? ..... I wonder:rolleyes:

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:34 PM
Allan and I were recently speaking of death....

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:41 PM
"California Thing."

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:42 PM
scum scum scum, go back to where you from

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:42 PM
"I am afraid I have to pull rank on you, I am with the mattress police, and there are no tags on these mattesses."

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:42 PM
so you're sayin she moved out?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:43 PM
"Ben, how ya doin?"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:43 PM
I'm callin the cops, this is for the cops.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:44 PM
I commend her on her choice.

WHAT?

I commend her on her choice.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:45 PM
so you're sayin she moved out?
SHE MOVED OUT!!

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:45 PM
Cmon man I'm her cousin

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:46 PM
Ham, are all your friends transvestite necrophiliacs?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:46 PM
"Don Corleone, Well Mike and Fredo have taken over, Moe Green is out of the Tropicana."

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:48 PM
"Oh! oH! you not recording this are you???"

"No, never, never."

Ric
10-06-2006, 04:51 PM
why does a man ask me to kill him and then lie about dying

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 04:52 PM
"Ha ha ha Let us remove ourselves."

Ric
10-06-2006, 06:10 PM
I'm gonna need some 3 in one oil and some gauze pads

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-06-2006, 06:18 PM
I'm gonna need some 3 in one oil and some gauze pads
Preferably Prestone, no, no make that Quaker State. and wash these windows! there is filth muck on them!

Ric
10-06-2006, 06:19 PM
Hello, I'm peter lemonjello.... You're house is on fire

Ric
10-06-2006, 06:20 PM
I've sinned, I'm a sinner.. I mean, I don't have any polaroids or anything, but I have sinned.

Ric
10-07-2006, 10:23 AM
full name?
Fletch F Fletch

address?
Seven

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:27 AM
"he Believes!!!!"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:28 AM
"good Golly Miss Molly!"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:29 AM
"a 78 XL? that bike is a Legend! IT wouldnt happen to be blue?"

Ric
10-07-2006, 10:39 AM
Demons OUT

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:44 AM
"Were the Nazis from Natchez!"

Ric
10-07-2006, 10:45 AM
Thank youuuu for not inviting me

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:48 AM
Funny story, Ms. UMP and I were at a wedding reception for some friends of ours. And the Mayor was there with his wife and little daughters. Well, his daughters love to dance, so when the dance started, they get daddy out on the dance floor. So you got to understand the Mayor can slalom ski, but his coordination ends there. He is dancing around with his daughters on the dance floor and I notice his dance style......(the little lightbulb goes off in UMP's head) and I point at him and hollar, "Holy $hit! its Ed Harley!!!":) he was dancing just as geeky as "Ed Harley" was in fletch lives. I was the only one that made the connection, but once I pointed it out, my freinds agreed. It just looked freakin hilarious.....

Ric
10-07-2006, 10:48 AM
Greeter: Name?
Fletch: Robert... Bob... Bobby... yes
Greeter: Bobby?
Fletch: Yes, Bob E Lee
Greeter: Bob E Lee?
Fletch: Schwartz
Greeter: Schwartz?
Fletch: Yes Bob E Lee Schwartz

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:49 AM
"praise the Lord"

"Betcher A$$!"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-07-2006, 10:50 AM
Bobby suffers from the same affliction as I do, these migrain headaches.

Headache demons out!!!

kpgotgame
10-08-2006, 12:25 PM
I'm sorry, who are you again?
I'm Frieda's boss.
Who's Frieda?
My secretary.

kpgotgame
10-08-2006, 12:26 PM
F: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?

Stanwyck: It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.

Yeah, I assure you.

kpgotgame
10-08-2006, 12:29 PM
Why don't we go lay on the bed and I'll fill you in?

kpgotgame
10-08-2006, 12:35 PM
Thanks guys - this thread inspired me to watch it again last night.

Here's one more.

Do you have the Beatles' White Album?
Never mind, just get me a glass of hot fat. And bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia"

kpgotgame
10-08-2006, 12:47 PM
I understand your situation UMP - myself and a buddy quoted Fletch for about the last 10 yrs or so (we only saw it about 100 times at university) and we are usually the only two that got it, but hey we think its hysterical.
I am amazed at how many opportunities arrise that a fletch quote works for.
Its been a few years so the memory was not as sharp - however its great to see it again and to see some others that appreciate it. I may have to watch Caddyshack tonight.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-08-2006, 06:23 PM
The one I use most is, "no, no, never, never.":)

Ric
10-09-2006, 01:07 AM
Thanks guys - this thread inspired me to watch it again last night.



Yes, Thanks to ump for this thread!

:cool:

fletch quotes are good therapy
I have found if you watch the movie nowadays it moves MUCH slower than the good ole days when I watched it a billion times go figure

kpgotgame
10-10-2006, 01:19 PM
One of my summer jobs while at school was at a car rental place. I used the filth muck line all the time.

Like you UMP my buddies most used is no, no, never, never.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-10-2006, 01:46 PM
One of my summer jobs while at school was at a car rental place. I used the filth muck line all the time.

