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View Full Version : 13 Simple Rules to not Piss Off a Boat Owner


tex
12-01-2004, 02:47 PM
Stolen and Adapted from the Texas Hydrofoil site!
1)Always offer $$$. $5 is nice, but $10-15 is more realistic. This does not simply cover gas, it covers maintenance, insurance, tags, storage, registration, and truck gas.

2)Always offer to clean the boat. Usually just a wipe down after skiing, but if you are a regular, do more! Windy days, come over and help wax or clean interior. Bring cleaner-it's not cheap!

3)Never invite someone else without first consulting with the owner.

4)Ask how many are skiing that day, if it is over 4, try another day. 7-10 in the boat for wakeboarding is cool, not running the course, jumping, or footing! There is nothing worse then being a boat owner towing around 10 fools!

5)Never go first unless you are told by the owner! More often then not, he will defer to someone else(esp. if she is hot!).

6)Never let the owner go last. He has to have his fun too.

7)Always volunteer to drive, unless you suck at driving.

8)No Doritos, Cheetos, or Goldfish in the boat!

9)No shoes, even if the owner has his on. He can treat it the way he wants and don't step on the seats.

10)Bring something to drink(no bottles) and ice! Beer if it is my boat!

11)If you only have 30 minutes, don't bother coming. It kills skiing time to have bring your lame @#$ back to the dock!

12)Be ready to ski when it is your turn! We don't want to watch you put your gloves on while the water is glass!

13)Do not ski for more than 15 minutes! It is rude! If the owner wants to be rude, that is cool-It's his boat!


Can ya'll think of anymore?

Footin
12-01-2004, 03:36 PM
Addition to rule 3) If your guest is a hot female and wears a thong..feel free to invite her.

east tx skier
12-01-2004, 03:40 PM
14) Dry off on the platform and shake the water out of your boots before climbing back into the boat or handing someone your ski. Even if you can't follow this rule, and must dry off in the boat, don't stand and drip on that little panel behind the engine box as it tends to not react as well to water than the rest of the boat.

tex
12-01-2004, 04:23 PM
15)Don't sit your wet @$$ on the crack of the back stoarge compartment. I don't won't your crack water seeping onto my jumpsuit!

whitedog
12-01-2004, 08:21 PM
16) Leave your gum in the car or on the dock and no chew in the boat.

jimmer2880
12-02-2004, 07:11 AM
Don't ask to borrow the owner's gloves. They will probably offer a "spare pair" if they notice you didn't bring yours along. Nothing worse than somebody stretching out your gloves.

bradamerry
12-02-2004, 09:33 AM
Just because my dog goes, does not mean I want your sh!t eater in my boat.

ktn_cmu
12-02-2004, 09:48 AM
This goes along with some of the other comments, but I am sick of hearing that it's ok because, "boats are made to get wet".

John B
12-02-2004, 10:06 AM
Do not jump on the swim platform :mad:

Do not hit the back of the boat with your ski when you are on the swim platform :mad:

When you get in the water do not slam your a$$ on the swim platform. :mad: :mad:

tex
12-02-2004, 10:43 AM
16) Leave your gum in the car or on the dock and no chew in the boat.

Right after I bought my 197 I took it to my future brother-in-laws bachelor party. He was so drunk that he was the 1st to throw up in my new boat(should have been me) and to top that off-he got out and skied with chew in his back pocket. when he got back in the boat it leaked "chaw juice" all over the new gray carpet. It took almost 6 months to get it out. i still secretly nickel and dime his @$$ for payback!

Ric
12-02-2004, 10:52 AM
Johnb can make an entire list of platform issues

Ric
12-02-2004, 10:57 AM
This goes along with some of the other comments, but I am sick of hearing that it's ok because, "boats are made to get wet".
ya I was amazed when I went to clean my carpet, how much sand it held! all of it was from wet skis and bodies dripping our somewhat sandy lakewater into the boat.

sbuell
12-02-2004, 02:12 PM
If you don't want it to get wet leave it on the dock. I can't hold your cellphone, keys, wallet, shirt, camera, towel........and drive. The glove box on my 82 S&S isn't very big and it has MY stuff in it.

