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View Full Version : Should I shut up or speak up?


jlf
07-13-2006, 10:08 AM
Here is the situation I am in this summer....my husband and I have been having a tough time finding a third person to come with us this summer (in WI we need a spotter). We have had to spend a few perfect days just looking at the water because of no third. I contacted the local collage ski/wakeboard team in the spring to see if any of them would be here for the summer and I basically said contact me and we can work something out, we'll pull them and we get a spotter. NO mention of gas money or anything was really discussed at the initial contact with them. Here is the problem the first time I actually meet boy #1, we spoke on the phone and he asked if he could bring "A" friend ( I took that to mean one) I said sure that would be okay. He showed up with himself and three friends. I didn't say anything, we had room for them, it turned out okay, the boys were pretty cool. The only one who offered up gas money was the one I initially had phone contact with. He flipped me a five, we did thank you's from everyone. I was sort of left with a bad taste in my mouth not the greatest first impression. show up with three friends and offer no gas money. I guess it's my fault, I didn't straight up ask for it either. The second time boy #1 is coming with he again askes if it is okay to bring "A" friend, this time he shows up with three friends and a dog!! I was steamed about the dog, but again I shut up and let them all on, we had our dog with as well. The dog was well behaved and this time two of them offered up some gas money.

My problem is I do not really appreciate being taken advantage of, I do not really know these kids, yes they are kids, the oldest is 22. I am afraid if I say too much then they will think I am a B**ch and not want to come with, leaving my husband and I on the dock. If it was just the one kid showing up all the time gas money really wouldn't be an issue because he'd be doing us a favor too by being our spotter, but when he shows up with a whole boat full it costs us about $60 or better to pull all of them, not to mention my ride time is cut short. The whole dog this still has be perplexed? I know we take our dog with but it's my boat, I would never even ask our best friend if we could bring our dog on his boat.

Am I out of line here? Should we expect gas money from them? Do I say something and risk losing our third?

Maristar210
07-13-2006, 10:53 AM
He's taking advantage of you and you are allowing it because you need him. Find another third and dump this freeloader. In a meantime tell him how much nicer the wake is with just two in the boat so you would prefer that it was just him.

Steve

east tx skier
07-13-2006, 10:53 AM
I'd have drawn the line with the person who brought their dog without asking. When I had a dog, I always made doubly sure she was welcome (or at least tolerated) before bringing her anywhere. I have a relative who used to show up at Thanksgiving with the dogs and bring them to the table. So my feelings on this have a sorted past.

As for the friends, I don't see a problem in your telling him that guests are limited to one person and if that person has been out before, he the guest is is responsible for bringing gas money. As for your original "spotter," since, in your eyes, he's doing you a favor, I'd tell him he rides for free.

Maristar210
07-13-2006, 10:53 AM
and no your not a b***. You sound like you are being more than nice to me...

Steve

bradamerry
07-13-2006, 10:54 AM
put a limit on how many he can invite and say no to the dog, if it bothers you that much.... And I never ask for gas money, but that is just me. I do take money if someone offers. I believe, if you can't afford the gas, you can't afford the boat. Just me.

Rockman
07-13-2006, 10:58 AM
Am I out of line here? Should we expect gas money from them? Do I say something and risk losing our third?

No you are not out of line here by any means.

What that "boy" is doing is really inconsiderate.

I would expect to have them chip in for gas money. At least $10 per person would be feasible. I always offer to pay when I ski with others but have the problem of not collecting when people come with us on our boat.

Where do you ski at? PM me and I may be able to get you a 3rd in IL or WI.

barefoot
07-13-2006, 11:01 AM
Where in Wi are you located? Hopefully close to Milwaukee ;)

sanjuan23
07-13-2006, 11:03 AM
I think it all goes back to the original "rules" of going out on someone's boat.

Dont bring anyone along without first making sure it's okay. esp. the dog!

