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PendO
07-06-2006, 01:50 AM
Well, HB already knows ... but I found out last week that I passed the WA state Feb. 2006 bar exam ... it was the first time I have taken the exam, but I finished law school in 2001 ... anyway, I found out in May that I had passed the substantive part of the exam, but scored 41.5 on my ethics and needed 42 to pass ... so, I was within the 1.5 point appeal range and appealed a few questions for review (and then had to sit around and wait)... last week I got a letter informing me that my questions were reviewed and I had passed the Ethics portion ... so now I have to send in a few $$ and get a bar ID #.

So, give me your favorite lawyer joke:)

Farmer Ted
07-06-2006, 01:59 AM
Well, HB already knows ... but I found out last week that I passed the WA state Feb. 2006 bar exam ... it was the first time I have taken the exam, but I finished law school in 2001 ... anyway, I found out in May that I had passed the substantive part of the exam, but scored 41.5 on my ethics and needed 42 to pass ... so, I was within the 1.5 point appeal range and appealed a few questions for review (and then had to sit around and wait)... last week I got a letter informing me that my questions were reviewed and I had passed the Ethics portion ... so now I have to send in a few $$ and get a bar ID #.

So, give me your favorite lawyer joke:)


Congrats!

Keeping with the Ethics theme,,,, here's your joke!


A businessman was trying to choose a lawyer, but was being very careful about it. He scheduled appointments to interview three lawyers.

At the first lawyer's office, after an initial exchange of pleasantries, the businessman said, "Okay, let's get down to business. I have an important question for you, and I want you to think carefully before answering. How much is two plus two?"

The lawyer raised his eyebrows. "two plus two is four." The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.

The second lawyer, who was also a CPA, seemed a bit more particular than the first lawyer. After an initial discussion, the businessman again announced that he had a very important question, and asked, "How much is two plus two?"

The second lawyer went over to a computer, and entered figures into a spreadsheet. "According to my calculations, two plus two is approximately four." The businessman thanked him for his time, and proceeded to his next appointment.

The third lawyer sat behind a big mahogany desk, and smoked a cigar. He seemed rather self-important as compared to the other two, but at the same time appeared to be much more successful. The businessman again announced, "I would like you to answer a very important question for me, before I decide whether I should use your services. How much is two plus two?"

The lawyer pulled the shades, locked the door to his office, and asked in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

Farmer Ted
07-06-2006, 02:00 AM
Another good one!

A doctor had just bought a villa on the French Riviera, when met an old lawyer friend whom he hadn't seen in years, and they started talking. The lawyer, as it turned out, owned a nearby villa. They discussed how they came to retire to the Riviera.

"Remember that lousy office complex I bought?" asked the lawyer, "Well, it caught fire, and I retired here with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"

The doctor replied, "Remember that real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds. It's amazing that we both ended up here in pretty much the same way."

"It sure is," the lawyer replied, looking puzzled, "but I'm confused about one thing - how do you start a flood?"

Farmer Ted
07-06-2006, 02:01 AM
Last one....

A lawyer, named Thomas Strange, was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.

"Here lies Thomas Strange, an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer.

"Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave, and the authorities would be confused. However, I could put 'Here lies an honest lawyer.'"

"But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer.

"Sure they will," replied the stonecutter. "Everyone who reads it will think, 'That's Strange!'"

ski_king
07-06-2006, 08:35 AM
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says, "I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."

"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"

"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.

"Hm. Well, where do you catch'em?"

"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."

"Same here. Hm. How do you catch'em?"

"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite'em, shake the $h!t out of'em, and eat'em!"

"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the $h!t out of a lawyer, there's nothin' left but lips and a briefcase..."

#47of100TeamMC
07-06-2006, 09:07 AM
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriff's Deputy.
The lawyer thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he's sure
that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself
and have some fun at the deputies expense.
Deputy says, "License and registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What for?"
Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign "
Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and
registration, please."
Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!"
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not, you let me go and don't give me a ticket."
Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir."
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating
the crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just
slow down?"