MarkP
12-02-2004, 02:39 PM
13)Do not ski for more than 15 minutes! It is rude! If the owner wants to be rude, that is cool-It's his boat!:o :D

pdoppenheim
12-02-2004, 04:31 PM
This is the best thread I've ever seen. I'm printing it and mailing it to my friend with the Sting Ray who keeps telling me that we can ski on his boat anytime.

sfitzgerald351
12-02-2004, 06:00 PM
I like the rules, but have a different set.

1.) Gas is $20 each. I'll spend $10 getting to the ramp, and $30 on a tank of gas and then I have to pay for insurance, etc...

2.) Women need to wear skimpy clothing if they are just going to sit in the boat. If you're going to be dead weight and throw off the trim of the boat, I should at least get some eye candy. If you're going to ski, throw a wetsuit or rash guard on if you're worried about coming out of your suit.

3.) I get to ski first if I want to. And then board. After I'm done you can go.

4.) Be ready to go (unless it's a designated lazy day on the lake)! You may not care about glass, but I DO. Don't waste MY water.

5.) It's not the end of the world if you bang a ski into the boat, enter with sandy shoes, but at least have the common courtesy to minimize these things. I bought an old boat so that I don't cry and have a nervous breakdown everytime you get near my boat, but I don't want to end up with a POS after you've been near it either!

6.) Bring your own snacks/drinks. And maybe even some for me. After all I invited you to do something special.

7.) Come over to my house when I say I'm working on the boat. It's only fair that you help wax it and fix it. I'm not a water ski school.

8.) If too many people show up to ski I might dump some bodies on 'white trash beach' Deal with it till I come get you. You should be glad I'm willing to drive a ton of idiots around the lake all afternoon.

9.) Listen to me when it's your turn to drive. DRIVE IN STRAIGHT LINES. If you must turn, raise your hand to signal the turn and then TURN! Don't waste 1/2 mile making a turn. I've seen the back of my boat 1000 times and don't need to study it any more. Always IDLE back to the skier. I don't want to fight my own rollers. And believe it or not, you will stay drier in my boat if you give the wakes a chance to dissapate before crossing them to come get me.

10.) Don't like my rules? Go get your own boat... :rolleyes: I thought so!

sfitzgerald351
12-02-2004, 06:02 PM
I feel much better now! :D

BriEOD
12-02-2004, 06:27 PM
When we get the boat back on trailer and get ready to go home, get off and out of my way. It takes me 5 minutes to prepare it to go rather than 20 minutes explaining to you what to do.

mitch
12-02-2004, 06:34 PM
Scott, I'll need to rethink whether we hook up for mid-week sets next year. BTW, I won't be at that WT beach when you get back.... 8p

tex
12-02-2004, 06:45 PM
Scott, I'll need to rethink whether we hook up for mid-week sets next year. BTW, I won't be at that WT beach when you get back.... 8p

you guys are talking skiing right? not that there is anything wrong with that!(Seinfeld)

Lance
12-02-2004, 06:51 PM
This is all well and good... but how about 13 good suggestions on how to get this list into the hands of our guests without coming across and being overly anal... after all... the objective is still to have fun without worrying too much about a set of "rules".

sfitzgerald351
12-02-2004, 07:43 PM
Mitch,

Don't worry, I'll be really nice around your boat. And if you come skiing with me mid-week it's all business. 3-4 people max. Often 2 (shsssh... don't tell anyone). I'm a heck of a lot nicer with other skiers. It's the random friends who have no clue that need the rules. ;)

Thrall
12-03-2004, 01:35 PM
These are excellent rules that I think most boat owners appreciate. Unfortunately, we are not the ones that need to hear this. Need to email these to all our "friends" that don't have a clue as to the cost and upkeep on a boat.

sfitzgerald351
12-03-2004, 03:02 PM
The best thing I ever did when I bought my boat and all my friends started to get excited was to declare that I was never, ever going to pay for any of the gas or fees associated with taking the boat out. And I almost never meet people at the lake, but have them schlep over to my place "to help load the boat." It takes me all of 10 minutes to get packed and more people doesn't speed it up. But it has gotten everyone in the frame of reference to help and give me money. They still don't come over and help me wax it or work on the motor, but they are pretty well trained at this point, except for driving straight. Of course the biggest violator of that is my fiance, but I know better than mouth off to her after a bad pull. :eek: What I need is a good driver to sit in the boat with her and give her pointers as she's pulling.