Like you UMP my buddies most used is no, no, never, never.
FILTH MUCK! the mayor uses that one too, but his favorite also is "no no, never, never." specially when he is drinking. "Mayor, need another beer??" "no, no, never, never.":D FLETCH RULES!!!

Ric
10-10-2006, 04:38 PM
My fav is " as far as you know "

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-10-2006, 05:13 PM
"Im not so sure car theft is even a crime anymore, there has been alot of changes in the law."

kpgotgame
10-11-2006, 03:14 PM
Hey Ric

I use that one quite a bit too. People hear what they want to, as I very rarely get any response.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-11-2006, 03:16 PM
filth Muck!!!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-11-2006, 03:31 PM
"now, you know that, and I know that, but somebody is bucking for a promotion."

Ric
10-11-2006, 03:35 PM
probably that pedderassed hanerhan I dont know but if I dont get some answers quick, you and your soninlaw are going to be the scapegoats of the week...

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-11-2006, 05:35 PM
"one of those manuer spitters jack-knifed on the Santa Anna, Gawd awful mess, you should see my shoes.....WHOOCH!"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v457/guitarzan1972/Fletchteeth.jpg

Ric
10-12-2006, 01:07 AM
"one of those manuer spitters jack-knifed on the Santa Anna, Gawd awful mess, you should see my shoes.....WHOOCH!"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v457/guitarzan1972/Fletchteeth.jpg

Gordon Liddy

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 09:27 AM
"who's bringing the tools? Freddie?"

"Yea, Freddie."

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 09:29 AM
"This aint even my story. Im writing a column on the off track betting in the Himalayas, small story but I know you've been following it."

Ric
10-12-2006, 09:47 AM
cmon man I'm her cousin

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 10:07 AM
"hey, its your beach."

Ric
10-12-2006, 10:55 AM
"This aint even my story. Im writing a column on the off track betting in the Himalayas, small story but I know you've been following it." "fell for the oldest trick in the book!" "Have a nice day!" BOOM "You missed!"

Ric
10-12-2006, 10:56 AM
"Drop your shorts and bend over mr babar"

"ohhhh we don't need to do that..."

Ric
10-12-2006, 11:17 AM
Utah is not exactly the cure for boredom

Ric
10-12-2006, 11:17 AM
Fletch are you always this forward?

Nawwww

only with wet married women

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 11:36 AM
"You know they ought to recall these things. you hit one good bump out here and Boom!"

Ric
10-12-2006, 12:09 PM
Look, defenseless babies!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 12:12 PM
"Madeline, Freda lost the number for Mr. Stanwyck's realtor in Utah. Could I get that please?"

"Jim Swarthowdt?"

"yea"

"Now, who are you again?"

"I'm Freda's boss."

"Who's Freda?"

"My secretary."

Ric
10-12-2006, 12:46 PM
hohoho
who else but the secret service could have known that the president was on the other side of the door and then bam. ohh look at that.. no more bleeding..

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 01:06 PM
Filth Muck!!!

Ric
10-12-2006, 02:04 PM
Don't mind my business boy! I'm just checkin the luggage!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-12-2006, 02:06 PM
"uh, Gordo...?"

Ric
10-12-2006, 02:08 PM
I know where the fetzer is! I'm just gettin a birds eye view.. hiaaaayyyyy!

Ric
10-13-2006, 01:26 PM
Ump are you asleep over there?! or are you still looking for the walmart thread?

Ric
10-13-2006, 01:27 PM
Utah? "Yes Utah, it's a wedge between Wyoming and Nevada"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-13-2006, 01:43 PM
Utah? "Yes Utah, it's a wedge between Wyoming and Nevada"
youve seen pictures.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-13-2006, 01:44 PM
Ump are you asleep over there?! or are you still looking for the walmart thread?
Actually, I was shopping there.....:o

:uglyhamme

Ric
10-13-2006, 02:06 PM
Actually, I was shopping there.....:o

:uglyhamme well that is gay

actually, you'd have alot more time for fletch quotes if you'd quit pm'ing people all damn day

Ric
10-13-2006, 02:07 PM
"Got a gun Creep?"

"Shamu's got one, borrow his"

Ric
10-13-2006, 02:13 PM
"one of those manuer spitters jack-knifed on the Santa Anna, Gawd awful mess, you should see my shoes.....WHOOCH!"
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v457/guitarzan1972/Fletchteeth.jpg by the way UMP, it's "Manure Spreaders" get it right man!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-13-2006, 02:29 PM
by the way UMP, it's "Manure Spreaders" get it right man!
Sorry Ric, I must have been tired from my night job at Walmart. ;)

JohnnyB
10-15-2006, 07:22 PM
This thread got Fletch on my mind again. My wife and i watched it last night:D

"Don't talk to me like that A$$face, i don't work for you yet!"

Ric
10-16-2006, 12:34 AM
probably the bypass valve

TMCNo1
10-16-2006, 10:58 AM
Sorry Ric, I must have been tired from my night job at Walmart. ;)
Are you working there just to be able to get the employee discount, so you can layaway a engagement ring for the Holiday Season from the jewelery department. Are you working in the Halloween Costume Department or are you a puter-outer in the meat department.
"MY name is UMP, Welcome to My Wal-Mart, May I Help You!"