Ric
07-06-2006, 10:45 AM
congratulations counselor.. What are you going to do with this newly acquired title? Hang out a shingle?

SteveO
07-06-2006, 10:54 AM
Congratudolences! Does this mean your post count will go up like some other JD'd on this board? Better watch out Doug, looks like you may have some competition.

The age old lawyer joke.....What do you call 10 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?




A good start.

RexDog1
07-06-2006, 11:02 AM
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

Way to go, Congratulations :toast:

east tx skier
07-06-2006, 11:03 AM
Well, HB already knows ... but I found out last week that I passed the WA state Feb. 2006 bar exam ... it was the first time I have taken the exam, but I finished law school in 2001 ... anyway, I found out in May that I had passed the substantive part of the exam, but scored 41.5 on my ethics and needed 42 to pass ... so, I was within the 1.5 point appeal range and appealed a few questions for review (and then had to sit around and wait)... last week I got a letter informing me that my questions were reviewed and I had passed the Ethics portion ... so now I have to send in a few $$ and get a bar ID #.

So, give me your favorite lawyer joke:)

Pendo, congrats again. My favorite lawyer joke at the moment is "Hey, I know this guy who missed the ethics requirement on the bar exam by one half a point, but talked his way around it." 8p You'll make a fine lawyer, counsl'r!

Just in case someone thinks I'm giving Pendo a hard time, I'll confess that I didn't pass the ethics test (MPRE) the first time around. Texas requires 85% and I got 84%. What can I say, I met my wife at the review session and didn't pay attention. :o I didn't think 84% sounded so bad.

bigmac
07-06-2006, 11:10 AM
Pendo, congrats again. My favorite lawyer joke at the moment is "Hey, I know this guy who missed the ethics requirement on the bar exam by one half a point, but talked his way around it." 8p You'll make a fine lawyer, counsl'r!

Just in case someone thinks I'm giving Pendo a hard time, I'll confess that I didn't pass the ethics test (MPRE) the first time around. Texas requires 85% and I got 84%. What can I say, I met my wife at the review session and didn't pay attention. :o I didn't think 84% sounded so bad.

Hmmm...what does it mean that Washington requires a 42% on the ethics exam and Texas requires an 85%...? ;)

stevo137
07-06-2006, 11:12 AM
Congrats Pendo! That's a great accomplishment.

tex
07-06-2006, 11:23 AM
Pendo,

Congrats! Having spent the most part of my last 11 years working very closely with lawyers, I can say that you are a generally good group. Throw in one who owns a Mastercraft and you have cred with me!

I won't give you a joke but will tell you a story of when one lawyer introduced me to another one over cocktails...she said oh, he's just a court officer...to which I responded, I know, it's terrible, have you heard any good court officer jokes lately...that should tell you something!

shepherd
07-06-2006, 11:23 AM
what's the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road???
.

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There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

bcampbe7
07-06-2006, 11:25 AM
Hmmm...what does it mean that Washington requires a 42% on the ethics exam and Texas requires an 85%...? ;)

I don't think Tennessee even has an ethics portion. They figure you will never use it anyway. :D



Congrats Pendo! What are you going to do now?

east tx skier
07-06-2006, 11:27 AM
Mods, if this is a tad inappropriate feel free to delete.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? The hooker will stop screwing you when you die.

sizzler
07-06-2006, 11:32 AM
this surely isnt the same nice man i met in london :eek:

east tx skier
07-06-2006, 11:35 AM
I'm not half the man Andre's dog thinks I am.

atlfootr
07-06-2006, 12:08 PM
what's the difference between a dead lawyer in the middle of the road and a dead skunk in the middle of the road???
.
There are skid marks in front of the skunk. :uglyhamme :uglyhamme :uglyhamme

atlfootr
07-06-2006, 12:17 PM
Q: What is the Difference Between a Porcupine
And 2 Lawyers in a Porsche?