east tx skier
12-03-2004, 03:06 PM
Ah, we've had this discussion before. You're on the right track. You get someone that she can't get mad at to show her how to really drive. Fortunately, my wife was talking about MC within a few dates (before I knew the difference). She was skiing at the age of 4 1/2 and pulling skiers at the age of 7. But be patient and don't let your anger show if she doesn't get it right. The best driver is, often times, the one that always wants to go.

Zach S
12-03-2004, 03:09 PM
I have the same problem with the wife driving straight. I am thinking about using the shock collar from the dog. :eek3:

sfitzgerald351
12-03-2004, 03:12 PM
Yeah. She's always game to go and now that she's up on 1 ski and discovered how much more fun it is I think I've got her hooked. She's learning to drive, but needs more time so that it's not so overwhelming. If there are no other boats out she does pretty well, but she gets worried about the other boats, which is actually warranted since we ski on a very small lake which doesn't have a driving pattern.

east tx skier
12-03-2004, 03:13 PM
Driving straight is ideal, but for two things ...

(1) On our home lake, she is free to turn to chase glassy water (which is unfortunately rare); and
(2) When we're on the river, you just sorta have to.

east tx skier
12-03-2004, 03:15 PM
Yeah. She's always game to go and now that she's up on 1 ski and discovered how much more fun it is I think I've got her hooked. She's learning to drive, but needs more time so that it's not so overwhelming. If there are no other boats out she does pretty well, but she gets worried about the other boats, which is actually warranted since we ski on a very small lake which doesn't have a driving pattern.

I know someone in the same boat (hardy har). Just give it time. As good as my wife drives, after one near unfortunate mishap while loading, she now has the distinction of being an excellent trailer-backer. ;)

tex
12-03-2004, 03:19 PM
find someone who skis ok (good skiers intimidate) and doesn't bit@h. Put your wife/girlfriend in the boat(not on the same trip) and talk her thru driving them. Then, put her behind the wheel and offer constructive critisism. Let the skier talk to her too. Be consistant and push her to drive over and over. If that doesn't work-put more beer in the cooler!

G-man
12-03-2004, 03:25 PM
With inboards in teaching how to drive and having a wife or other person of value learn it is best to have someone else teach them the basics then you can orientate them to your style after they got the basics. In teaching trailering don't use the words left & right, either point or say towards the house or toward the tree, whatever objects are near by.

east tx skier
12-03-2004, 03:26 PM
I think as to who offers the instruction/criticism, it depends on the woman, and who else is watching. My wife doesn't like instruction when anyone else is around, nor do I for that matter. But if it's just me and her, and I bring it up as, hey I was reading about this the other day, she's pretty eager to learn a new trick. She can do that pullout/whip turn/easy pickup thing almost like clockwork at this point, but it took a lot of practice.

lakes Rick
12-03-2004, 10:50 PM
I have the same problem with the wife driving straight. I am thinking about using the shock collar from the dog. :eek3:

It works great, just bring some hair straightener so there is no evidence of abuse.......

sfitzgerald351
12-06-2004, 09:31 PM
I have to say though although we have a bit of work on the boat driving, I did teach Kelly how to drive the trailer and she's a pro. At a busy ramp we sometimes go to in New Hampshire all the guys behind her always offer to back the truck in for her. She politely declines and then shoots the trailer in no sweat. We're out of the water in less than 2 minutes of which at least 90 seconds are for futzing with the old style bow eye trailer bar thingy (which I will someday replace with a boat buddy). The park rangers have complimented her on it at least twice now. Usually the guys behind her are still trying to retrieve their boats while we've put all the gear away, wiped the boat down, packed the truck.... We just wave.

east tx skier
12-07-2004, 11:00 AM
I'm constantly amazed by the number of morons at whatever ramp we're using. They'll pull up about ten feet, then stop to mess with something, and ultimately, will start wiping down their boats. My wife has about as much patience with them as I do. It's great watching her thread the needle with the trailer, although it gave me a bit of a pucker the first few times. Now I just waive her on and let them sweat it. In and out in under a minute (don't have to mess with the bar; just winch it and go).