I understand the needing a third situation but that is a little out in left field for me. Someone bringing 3 along just aint cool.
You're not being a *&tch, someone just doesnt understand!

bcampbe7
07-13-2006, 11:04 AM
Where in Wi are you located? Hopefully close to Milwaukee ;)


Here's your 3rd!

bradamerry
07-13-2006, 11:06 AM
We carry our dog with us, but he has never been in Farmer's boat. My boat, my dog. Your boat, he stays home.

3event
07-13-2006, 11:07 AM
Agree with the above, if the "boys" are that self-centered then you're better off without. And it's certainly not unreasonable to lay down your expectations - if they balk and disappear then so be it.

SPEAK UP.....

No one likes to see a fellow MC owner taken for a ride! Take rockman up on his offer, i wish i could help out with the WI connections but we rarely get away from our lake place and the family covers us for body count......

You could have some kids, but there's a lot of work required before they are capable spotters :) :) . Eventually they learn to ski and drive, then you may have a hard time getting on your own boat. That day is only a couple of years away for us !!!!

ntidsl
07-13-2006, 11:11 AM
I guess you are on public water? I guess its illegal to ski without a third...bummer...3rd is what you were looking for and you got numerous...tell the 4th 5th and 6th to stay at the ramp or dock and you'll come back and get them...they wont come many more times because they'll be waiting around, get your skiing in and come back for them whenever you want...then if its still light out ask them if they want a quick ride...also keep a copy of boaters etiquite on your boat laminated...just sitting around...they'll pick it up and read it sooner or later if they decide to keep hanging around...

when we ski we have 2 in the boat and one skiing...thats it!!! everyone knows it...we rotate people at the dock...or a the pontoon boat...good luck!

dogs belong on land or in the water, not on a boat...if i ever found a dog hair on my boat....uggghhh!

peason
07-13-2006, 11:13 AM
I agree to what has been said already. Kindly state the next time he is going on the boat that you only want 2 people and the dog stays on land. As far as gas goes, ask him and his friend to bring a 5 gallon can with him of what ever grade you need.
I realize they are doing you a favor by going with, so you will have to weigh your options as far as the gas - but by bringing more than one friend - that is very inconsiderate.

SteveO
07-13-2006, 11:14 AM
You could always place this sticker somewhere clearly visible......

ntidsl
07-13-2006, 11:17 AM
i love it!!!

ntidsl
07-13-2006, 11:20 AM
just sent it to my sign guy!!!

someone mentioned kids...a guy at our lake has an 8 year old and an 11 year old and skis every day of the week with them...the 11 year old has been driving him for 4 years now!!! he skis 35 off, and the kids are skiing 22-28 off at their respective speeds...

Jorski
07-13-2006, 11:24 AM
just sent it to my sign guy!!!

someone mentioned kids...a guy at our lake has an 8 year old and an 11 year old and skis every day of the week with them...the 11 year old has been driving him for 4 years now!!! he skis 35 off, and the kids are skiing 22-28 off at their respective speeds...


So you are saying that this guy let a 7 year old drive a 300 hp ski boat...that is mentally deranged !

jlf
07-13-2006, 11:32 AM
Where do you ski at? PM me and I may be able to get you a 3rd in IL or WI.
We are about three hours from Milwaukee.

TMCNo1
07-13-2006, 11:32 AM
Even though you solicited an observer to join you on the boat in exchange for rides, it is still your boat and you as the owner have the right to call all the shots and set the limits of your tolerance of the unexpected.
What would you do if the next time he show up with the school band and the school mascot?

TMCNo1
07-13-2006, 11:32 AM
Sorry, double post! Nevermind!