A: With a porcupine, the p****s are on the outside.

Congrats:friday:

André
07-06-2006, 12:40 PM
Congrats!!! Nice work!

A woman getting married for the third time talking to a friend:
"First i was married to a psychologist and he never wanted sex,just talk about it."
"Second husband was a gynecologist and he never wanted sex,just check mine."
"Now,i'm getting married to a lawyer,i'm sure to get **ck!!!

betsy&david Harrison
07-06-2006, 01:05 PM
Congrats PendO on a job well done :) B

Kell
07-06-2006, 01:30 PM
PendO, congrats on passing the WA State Bar exam on the first attemp. :toast: To this day, I can remember most of the questions on the exam when I took the bar......not an easy exam by any means. You and your family should be very proud of your current and continued accomplishments in that regard.

TMCNo1
07-06-2006, 01:37 PM
Way to go Pendo! My son-in-law has taken the NC Bar 3 times, after graduating at the top of his class from UNC Law School??????????????????

djhuff
07-06-2006, 01:43 PM
Way to go Pendo! My son-in-law has taken the NC Bar 3 times, after graduating at the top of his class from UNC Law School??????????????????


Must..... Hold.... Back..........


Wrong..... message...... board.........



Go NC STATE
not that we have a law school or anything. Just poking some fun.

Ric
07-06-2006, 02:08 PM
Way to go Pendo! My son-in-law has taken the NC Bar 3 times, after graduating at the top of his class from UNC Law School??????????????????
time for a refund?

PendO
07-06-2006, 02:14 PM
Thanks fellas ... as for the "what now?" ... I am putting together a resume ... ultimately it is a profession that I want to get into ... right now I manage a trucking company 22 employee's / 16 power units ... my timeline for getting a legal job is likely 3-6 months if I can find a good fit.

PendO
07-06-2006, 02:15 PM
Way to go Pendo! My son-in-law has taken the NC Bar 3 times, after graduating at the top of his class from UNC Law School??????????????????

My buddy has taken the CA exam 5 times and has given up:(

shepherd
07-06-2006, 02:25 PM
My buddy has taken the CA exam 5 times and has given up:(

:eek:
After I took the FL bar a friend asked me if I thought I passed. I said I had no idea, but I'd better because there was no way I was going to put myself through that again. Once was enough. I can't imagine 5 times (or even 3).

BriEOD
07-06-2006, 09:34 PM
Congratulations Casey and best of luck on the job search.

Cheers

Hoosier Bob
07-06-2006, 09:55 PM
1) A drunk walks into a bar and sceams at the top of his lungs, "Lawyers are A-Holes!" A man in the back stands and says, "I take offense to that!" The drunk says, "Why are you a lawyer?" The man in the back says, "NO I AM AN A-HOLE!" :D

2) I saw a funny thing the other day. My attorney walking down the street with his hands in "His" pockets! :D


BONAFIDE! :banana:

BriEOD
07-06-2006, 09:58 PM
What do lawyers and catfish have in common? One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker and the other is a fish.

east tx skier
07-06-2006, 10:29 PM
My buddy has taken the CA exam 5 times and has given up:(

My buddy took it twice before he passed. The same guy took the patent bar 4 times before he passed. Now he gets to live in San Diego, has his own practice, and surfs all the time.

mitch
07-07-2006, 10:43 AM
Congrats!

"You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.

"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.





Well, HB already knows ... but I found out last week that I passed the WA state Feb. 2006 bar exam ... it was the first time I have taken the exam, but I finished law school in 2001 ... anyway, I found out in May that I had passed the substantive part of the exam, but scored 41.5 on my ethics and needed 42 to pass ... so, I was within the 1.5 point appeal range and appealed a few questions for review (and then had to sit around and wait)... last week I got a letter informing me that my questions were reviewed and I had passed the Ethics portion ... so now I have to send in a few $$ and get a bar ID #.

So, give me your favorite lawyer joke:)