Ric
12-07-2004, 11:12 AM
There must be a relationship between IQ and proximity to a boatramp for sure.

tex
12-07-2004, 11:35 AM
There must be a relationship between IQ and proximity to a boatramp for sure.

there always seems to be a large no parking/unloading sign that they park under! what an a$$whip!

Ric
12-07-2004, 12:11 PM
Oh and Doug I caught the simpsons for the first time in about 10 years the other night & laughed out loud when they had the foxnews truck roll into town blasting "we are the champions" with a Bush Cheney 04 billboard on the side.

lakes Rick
12-07-2004, 01:04 PM
I'm constantly amazed by the number of morons at whatever ramp we're using. They'll pull up about ten feet, then stop to mess with something, and ultimately, will start wiping down their boats. My wife has about as much patience with them as I do. It's great watching her thread the needle with the trailer, although it gave me a bit of a pucker the first few times. Now I just waive her on and let them sweat it. In and out in under a minute (don't have to mess with the bar; just winch it and go).

Yeah my dream job is to be the ramp guard armed with "shock" sticks.. How great would that be?? "hey move it" BZZZT.

east tx skier
12-07-2004, 01:05 PM
Ric, it's not the longest running sitcom in television history for nothing.

They had an episode a year or so ago where they did a fox news segment. The scrolling banner on the bottom had some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. Apparently, Rupert Murdoch got really cheesed off about it though and threatened to sue. Fortunately for the court system, somebody had the good sense to remind him that he'd be suing himself.

Ric
12-07-2004, 04:01 PM
Ya I'd say they know funny and nobody is safe, not even their boss.

east tx skier
12-07-2004, 04:18 PM
Murdoch: "Thanks, you saved my network."
Bart: "Wouldn't be the first time."

I think it's less about funny, and more about money. Fox hasn't even begun to see the real money from that show ... DVD sales (even with the first 4 seasons already released). And don't forget about the big screen once they finally take their final bow on the tube. Obviously, without the funny, there'd be no money, but safe to say they've earned some artistic freedom.

I can still remember when people decried that show as one of the worst influences on TV. Now it's the subject of masters theses (or is it thesises?).

tex
11-14-2007, 11:45 PM
Don't forget beer and morally casually women!

Prostar Rich
11-15-2007, 11:39 AM
Addition to rule 3) If your guest is a hot female and wears a thong..feel free to invite her.

And her sister too.

Prostar Rich

x-10ron
11-15-2007, 11:54 AM
anybody got anything for a know-it-all brother in law. Two weeks ago he tried to tell me, my x-10 was safe to run in 6 inches of water.
I wanted to smack him with out trying to be rude and offend my wife at the same time!!!!

tex
11-15-2007, 11:59 AM
anybody got anything for a know-it-all brother in law. Two weeks ago he tried to tell me, my x-10 was safe to run in 6 inches of water.
I wanted to smack him with out trying to be rude and offend my wife at the same time!!!!
I have one of those...I just remind him off the time he backed his Supra into the garage with the extended pylon up!

TMCNo1
11-15-2007, 12:09 PM
anybody got anything for a know-it-all brother in law. Two weeks ago he tried to tell me, my x-10 was safe to run in 6 inches of water.
I wanted to smack him with out trying to be rude and offend my wife at the same time!!!!


He must think your boat is equipped with twin jets and the underwater gear is just Xmas tree decorations!:rolleyes:

If only 1 square inch of the hull was riding on top of the water, you would still have a minimum of about 15" of ornaments dangling underneath, Duh!

Tell him this winter, you want him to go with you to take the boat snow skiing up North when the base is over 6"

x-10ron
11-15-2007, 12:28 PM
I have one of those...I just remind him off the time he backed his Supra into the garage with the extended pylon up!