TMCNo1
10-16-2006, 11:01 AM
I watched the Wal-Mart Story again last night on CNBC, WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ric
10-16-2006, 11:11 AM
Guys, the fletch thread is gay enough without adding the walmart twist to it.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-16-2006, 03:16 PM
quit talkin blasphemy like that Ric! Fletch rules! and so does the Fletch thread!

Ric
10-16-2006, 04:42 PM
Fletch: "I like men. I like to be manhandled.. I like you.."

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-18-2006, 01:44 PM
"Woo Hoo! what a day! must be stage 2 right about here!!"

Ric
10-19-2006, 06:24 PM
Hat's off to his wife marge, those 2 or 3 weeks at trembling hills really changed her life, yes sir.. No more alcohol or sedatives in her life, no sir..

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:08 PM
Cops and Gummy.. I don't get it

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:11 PM
I break in, you catch me stealing some ties and ....money.. We struggle, the gun gets loose and I shoot you right between the eyes...


Are you a pretty good shot?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:14 PM
DO you own rubber gloves MR. Nugent?

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:16 PM
your wearing my suit. Where did you get my suit Mr Nugent? I said Where did you get my suit???

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:16 PM
I rent em... I have a lease with an option to buy

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:17 PM
your wearing my suit. Where did you get my suit Mr Nugent? I said Where did you get my suit??? it was something your wife told me when we were in bed together

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:17 PM
Oh Thank God............ The..... Police......

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:33 PM
That's ok, lobs are an important part of the game... Sorry Ma'm!

sanjuan23
10-20-2006, 12:43 PM
Mrs. Stanwick!!! Mrs. Stanwick!!! There is something I need to urgently discuss with you. Seems one of you guests has charged an expensive lunch to my account.

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:44 PM
Mrs. Stanwick!!! Mrs. Stanwick!!! There is something I need to urgently discuss with you. Seems one of you guests has charged an expensive lunch to my account. Just a minute! I just have to wee wee

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:48 PM
Just a minute! I just have to wee wee
OH, Oh, yes, of course.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:48 PM
Im talking about how much I want to take you to a Laker game.

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:50 PM
Mrs. Stanwick!!! Mrs. Stanwick!!! There is something I need to urgently discuss with you. Seems one of you guests has charged an expensive lunch to my account.

Fletch "give each other twenty dollars, put it on Underhill."

Waiter "Oh, buenos Noches!"

Fletch "Ceira Del Fuego."

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:52 PM
"For an extra grand I'll let you take me out to dinner" keep ten for yourself... go out and get yourself a nice piece ofass

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:52 PM
Fletch "give each other twenty dollars, put it on Underhill."

Waiter "Oh, buenos Noches!"

Fletch "Ceira Del Fuego." It's Tiera Del Fuego Ump The tip of south america

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:53 PM
It's Tiera Del Fuego Ump The tip of south america
as far as you know.....

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:55 PM
Arnold, they are actually making an incision these days in the top of the head and move the skin to cure baldness. Or you could have a transplant from yourass..... Might make you smarter..

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 12:57 PM
Think about it Fletch, you will never see me again. Wendy will finally be able to live the life of leisure she deserves.

Ric
10-20-2006, 12:58 PM
Novelty teeth fletch? "That's Personal!"

sanjuan23
10-20-2006, 12:59 PM
You're her attorney.. Hell your probably getting in bed with her too!

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:00 PM
I'm a man without a country Frank!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:00 PM
and its a dam fine anwer if I do say so my damself.

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:03 PM
"You're not gonna sing for us are you Sammy!?"

sanjuan23
10-20-2006, 01:04 PM
Here have a piece of Gum, I find it helps filter out the hydro-carbons..

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:04 PM
"who is it? Mr. Sinnalinden?"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:04 PM
Here have a piece of Gum, I find it helps filter out the hydro-carbons..
I got get it would up for around 90...ah, check out the flouro-carbon output.

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:04 PM
A little slipstreammie and whoahhhhaoo Hey there's Freddy!

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:06 PM
Sir you purchased a ticket for Ms Cavanaugh to fly with you...

Doesn't mean I want her sitting next to me does it!!?

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:07 PM
See I'm in bridgework and I have all these foldouts......

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:08 PM
See I'm in bridgework and I have all these foldouts......
and I need space.

sanjuan23
10-20-2006, 01:08 PM
You're not recording this are you? No.. No..

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:09 PM
A little slipstreammie and whoahhhhaoo Hey there's Freddy!
boy he'd be surprised!!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:09 PM
You're not recording this are you? No.. No..
never, never.

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:10 PM
"What's yer name honey?"

Nostradamus

"Well hey MR Notre Damey"

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:11 PM
cavanaugh....is that Morris? or Pierre?

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:22 PM
Oh for God daadd ddaaaaaa!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
10-20-2006, 01:38 PM
Oh for God daadd ddaaaaaa!
I'm a bear for details!

Ric
10-20-2006, 01:43 PM
I've been working on a story on off-track betting in the Himalayas