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-13-2006, 11:36 AM
well, I would just be nice and discuss it with him and ask if he could refrain from bringing the dog, and limit the number of friends to maybe 1. Another option you could do is look for a spotter only type of person that dont ski. I have some people like that. They just love to go for a boat ride and are more than happy to just be out there riding along. They dont fork in for gas, but I dont let that bother me. I would rather be out there skiing and have to pay a few extra dollars for someone else to ski with rather than save those few dollars and sit on my couch wishing I was skiing.

jlf
07-13-2006, 11:40 AM
I guess the gas money really isn't the big issue, we haven't asked for it, we do take it when they offer. I am glad to be out. I guess this is new to us, having to use basically stragers for a third. The guys are nice, but I guess I do feel a bit taken advantage of. I think I will have to say something about the dog, that does really bother me. I have been trying to hint about the friends, like you really need to let me know how many you have coming...sort of thing, or I have other friends coming so the boat will be full. I guess when we are on someone else's boat I always offer up money, if they chose to accept it or not is up to them.

I'll admit at this point I'm afaid of sitting on the dock all summer and watching the water, so I am afraid to say too much.

ntidsl
07-13-2006, 11:41 AM
a jofar...just along for a ride

jlf
07-13-2006, 11:43 AM
we do have a few that come along just for the ride, but they are available mostly on the weekends, our problem is finding people for during the week after work, early evenings sort of thing.

bcampbe7
07-13-2006, 11:46 AM
If I invite someone on my boat, I don't expect gas money and do not take it if offerred. If you invite someone and they in turn invite other's then I would say the others need to fork over for gas money. Explain that to this 3rd. If he is bringing friends then they need to bring gas money. Pretty simple and not being b!tchy.

What about teaching some friends to board or ski. They then become your 3rd. Or if you have friends with boats you can alternate nights.

If all else fails, board without the 3rd but watch out for the water po-po.

bigmac
07-13-2006, 11:47 AM
Sorry about the spotter rule in WI. I confess my wife and I enjoy the ability to just go out on that glass at sunset spur-of-the-moment for some skiing or foiling.

The thing about the dog - wow!...that's bold. I would never even consider that being invited as a guest on someone's boat would mean I could bring my dog.

Ben
07-13-2006, 12:05 PM
Kind of an off track suggestion, but a thought occured to me last night while a baby sitter was watching our daughter. Pay her for an extra hour to be the third when my wife & I got home from dinner. Wife thought I was crazy of course, but this could work for you? Pay $5-7 an hour for a spotter. Probably cheaper than gas for 2 or 3 college guys, and you get more rides. Maybe eventually you tech the sitter to ski so you can get a break? you call....

Other option is to ask random neighbors. Go on a walk sometime around the area, there may some middle age to elderly person looking for a reason to get out of the house. I know of a few in my area that would get in the boat & ride a long for an activity....

peason
07-13-2006, 12:34 PM
Sorry about the spotter rule in WI. I confess my wife and I enjoy the ability to just go out on that glass at sunset spur-of-the-moment for some skiing or foiling.

The thing about the dog - wow!...that's bold. I would never even consider that being invited as a guest on someone's boat would mean I could bring my dog.

I too enjoy living in the land of 10,000 lakes. My wife and I really enjoy just the tow of us out in the evening. Just the other night we took the kids for a ride, went back to the house - dropped them off for showers and bed time while she and I both took a quick run and back to the house for tucking them in. The paid "baby" spotter sounds like a great idea! We are fortunate to have 4 spotters - but it sure is nice to leave them at the dock, when they are tired and go out and have a "date" night on the water.

chudson
07-13-2006, 12:54 PM
I was wondering where's the boat the college uses and how is gas paid for it?

The spotter question has come up before so any Illinois people wondering what the Law is :

"When towing a person on water skis, aquaplane or similar device, at least two competent persons must be in the boat". (It is unlawful to water ski from one-half hour after sunset to one-half hour prior to sunrise.)

http://www.idph.state.il.us/public/books/summer.htm

#47of100TeamMC
07-13-2006, 02:25 PM
We are about three hours from Milwaukee.