He did sink his Yamaha exciter once, left it on the lake and it rain so much it went to the bottom. Sunk in about 5 ft of water, boat still doesn't run to this day!!! Major problem is, my wife believes every word that comes out of his mouth. So I always look like the anal retentive arsehole when I speach up!!!!

tex
11-15-2007, 12:48 PM
He did sink his Yamaha exciter once, left it on the lake and it rain so much it went to the bottom. Sunk in about 5 ft of water, boat still doesn't run to this day!!! Major problem is, my wife believes every word that comes out of his mouth. So I always look like the anal retentive arsehole when I speach up!!!!
Get some scene control brutha!

SunCoast 83
11-18-2007, 10:20 PM
Sounds like a dolt for sure....

JoshBuzz
11-19-2007, 12:14 AM
East TX, where are you at in East Tx again?? haha, I was out on Quitman this weekend, and it was butter, I'll be out there again this Saturday for an After Thanksgiving set, and was wondering how close you were!!

tex
11-19-2007, 10:50 AM
I love Quitman. We had friends who had a place there. We grew up going there at least 3 times a summer.

JoshBuzz
11-19-2007, 12:01 PM
It is a beautiful lake! One of the best times I've had on the water in a while!! Anyone know the prostar owner out there??

east tx skier
11-19-2007, 12:24 PM
East TX, where are you at in East Tx again?? haha, I was out on Quitman this weekend, and it was butter, I'll be out there again this Saturday for an After Thanksgiving set, and was wondering how close you were!!

I'm in Tyler. We'll be in Austin and then to Houston over Thanksgiving.

tex
11-19-2007, 12:58 PM
Doug, I'll be in Conroe over Thanksgiving. Will you be close?

JoshBuzz
11-19-2007, 02:57 PM
dang, spent a couple nights in Tyler this weekend!! Stopped in to the ski 'N Sports Nautique dealer and talked to him for a couple minutes, he was a total jerk!

DDRAININ12
01-17-2009, 07:13 PM
Rule #3 Should read "Never invite someone else without first consulting with the owner and please clarify upfront if she will be ballast or EC (Eye - Candy).

brianpt
01-17-2009, 11:29 PM
another importent rule if youre going to grabe the dock when docking please do so and not fake it and let the boat crash into the dock that expesive

TOO-TALL
01-18-2009, 12:52 AM
another importent rule if youre going to grabe the dock when docking please do so and not fake it and let the boat crash into the dock that expesive

I agree....

And if you see the boat drifting towards the dock...DON'T JUST SIT THERE...DO SOMETHING!!!!

Footin
01-18-2009, 12:57 AM
If your a girl, bring a hot friend.

Gamble
01-18-2009, 02:51 AM
Right after I bought my 197 I took it to my future brother-in-laws bachelor party. He was so drunk that he was the 1st to throw up in my new boat(should have been me) and to top that off-he got out and skied with chew in his back pocket. when he got back in the boat it leaked "chaw juice" all over the new gray carpet. It took almost 6 months to get it out. i still secretly nickel and dime his @$$ for payback!


........chaw juice!!! I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muttley
01-19-2009, 04:39 PM
This goes along with some of the other comments, but I am sick of hearing that it's ok because, "boats are made to get wet".

DON'T get me started...

Once I was putting the boat away for the night and was just finished drying it off, when this good coming in for a landing decided to spray all his friends at the dock. Soaked everything with a huge wall of water. At first I thought okay, fine. It seemed like getting me was an accident so I'll see the humour and smiled. The his girlfriend yelled at him for getting me and my boat wet. He gave her that line...

After that, I came close to ripping him a new one. :mad:

wakeX2wake
01-19-2009, 04:57 PM
DON'T get me started...

Once I was putting the boat away for the night and was just finished drying it off, when this good coming in for a landing decided to spray all his friends at the dock. Soaked everything with a huge wall of water. At first I thought okay, fine. It seemed like getting me was an accident so I'll see the humour and smiled. The his girlfriend yelled at him for getting me and my boat wet. He gave her that line...

After that, I came close to ripping him a new one. :mad:

haha when they drop that line i like to give my line back to them... "they're also made to be paid for and if i want the SOB wet i'll wet it myself"

cbfitzner
01-20-2009, 01:25 PM
I know that the rear seat can be set up and used as a suntanning platform, but a towel on the dock is a lot cheaper. And if you get sun screen on the white vinyl, it stains it red permanently. The towel fits in the washer.