I suppose that means you are still about 2hrs from Hudson WI? It's just my wife and I too. and we are often looking for a 3rd (or a couple) as well.

#47.

jlf
07-13-2006, 03:37 PM
I suppose that means you are still about 2hrs from Hudson WI? It's just my wife and I too. and we are often looking for a 3rd (or a couple) as well.

#47.
Yes Hudson is a good two hours maybe three north of us. Meet somewhere in the middle sometime maybe. We've sort of tried to teach the friends to board or ski thing and it is also back firing in our face, now they expect to come with all the time, bring their friends and use our equipment and no help with gas or beer. again I just sit back and be quiet as least I am out on the water and I work with this person.

#47of100TeamMC
07-13-2006, 03:45 PM
I hope none of your not-so welcome 3rd's have any idea that this website exists. I've stuck my foot in my mouth a few times in a similar fashion. Not too much fun when they catch wind. But sounds like they are just amateurs... and haven't yet seen the light.

I feel your pain. My wife and I honeslty didn't know about the 3rd person rule in WI until this year... coming form MN, we skied just the 2 of us here in WI for all of last year numerous times. Luckily never saw any enforcement.

SD190EVO
07-14-2006, 09:42 AM
If it were a boat full of skirts that'd be one thing but a boat full of sausage is another. (kidding) I hope you at least had nice college eye-candy.

I'd find another thrid. Surely there is *someone* who would enjoy time on the lake.

And bringing a dog!?!?! Way out of line. IMO

pilot02
07-14-2006, 09:51 AM
just sent it to my sign guy!!!

someone mentioned kids...a guy at our lake has an 8 year old and an 11 year old and skis every day of the week with them...the 11 year old has been driving him for 4 years now!!! he skis 35 off, and the kids are skiing 22-28 off at their respective speeds...

Not legal in GA, but my 12yo son pulls me quite frequently barefooting though I haven't had him driving the course.

OSUspenc99
07-14-2006, 10:14 AM
Just an FYI. Bowling Green state university waterski team has in the past paid $5 for 3 pulls or 15 minutes boarding time. This is to cover the cost of the gas and the up keep of the boat that we are using. Now that our team has some money the school pays the boat owners by the hour. Our rate for that is $15.
Just some information that I thought some of you might like.

BrianM
07-14-2006, 10:45 AM
It's your boat speak up. I would be upset. Not about the gas money (I operate on the same lines as Beau) but about the fact that the guy shows up with a boat load of friends and a dog. I would just tell him flat out that you said a friend could come not his fraternity house and mascot. Hopefully he understands and becomes a good third. If not... his loss.

Having to have a spotter sucks. Before we joined our club the wife and I used to go out by ourselves all the time. I might just take my chances on weekday evenings.

Mag_Red
07-14-2006, 10:56 AM
Why not hire some one??? Pay them minimun wage, might be cheaper that lugging a bunch of inconsiderate college kids around the lake.:D

Upper Michigan Prostar190
07-14-2006, 11:05 AM
Why not hire some one??? Pay them minimun wage, might be cheaper that lugging a bunch of inconsiderate college kids around the lake.:D
what a concept! now there is a good job!

I envision this scenario at the bank when the professional spotter is applying for a car loan.

Loan officer - "and what is your occupation?"

SPotter - " I am a professional water ski spotter"
:D

jlf
07-14-2006, 11:27 AM
I did say something about the dog and about the number of friends. They have been better at the gas thing, they are at least trying to help out. So I guess it is getting better. I think I just needed to vent. My husband mentioned the same thing about hoping they do not frequent the site and I said oh well maybe they'll take the hint. Thanks for the advice, I do like them are fun. I just don't like being taken advantage. I really think it was the dog thing that was over the top for me. As far as gas goes, we don't expect it or ask for it, but it nice if they would offer when they bring a bunch of extras that I did't invite with. They are starting to get it, even are helping out with clean up of the boat. I think as long as the dog stays home from now on we'll be okay.